Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted May 13, 2021 Author Paid Members Share Posted May 13, 2021 The sit down piss has been something that has been a long-time necessity for me since having kids, because they don't respect toileting boundaries at all. If you lock the door then I learned the hard way that they will yell "WHY HAVE YOU LOCKED THE DOOR, DAD, ARE YOU HAVING A POOOOOOOOOOOOOO?!" for anybody within a 5km radius to hear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted May 13, 2021 Share Posted May 13, 2021 50 minutes ago, marc2j said: Firstly, this thread is hilarious. Secondly, as a youngster I found no need to bother, but as I shuffle towards middle age, the shake and wipe is an ever more frustrating necessity in my life. For those cretins who give their old boy a full hand shandy at urinals - have you no shame? Yep. I’m certainly at the stage in life where grey jogging bottoms are a very brave choice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members gmoney Posted May 13, 2021 Paid Members Share Posted May 13, 2021 20 minutes ago, scratchdj said: Come again? If you're doing that at the urinal, then you're definitely a wrongun.  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Justice Posted May 13, 2021 Share Posted May 13, 2021 1 hour ago, Chest Rockwell said: As well as a shake another tool at your disposal is applying a bit of pressure at the base of your scrotum to get the last drop out. Exactly this. A 98% success rate with this method. I don't see how wiping will stop any excess wee from leaking out of your pisspipe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted May 13, 2021 Moderators Share Posted May 13, 2021 Oh shit. Steve's agreed with me and I'm on the losing side of the vote right now. I think I just had a moment of realisation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Justice Posted May 13, 2021 Share Posted May 13, 2021 2 minutes ago, Chest Rockwell said: Oh shit. Steve's agreed with me and I'm on the losing side of the vote right now. I think I just had a moment of realisation. Maybe we should meet up and go for a shit? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Surf Digby Posted May 13, 2021 Paid Members Share Posted May 13, 2021 5 hours ago, Devon Malcolm said: At the urinal? At the sink. Only at home, obviously. I don't go bounding across the gents at intu with my knob out so that I can flop it over the edge of the basin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Danger Posted May 13, 2021 Share Posted May 13, 2021 (edited) Never used to. A hearty stream of piss and a good shake seemed to do the job but as I get older it’s like a sprinkler system with a leaky faucet so when I’m at home I’ll wash the little fella when I’m washing my hands. Plus nothing kills a potential blowie quicker than a smelly cock so it’s good to stay on top of these things just in case.  Standing wee’s have been off the menu for a long time too. The girls bursting in every time I go to the toilet was bad enough but the little lad thinks nothing of it to flop out and join me in a standing wee from the side of the basin and his aim is worse than mine. Edited May 13, 2021 by Mr_Danger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members marc2j Posted May 13, 2021 Paid Members Share Posted May 13, 2021 If COVID-19 has given us any benefits at all, its the distance between each urinal which prevents the obvious pump action next to you. Also, at my age (not that I'm that old admittedly), potential blowies go hand in hand with a booked hotel and ALL of the booze. Hotel basins are almost made for dipping and cleansing, no? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Briefcase Posted May 13, 2021 Share Posted May 13, 2021 Nothing more annoying then when you get the little dribble down your leg*   *According to a good friend of mine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted May 13, 2021 Author Paid Members Share Posted May 13, 2021 Hearing rumours that Loki stuffs a digit up his lad's eye before a Zoom call. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DavidB6937 Posted May 13, 2021 Share Posted May 13, 2021 Well that's Thread Of The Year wrapped up already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rule One Posted May 13, 2021 Share Posted May 13, 2021 Due to the surgeries I've had downstairs, it's a necessity. There's an art to it though. I wonder if there's a potential market for toilet/environmentally friendly knob wipes? Something with a hint of lemony freshness that will burn your eyeballs through if you put your hands down there and then anywhere near your face. Or Tena Mans, we catch your piss so the washing machine can handle your cum and shit stains! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members marc2j Posted May 13, 2021 Paid Members Share Posted May 13, 2021 For a few weeks during the lockdown process, we had 'flushable wipes' in the downstairs bathroom which were incredibly convenient and indeed made my member smell vaguely like lemon. I can only imagine if left long enough the process could make me smell like a turgid cheesecake down below. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Danger Posted May 13, 2021 Share Posted May 13, 2021 Let me tell you all what to do with those left over KFC hand wipes.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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