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WWE Royal Rumble 2022


Perry

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Watched this last night. I haven't watched any WWE since whatever the PPV before Survivor Series was (that I can't even remember what that was, says it all).

I skipped through half of the show and to be honest, still feel like I wasted two hours. Absolutely shite. And I love Brock Lesnar to boot. 

Sensory overload. You'd be kinder to your eyes and ears by igniting a petrol bomb inside your skull. 

 

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4 hours ago, Shane O' Mac Version 2 said:

The Elimination Chamber IS the blood money PPV this year. No Crown Jewel or Super Showdown, at least at this point in the year.

Based on the wacky nostalgia booking of previous shitshows, I fully expect Sid to win the title.

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Just got done watching the show, which I did in two sittings.

Reigns v Rollins was decent enough but fuck me do I hate Seth Rollins. The Shield stuff is old enough to be considered nostalgic, but it just showed how little effort they put into anything now. 
Seth comes out in The Shield gear, ok, maybe act like the person he was back then, the person who fooled Roman into thinking they were like brothers for so long. Nope, still cackling away and acting like a bellend. 
Also no effort put into emphasising that Roman lost, even if it was by DQ. 
This was Roman’s first singles competition defeat since December 15th 2019. 2 Years, 1 Month and 15 Days, or 776 Days as they like to say. That’s Pre-Pandemic, that’s how fucking long ago it was. You’d think that might be something worth mentioning. Nah. 
And shut up Michael Cole - “Seth Rollins coming through the crowd like The Shield did for so many years”. The Shield’s run from debut to breakup ran less than 2 years.

The Woman’s Rumble- Completely forgettable and I’m suspicious that between noncebait Alexa, Saraya’s repackaging on NXT and Sasha Banks’ gear on this that Vince and Prichard have recently discovered Hentai.

Brock v Lashley - Great hype video that made it feel like a big fight, but the match was only alright at best. Couldn’t they have just put the belt on Lashley at Day 1? Or even had Big E retain there and drop it to Lashley here? Rather than Brock having a title defence and being the Rumble?

Men’s Rumble Match - Switched to the French commentary for this because there was no way I was listening to Pat McAfee for an hour.
Combinations that have been completely done to death, absolutely no stars whatsoever other than Brock, and him coming in and smashing the remaining field just emphasised how shite they all are.
How the fuck is Dolph Ziggler still employed? He’s done absolutely nothing for fucking years and Robert Roode’s done even less. 
So, in kayfabe terms, who would’ve been #30 if Brock had won earlier in the night? They’ll explain it all I’m sure, they wouldn’t just not explai...oh, who am I kidding. Everything’s just such a mess.

Johnny Knoxville, Bad Bunny, Shane McMahon and Randy Orton (because he was the hometown boy) got the biggest pops of the match. That tells you everything you need to know.

Edited by WyattSheepMask
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22 hours ago, Perry said:

Apparently Shane will be working the next 2 PPVs. I wonder what gimmick match they have for him at Mania this year? 

Well apparently Shane’s already been sent packing due to the poor reception the Rumble match received as he was the lead producer/writer for the match. Creative have supposedly been told “there will be no more creative discussions about Shane McMahon” and everything for him up to and including Wrestlemania has been scrapped

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9 minutes ago, WyattSheepMask said:

Well apparently Shane’s already been sent packing due to the poor reception the Rumble match received as he was the lead producer/writer for the match. Creative have supposedly been told “there will be no more creative discussions about Shane McMahon” and everything for him up to and including Wrestlemania has been scrapped

Classic. 

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23 hours ago, Perry said:

Apparently Shane will be working the next 2 PPVs. I wonder what gimmick match they have for him at Mania this year? 

You seem to preface a few posts like this with an “Apparently”, could you possibly post where you saw this as some sources are far more reliable than others. 

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I thought Seth shithousing Roman was funny, I hadn't watched any of the build up outside of little clips on Twitter, so it would have been strange IMO for Seth to now be normal again. I thought it was well done, he's winding Roman up but he's still a heel. I'm not sure they were trying to get any sympathy from the post match beatdown, the point was to boo Roman more which I think they achieved. The ending of the Lesnar/Lashley match was abysmal. The referee mist have been watching it on a monitor backstage and if it was a face doing that to a heel the referee would've come down and thrown the result out. I don't have a problem with that referee making the count, he could've come out to help his mate and all the shenanigans could have happened while he was out there and he was unaware.

The womens rumble was dreadful. Ronda was shocking, so wooden, and her strikes were barely believable. Bianca, Charlotte and Rhea looked more like stars than everyone else in that match combined including Sasha. I guess the poor booking will come back and restrain Bianca and Rhia. The continual cuts to random people in the crowd when the buzzer hit was strange.

I thought the mens match was laughable. It's so sad to see what they have done to Big E, the guy could be money but was tossed out here with absolutely no fanfare whatsoever, I mean he was the Champion at the start of the year FFS. Good to see Drew got a decent reaction, I thought his stuff with Corbin and Moss was well done and was probably the only part of the match that made sense. Corbin and Moss working well together, guy they screwed comes back and dumps them out. Easy. Saying that though why did Moss eliminate AJ? He was made to look like an absolute clown. As others have said everything outside of Reigns/Lesnar is so cold. Who is Vince even writing for these days? Nobody's expecting classic matches, we just want some stories that make sense!

Edited by stewdogg
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17 hours ago, Keith Houchen said:

You seem to preface a few posts like this with an “Apparently”, could you possibly post where you saw this as some sources are far more reliable than others. 

Well that was the plan until he got the boot yesterday.  As someone else posted, it was going to be Shane v Rollins at Mania, apparently. 

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2 hours ago, Perry said:

Well that was the plan until he got the boot yesterday.  As someone else posted, it was going to be Shane v Rollins at Mania, apparently. 

Did they post where they read it? “Apparently” could mean anyone from Tildescoops.com down to Rob Puffs chihuahua. 

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Please forgive me....

So, I love a Rumble and as Rumble season just passed I thought I’d kill a spare hour by finally watching last years since it’s up on the WWE YouTube channel. To bridge the gap a little between when I stopped watching properly and today. I intended to go full bore with as much detail as possible about what I thought, good and bad, but…. as you’ll read, it became too exhausting to document the bad.

Cole’s monotone delivery when Orton comes out at number 2 to face someone with as much personal history with him as Edge is just sad. All three of them should have shit themselves. “Sami Zayn is entering his fourth Royal Rumble match (ick)” - Who Cares? Count : 1. Cole bleats about how on average number 3 lasts the shortest time. Who cares? Besides, Flair won from number 3. This is not fair to Flair. Ali comes out at number four and we’re treated to that it’s his second Rumble AND that he lasted nearly 30 minutes in his first. Who cares count : 4 already. Jeff Hardy comes out at number 5 and Cole says “The Charismatic Enigma” with all the enthusiasm of announcing he’s about to have an enema. Three RKOs wake me up then Edge avoids one on the table and gives Orton an Edgucution on it which Cole comes alive for. 

Dolph comes in at number 6 and Cole announces he’s been in 14 Rumbles (Who cares?) and only Kane  has been in more (who cares?) and as has been pointed out before it just serves to highlight he’s not won it. Some bleating about Orton “looking to equal Stone Cold” (with three wins) which is up there with “going to WrestleMania” in terms of missing the fucking point. Nakamura in next and according to Graves “has momentum on his side” which sounds like bullshit but I can’t tell you for sure if it was at the time. You can’t believe how happy I was to see Carlito come down, I had no idea he’d had this gig, and always felt he was more interesting than a lot of the dross they’ve kept hold of within the last ten years. 

Why did Big E come down to different music E.g. not New Day….? “Big E in his 8th Rumble” …. Who the fuck cares?? That’s 7. “Johnny Drip Drip” (seriously??) comes in for HIS 8th Rumble…. Sigh. This is where I tapped out of doing a minute by minute as the “who cares” count for inane stat babble had reached 8 by entrant number 11, and the match started with fucking two men so on average Cole pissed me off eight times out of nine entrants. That’s a nice stat.

Here’s some token thoughts on the rest of the match ;

Big E looked like a star in waiting. I can’t believe he’ll be lost in the midcard mire again so soon after winning one of the world titles.

Damian Priest is “The archer of infamy”… literally means nothing, doesn’t it? Does he wield a bow usually? He looked decent to be fair. I still don’t know who Bad Bunny is but the crossbody from the top on Miz and Morrison was a fun spot for a celebrity. Graves calling Miz and Morrison the greatest tag team of the 21st Century was the worst thing I’ve heard since Hogan pretended Kennedy was a massive game changer.

Referring to Riddle and Nakamura as two of the best strikers in the company was hilarious when both proved incapable of striking well enough to knock the other off their feet. Hearing Matt Riddle just referred to as “Riddle” in general makes my skin itch. 

Hearing them refer to Daniel Bryan talking about his career winding down is one of those calls we will look back on and ridicule exactly the same as we remember the WWF mocking The Hulkster for being old in 95-97 and putting the belt on him in 2002. Watching Bryan trade moves with Ricochet, who I had to check if he was still employed or not, is really depressing in the same match that I have to endure dry rot like Ziggler and Miz.

Kane coming down he looked like a fat dad in a bad Kane Halloween costume. Watching him double choke slam Riddle and Nakamura felt like watching a ropey No Mercy mod video from 2016. Watching him eliminate Ricochet felt like Vince personally pissing in my eyes.

Corbin looks a million times better with no hair and actually looked OK with what he did in this Rumble. Probably because it was brief, and I don’t have to watch him every week.

“The eye of the storm is coming to the thunderdome.” Nobody has ever sounded less surprised by a surprise entrant than Cole did for The Hurricane.

“And speaking of Edge, here comes his former buddy Christian!” OH FUCK YOU, Cole. Fuck you straight to hell. At least Joe and Graves sounded excited.

AJ coming down, looked like just another guy, which was sad, but I got a kick out of him trading blows with Christian and the Phenomenal Forearm/spear sequence with Edge looked great. He looked great with Rey too, and it’s crazy to think Rey was stale in 2013. His time away did him good. Rey looked good, Cesaro looked good, and about about the time Sheamus came in I started looking at how many skilled, reliable wrestlers in the ring capable of great matches that simply haven’t been made into stars because only Lesnar, Reigns and partly Lashley have been allowed to look like stars for years.

Say what you want about Rollins and plenty have said plenty, his entrance made him look a star, he carried himself like a star and if I didn’t already knew who won I’d have bought him as capable of winning. Then talk about fallen fucking stars, Strowman comes down at Number 30 and it’s total bollocks that he didn’t win. Watching Bryan trade blows with Riddle and watching Riddle do moves with Rollins, it depresses me how good the wrestling still can be but how bad the booking and presentation is.

I understand adding fake cheers or boos but the artificial “this is awesome” chants were fucking insulting.

The spot where  Strowman saw through Rollins buddy-buddy act was good but a total waste, as he didn’t actually throw Seth out which would have been perfect heel comeuppance. But they redeemed it with a stunning ending, the Orton sprint finish was absolutely fantastic and perfect use of the “missing wrestler” bullshit as I’d legitimately forgotten he’d left even though when he did, I knew he’d be back. Very well done. Overall it was a tiring match to watch because there was so much that felt like none of it would matter, until the end, where Edge won. But of course in the end that didn’t matter either because he was just Reigns fodder.

I then ended up watching HHH vs Big Dave from whichever Mania that was, which was a fun brawl in front of a sadly silent/knackered crowd, which actually had a decent call from Graves, especially in the early going. “This guys my BOSS!”

Edited by air_raid
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