Paid Members FLips Posted May 13, 2021 Paid Members Posted May 13, 2021 If I can I'll do a sitty down wee, but if not then I'll have a quick dab.
Paid Members John Matrix Posted May 13, 2021 Paid Members Posted May 13, 2021 I can’t tell you how relieved I am by the numerous accounts of slow motion widdling amongst the, ahem, senior members of the board. Turn 40 in August and for the last few months I’ve become acutely aware of of how long it takes to get started, often resorting to turning the tap on to get proceedings underway, but fuck me, honestly, once it eventually gets to work, it’s like Bullet-time my flow. I have fond memories of my late teens, early 20s, of urinating with such force I could’ve brought unruly protests to a close - thank god for Netflix, I can binge a fucking box-set in there these days. oh, and I’m a wiper, though not so precious about it that I’ll hunt down a slice of communal piss rag to dab it off with.
Moderators neil Posted May 13, 2021 Moderators Posted May 13, 2021 5 hours ago, scratchdj said: Being over 40 I’ve fully embraced the sit down wee as the important tool that it is. Going for a piss takes far longer than it used to, and the dab/wipe only adds to that. I've been doing a 50/50 split of sit down pees since my 20s. Honestly the stupid male stigma around not sitting down for a piss is ruining a lot of fellas lives.
Keith Houchen Posted May 13, 2021 Posted May 13, 2021 I’m now wondering if Fela from Millards school can still reach the ceiling with his piss.
Factotum Posted May 13, 2021 Posted May 13, 2021 The worst bit is popping the chap back in, zipping up and turning around to feel a dribble and then a spread. Its why, at work, I took to using the disabled toilets at times, as the hand dryer can come in handy.
wordsfromlee Posted May 13, 2021 Posted May 13, 2021 There's a bloke at my work who after finishing his piss at the urinal, instead of giving it a shake, he'll flick the tip about 15-20 times. After all the other blokes said they'd witnessed it too, one of them decided to ask him about why he does it. Apparently when he was a kid, while going for a slash at an airport during a family holiday, he witnessed an Italian man doing the same. He thought that it must be a far superior method if it's what they do on the continent and has been doing it ever since. A good 40+ years now. It's not even a light flick. It's a full on, back of the ear-style flick like you used to do in the playground. You can hear him doing it from the cubicles at the other end of the toilets. 15 or so of them. Every time he takes a piss. For over 40 years. I haven't seen it but I presume his bellend is as calloused as a dressmakers thumb. It's not even the weirdest thing about the guy.
Mr_Danger Posted May 13, 2021 Posted May 13, 2021 I mean surely you see him do it 3 or 4 times then look away, what are you all doing watching the weird fucker smash his helmet 20 times? Does he get to 19 before giving it the “Shall I?” then pound it one last time as you all count along?
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted May 13, 2021 Author Paid Members Posted May 13, 2021 I'll be very disappointed if @wordsfromlee's workplace don't refer to him as Dick Flick.
Glenryck Pilchards Posted May 13, 2021 Posted May 13, 2021 I am a shaker, but on the odd occasion I will windmill myself dry as a treat. I say windmill, more like a pin wheel.
wordsfromlee Posted May 13, 2021 Posted May 13, 2021 24 minutes ago, Mr_Danger said: I mean surely you see him do it 3 or 4 times then look away, what are you all doing watching the weird fucker smash his helmet 20 times? Does he get to 19 before giving it the “Shall I?” then pound it one last time as you all count along? I'm not watching him do it any amount of times. I'm usually in a cubicle wondering if it's him out there or if Rocky has bought his slabs of beef out of the freezer and into the gents.
Paid Members John Matrix Posted May 13, 2021 Paid Members Posted May 13, 2021 9 minutes ago, wordsfromlee said: I'm not watching him do it any amount of times. I'm usually in a cubicle wondering if it's him out there or if Rocky has bought his slabs of beef out of the freezer and into the gents. Thank you for this. Had a shit week and that’s tickled me no end.
Joe Blog Posted May 13, 2021 Posted May 13, 2021 1 hour ago, Keith Houchen said: I’m now wondering if Fela from Millards school can still reach the ceiling with his piss. It was Fola you charlatan.
Keith Houchen Posted May 13, 2021 Posted May 13, 2021 2 minutes ago, Joe Blog said: It was Fola you charlatan. The Fela story was for top tier patreon subs.
King Coconut Posted May 13, 2021 Posted May 13, 2021 In my school Wayne Davies could piss the highest but he'd pull his foreskin right back, which is obviously cheating.
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