VHS and Betamax You Have Recently Rented

[Scott Malbranque]

Red Lights - Good Jaysus, what happened with that ending? Which, in turn meant, what happened with the whole film?
I actually went to me pit in a huff over that and started Googling "Red Lights Ending Explained" in case I missed something, and that led to me Googling "Sigourney Weaver nude". See how this shite starts? And me trying to reinvent myself and grow up.

Think I'll watch Upgrade tonight, as it's just incredible.

 

[Hannibal Scorch]

Mulan - Disney’s best live action remake by a country mile. Mainly because they don’t attempt to remake the cartoon. And the shit dragon sidekick and songs were all dropped. This is a bloodless Crouching Tiger alike. Was very surprised by it. Well worth a watch.

[SuperBacon]

I'm Thinking Of Ending Things

Fan-fucking-tastic. Everything I want from a Kaufman film to be honest, and the whole cast are superb, with some excruciating scenes. Thewlis is great, but Jessie Buckley steals it and quite frankly, can spit in my mouth.

Muriel's Wedding

Was reminded when watching the former that I re-watched this last week. This was one of two films we had at secondary school for when there was no sub/teacher couldn't be arsed (The other was Strictly Ballroom weirdly enough), and so I've seen this a stupid amount of times, and it's still so bloody charming and Toni Collette is a treasure. Loved every second of it.

[Devon Malcolm]

The Taking of Beverly Hills (nefarious means - it's also on Prime rental)

If I'd have seen this 20-odd years ago, when I should have done, it may well be one of my favourite films by now. Just a big, stupid, action film with loads of explosions and quality character actors and I fucking loved it.

Gretel & Hansel (nefarious means)

Really atmospheric and self-contained horror film, and a nice spin on the fairytale. No jump scares either, which is always a huge bonus. And 87 minutes!

13 Going on 30 (Prime)

Why did nobody tell me this was so good? Has Jennifer Garner ever produced a better performance than this? And how much more can I fancy Judy Greer? 

Edited September 4, 2020 by Devon Malcolm

[Hannibal Scorch]

Everything is improved greatly when Judy Greer is in it (See Jurassic World as a case in point)

[Keith Houchen]

I’m thinking of ending things. 
You know how authors finish another authors unfinished works or continue another authors characters in the style of the original? A bit like the new Bond books? This is a film David Lynch couldn’t be arsed to make. Great performances and some nice scenes but ultimately not very good. 

[SuperBacon]

Love, Guaranteed

I am convinced that this has to be a money laundering/tax dodge scheme for Netflix.

I can get behind the theory that some people specifically got the streaming service for The Irishman or Narcos or Money Heist etc (at a stretch), but there is no reason for this film to exist whatsoever. 

What is the point of it? It will never make a profit and I doubt people are falling over themselves to sign up to see Damon Wayans Jr sue a dating app because he hasn't found love. 

But then I watched it, so who's the bigger idiot here? Rachael Leigh Cook is still lovely, so there is that. I have seen worse films, but I don't know if I've ever seen a more pointless one.

The Lost Boys

For one reason or another, I had never seen this. Fucking 11/10.

[Jazzy G]

Gave Venom a watch. First ten minutes I k ew I'd hate it. His girlfriend lives in the house from Mrs Doubtfire. It is to the Spider-Man franchise what the Halle Berry Catwoman movie was to the Batman franchise. 

[Mr_Danger]

Nah it’s better than that, it’s probably Tom Hardy’s best awful performance.

[Keith Houchen]

Venom is fucking shite. The voice is just like the dog in an advert where he asks his owner “What Doing”. Think it was a comparison website or something. 
Midsommar - Way too long and even with 45 minutes cut it would still be shite. It’s a no from me, Clive. 

[Mr_Danger]

That’s exactly what that voice is too! I’ll never watch it again but I’ll definitely watch the second for Woody. It harks back to a simpler time when superhero films knew what they were and didn’t all have 26 film story arcs.

[DEF]

Come To Daddy (NowTV) Elijah Wood in a belting little thriller about a chap that visits his estranged father. It's funny and dark as hell. Recommended.

[Hannibal Scorch]

Just noticed Shia LaBeouf‘a double whammy of The Peanut Butter Falcon and Honey Boy are on Netflix and Prime respectively. Any advice on which to watch first?

[Jazzy G]

Also immediately after Venom watched I to The Spider-Verse. I liked it. Was a good story, got the balance of drama and light hearted moments right. Lost my shit when Nicholas Cage turned up as Spider-Man Noir. Apparently they'd wanted to get Maguire, Garfield and Holland in to play some Spider-Men which would have been interesting. I liked the post credits nonsense as well. Funny enough if it's left as a standalone, but also sets up a sequel nicely as well. It'd be interesting to see them getting in people like Christopher Daniel Christopher Barnes, Dan Gilvezan, Ted Schwartz, Neil Patrick Harris etc in to voice some other extended universe Spideys, but would also be interesting to just see a Miles Morales solo Spider-Man movie as well. 

[SuperBacon]

Brick Lane

Very much enjoyed this. I have read the book, but a while ago, so can't be sure how it compared, and I also felt really sorry for the husband, who was a good guy that didn't really do anything wrong, but circumstances meant what happened, happened. Tannishtha Chatterjee in the lead role was fantastic.

Away

This animation about a lad who falls out of a plane and parachutes on to an island, features no dialogue, and some very basic animation (compared to todays standard. I still thought it was great) and is probably one of the best films I've seen this year, and a real throwback in many ways.

Made by one animator, who apparently just made it up as he went along, if you get the chance to see it, do.

Les Miserables

I've seen some very lazy reviews of this, comparing it to La Haine and Do The Right Thing, which does it a massive disservice.

It's a very well paced, tense film that tells the story of the lesser known parts of Paris, with a cracking score, and superb realistic performances and the director, Ladj Ly, is one to watch. Reminded me a tiny bit of Braquo (the most underrated TV series of all time), but that's probably me being lazy as it's French and about the police.

The Captain (Der Hauptmann)

I remember wanting to see this for ages, and due to medication affecting me and general memory loss, I can't actually remember whether I'd seen it or not. That's not because it's shit by the way, it's fucking fantastic.

It tells the story of a young paratrooper who finds a Captains uniform, and assumes his identity as he moves through Germany, picking up stragglers along the way.

Harrowing and dark, it's not one to watch on a Friday night, that's for sure.