Jesus Fucking Christ

[SuperBacon]

On 11/26/2024 at 11:57 AM, Mr_Danger said:

If there’s not a follow up to this in the Shit House thread by the end of the week then I will lose all respect for you.

I’ll go first.  Leave the staff some tubs of celebrations as a thank you then wait for the offending staff member to take one and stop them and tell them they’re only for people who work there.

I'm gonna bankrupt them two biscuits at a time.

[Merzbow]

My local Asian supermarket is out of every variant of Lao Gan Ma chilli oil!

[Lion_of_the_Midlands]

As if I wasn't feeling old enough having to take blood pressure medication, when I picked up the new prescription today it has the days of the week printed on the foil like I'm senile. Then on top of that I went to pick up a car part for my brother and the man in the shop asked me if I was his dad. I'm 5 years older than my brother. Now I'm not saying that I don't look as rough as a blind carpenters thumb but I dont look that flipping old. 

[SuperBacon]

[Frankie Crisp]

Got our engagement photos through the other day. I wasn’t keen on being snapped when I was asking the question, but I knew the future Mrs. Crisp would want the digital memory so I went with it.

When I was sorting the setting, I asked for candles and the young girl making it happen asked me what arrangement I wanted. Didn’t have a clue. It was all done on email and I was up the wall with our house move, so I asked for ‘just two rows of them a bit like an aisle then a bit wider at the end so I can kneel down and ask the question’.

At the time - as we got on the roof and it unfolded with loads of emotion - it all seemed lovely and romantic and gorgeous and the setup was ace. Brownie points are in the bag for months. Can’t top it. Made up. 

Cue the long shot photos we got back:

I got engaged in a giant flaming dick.

Edited December 26, 2024 by Frankie Crisp

[Jazzy G]

On 12/5/2024 at 7:15 PM, SuperBacon said:

The blurb on Amazon doesn't read too badly. It seems to be a satire on the idea of the centrist dad from one of the Phlimena Cunk writers and a guy who's worked on Armstrong & Miller etc. 

[SuperBacon]

This German Maggi advert.

 

[Carbomb]

No eating any Maggi products before going to a Bowler event, then

[Lion_of_the_Midlands]

What the fuck has my life come to that I've spent part of this evening explaing what a slut drop is to a Baroness. I'm a traitor to the revolution. 

Edited January 18, 2025 by Lion_of_the_Midlands

[Frankie Crisp]

[Jazzy G]

I bought a copy of a game called Black Card Revoked on Temu. I them had a look on YouTube for a guide to how to play it and realised that I don't think I know a whole lot of people I'd be able to play it with, and even if I did find a group of people to play it with I wouldn't be able to play it with them.

[SuperBacon]

On 7/9/2024 at 4:06 PM, SuperBacon said:

Long time readers will remember just how much I detest unnecessary emails, reply all and the rest.

Someone has CCd around 100 people in an email (simple info one, absolutely zero need for a reply) instead of BCCd which is bad enough, but people are REPLYING ALL!!!

I'm going for a fag.

[WyattSheepMask]

On 1/3/2025 at 12:03 PM, SuperBacon said:

This German Maggi advert.

 

It’s OK, the Chinese wouldn’t stoop to such low levels.

Oh wait…..

 

[CleetusVanDamme]

My phone started BLARING scary noises and a government red alert took over earlier just to tell me it's going to be windy tomorrow. You can't do that to people who've watched Threads! I bricked it.

Edited January 23, 2025 by CleetusVanDamme

[Devon Malcolm]

Quote

CleetusVanDamme

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Woman Who Urinates on Herself (uncredited)