VHS and Betamax You Have Recently Rented

[BomberPat]

Miracle Mile

Possibly surprisingly, I had never heard of this movie until someone picked it for our film night. It starts out as a fairly by-the-numbers romance story, but then very harshly pivots to be a race against time ahead of nuclear explosion. In that respect it's kind of like Threads in that you're seeing normality shattered, but it being a stylised romance set in Vegas, the "reality" never feels all that real in the first place, and instead it's just the maddest tonal shift I've ever seen in cinema. On reflection I enjoyed it, but it's one of those movies where, when the credits started rolling, I had no idea how I felt about it.

Kes

Watched while my other half was out, as I didn't think she'd enjoy it. She came home just in time to see the boy bonding with his teacher over Kes, to really allow for the gut punch of having a kestrel put in a bin. Bleak and harrowing and just as brilliant as it ever was, and I took a small degree of enjoyment out of my girlfriend not understanding half of what anyone was saying. 

[Dr. Alan Grant]

Bill & Ted Face The Music. I watched it last night and I have to agree with LaGoosh. I thought it was appalling. Like an SNL skit where Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter revive the characters but don’t really remember how to play them. The historical figures (and Kid Cudi for some reason) aren’t a patch on Ghengis Khan, Joan Of Arc etc for providing anything memorable. There’s a scene in Excellent Adventure where they go to the future for the first time and we hear “In Time” as everyone plays air guitar. It gives me goosebumps. There was nothing in Face The Music that even came close to capturing any of the magic of the previous two. It doesn’t help that I had watched Baz Luhrmann’s vibrant and kninetic Elvis earlier in the day. To then watch this lifeless mess just annoyed me further.

I’m now going to master time travel so I can stop this from being made.

[Devon Malcolm]

4 hours ago, BomberPat said:

Miracle Mile

Possibly surprisingly, I had never heard of this movie until someone picked it for our film night. It starts out as a fairly by-the-numbers romance story, but then very harshly pivots to be a race against time ahead of nuclear explosion. In that respect it's kind of like Threads in that you're seeing normality shattered, but it being a stylised romance set in Vegas, the "reality" never feels all that real in the first place, and instead it's just the maddest tonal shift I've ever seen in cinema. On reflection I enjoyed it, but it's one of those movies where, when the credits started rolling, I had no idea how I felt about it.

There's almost no other movie like this from the 80s. Almost unmarketable and doomed to fail but also completely committed to its ideas. It's really good.

[wordsfromlee]

I'd completely forgotten Bill & Ted Face The Music even existed. I don't think I've heard anyone even mention it since the week it was released until now.

[davertfnewman]

Had the displeasure of watching the first half of Fast X today, which I don't think anyone will be surprised to read was absolutely ridiculous, yet even a rolling bomb that won't stop until it's knocked off a bridge by a crane hit by a car like some weird pinball machine isn't as bad as the acting.

[Devon Malcolm]

The Fast and the Furious films are famously regarded for their Lee Strasberg-influenced performances,

[davertfnewman]

Both similarly lifeless.

[FLips]

Popped to my 3rd local CEX to mop up what I could when I finished early today.

Godfather Collection: £4
Once Upon A Time in The West: £1.50
The Untouchables: £1.50
Mortal Kombat (2021): £2
Mama Mia & Mama Mia 2: £2.50
Magnificent Seven: £4
Jurassic Park Trilogy: £4
The Italian Job: £1.50
Goodfellas (2 Disc Special Edition that apparently fixes the display and isn’t split onto two sides of one disc): £1.50 and will return the other copy.
Dungeons & Dragons: £4

£26.50 total. Not bad I don’t think.

[Onyx2]

6 hours ago, FLips said:

The Untouchables

Terrific! Scene chewing excellence. 

[FLips]

Seven Samurai
I'm not sure how many versions there are but mine is the BFI version which boasts a 190 minute runtime, digitally remastered from a new print and is "the most complete" version available. I did notice an annoying amount of undubbed dialogue though, sometimes full sentences were said and I had no idea what was said.

It was great, and I can see how this inspired so many other things after it, but I wouldn't personally put it anywhere near my top films of all time.

My most meatheaded criticism of it is that it's in black and white, and I know that's unfair, but it's screaming out for some colour. The Japanese countryside, the samurai attire, the fire, the blood. If it wasn't muddied by being 70 year old and monochrome it would jump the quality up a bunch, but I know that's an unfair criticism, but it is what it is.
My other two main criticisms are that the villagers are so pathetic and annoying that quite honestly I wouldn't have even bothered saving them. There is some acting in this which is spectacular; in fact all of the Samurai impressed me, though I did find Kikuchiyo annoying and over the top at times. The villagers though, fucking hell. All they do is cry and scream and pull big gawping faces, it's miserable. Who could watch this and be like "I really hope they save Manzo".

My last criticism is one I'll come back to on a later film, but before I could put it into context, I found the film a bit too long. Way too much time spent on the farmers, on nothing at times even. I never found myself bored or drifting off with it, but there was certainly times I felt myself waiting for something to happen. But like I said, I'll come back to this point later.

Outside of those moans though I found the whole thing brill. The tension, the characters of the Samuari; each distinguishable by a particular trait or skill, the battle scenes in the pouring rain and mud. It's less an action adventure film like I expected and more similar to a war film, especially that poignant ending which I thought was delivered perfectly without being hammy.

The Magnificent Seven
Curious to see a retelling of the Seven Samurai, I put this one on later that day.

Immediately happier that it's in colour. Even the brown and yellow desert setting provided a visually better film so it was off to a better start. In a surprise turn of events though I actually think the dubbed Japanese dialogue was better than the script here; some of it is lifted soullessly word for word and delivered without any thought, like it was being read off an autocue.
Some of the scenes are also lifted move for move but some vary. They are what they are, I wouldn't say either is better or worse than the other because they're as good as the same thing.

The cast is spot on, can't moan about that. I think this is the first thing I've seen with Yul Brynner in and jesus what a presence he has. The look, the voice, the charisma. He was a perfect lead role. Recognisable faces elsewhere with Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson, Robert Vaughn, Eli Wallach and a bunch of other familiars make for a good time. Wallach as well is given a lot more to do and say as the leader of the bandits than in the original where they were almost just another number.

Going back to my criticism of Samurai being too long, watching this right after I think nullified the criticism somewhat because here runtime is 2 hours and you can really tell how much they cut out to jump to the action quicker. I hated the villagers in Samurai but they were given backstory and time so you felt like you knew who the Samurai were protecting. Here apart from the 3 who go looking for help getting a little bit of character, the rest are nameless faces.
I personally could do with it being somewhere in between, I think 2h30 is the sweet spot.

I like some of the extra character beats the Seven are given here though, Harry doing the job because he's convinced of hidden treasure, Bernardo bonding with the kids, Vin wanting to settle down. I feel less is sometimes more and some of the cowboys here are as thematically strong as the Samurai with less build.

I found myself somewhat relieved too when the cowboys started dying because I thought it was going to be an ego driven hollywood remake where everyone rides off into the sunset. I think it was rushed and handled poorly compared to the original but at least they had the guts to do it. That end line about them always taking a loss doesn't hit as hard in this as the original either. They couldn't help themselves with the boy getting the girl though I guess.

I think they're both good films in their own right though. If you want a bleaker, almost war-like take with more character background and stronger dialogue then if you have the time watch Seven Samurai. If you want a shorter, more familiarly casted experience that's easier to watch, quicker to watch but skips some of the deeper stuff then go with Magnificent Seven. Both worth a go but honestly if I wanted that story again I would find myself reaching for Magnificent sooner.

Ransom
Mel Gibson plays an unlikeable millionaire who's son gets kidnapped right from under his nose, and then in a surprise twist is asked for a $2 Million ransom.

I'll be honest I was just about ready to turn this one off and go do something else but the second half of the film thankfully hits you with twist after twist and by the end I was glad I watched it. Spoilers ahead if you plan on watching this any time soon.

Gary Sinise is a great slimy bad guy and the reveal of him stumbling across the kidnapped kid and holding a gun to the bad guy's head, only to reveal himself as the main bad guy was excellently done. Similarly Mel Gibson being an unlikeable millionaire and that actually coming into effect when he owns up to his crimes and then risks killing his own son to change the ransom into a bounty on Gary Sinise is a hell of a move and dragged me right back in.

It stops being a generic kidnapping film and turns into this spiteful battle of two arseholes trying to one up each other and actually gets really fun from there as suddenly the kid is meaningless and his own dad is more concerned with being right than saving him. Top stuff.

 

[davertfnewman]

After mentioning recently that I'd not got past the first hour of Once Upon a Time in the West, I went through the first half last night and the second half this morning. Excellent film, that's as much about how it sounds as how it looks. You realise as well that it's a case of wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, BANG! For instance, the first half hour comprises about three scenes, which each culminate after an act of violence out of nowhere. Cheyenne almost seems a spare prick at a wedding but does more than enough to claim his place at the table.

Now it's been watched, it's an easy repeat.

[Cod Eye]

On 4/11/2025 at 9:25 AM, BomberPat said:

Kes

Watched while my other half was out, as I didn't think she'd enjoy it. She came home just in time to see the boy bonding with his teacher over Kes, to really allow for the gut punch of having a kestrel put in a bin. Bleak and harrowing and just as brilliant as it ever was, and I took a small degree of enjoyment out of my girlfriend not understanding half of what anyone was saying. 

I'm a Barnsley lad, so my view on this may be biased, but I think its one of the best movies ever made. Like you say, the gut punch when the bird is dead is heartbreaking.

 

Bit of trivia for you too, my mums teacher at school was the brother(i think) of Barry Hines who wrote it, and Barry visited them one day to talk about it. Dai Bradley who played Billy was not an actor, and could not get the emotion of the bird being killed over right. So the actor who played the brother, "Judd", told him he was pissed off at him messing up and that he's killed the REAL bird in his temper. So when Billy is kicking off and trying to hit him with the birds corpse, that all real emotion. As soon as the take was over, they fetched the real bird out alive and well.

 

 

[ReturnOfTheMack]

The theatre I used to work at did Kes for the big season opener a few years back. Present show was advertised as a free outdoor kestrel show. 

In the run up the first bird was poisoned. The second just died. The third was killed by its companion bird. The fourth was only trained enough to be carried in public, not flown.

[King Coconut]

34 minutes ago, ReturnOfTheMack said:

In the run up the first bird was poisoned. The second just died. The third was killed by its companion bird. The fourth was only trained enough to be carried in public, not flown.

[FLips]

The Godfather
Another all-time classic I'd never seen and this one didn't disappoint. Distinctive characters and like all good mafia films could fill up a page of the "Pleasing to Look At" thread.

Not as snappy and to the point as Goodfellas but obviously this one has two sequels to follow and it ends on I suppose not quite a cliffhanger as such but certainly an "oh shit what happens next" moment.
I don't think all of it particularly works, for example Michael's brief stint in Sicily which is short enough for his facial bruises not to heal but long enough to meet, marry and settle down with a woman. The impact of the car bomb is big, but you don't feel like a main character was lost or anything.
The stuff that does work though, wow. The horse in the bed, the diner assassination, the ambush of Sonny, the executions of the five families during the baptism, it's just hit after hit.

Keen to watch Godfather II but maybe not so much III which nobody has anything good to say about.

Once Upon a Time in The West
It's hard to write about films like The Godfather and this because they're just so good that it seems pointless to go on about them!

Loved this though and I think actually yeah I would place it above the Dollars Trilogy. The realisation that Harmonica's tune is based on his laboured breathing when Frank hung his Brother off his shoulders is superb, and that whole scene with the quickdraw and Harmonica putting the instrument in Frank's mouth and hearing his "tune" is brilliantly cathartic and turns this mysterious stranger into a tragic figure finally getting his revenge and it's perfect.
Henry Fonda as Frank with his eery baby blue eyed stare and merciless killing is one of the best bad guys I've seen in recent times. "Now You've called me by name" is terrifying.
Cheyenne and McBain are perfect foil to go with the two fairly quiet leads and the story with Sweetwater chugs along nicely.

As excellent as the Dollars Trilogy was it was ropey at times but this feels like a fully realised film. The culmination of a craft and executed perfectly. Might be one of the best films I've ever seen.