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Fatty Facesitter

UKFF Fantasy Booking Classic 2018

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Knowing me, Fatty Facesitter. Knowing you, wrestling fantasists. Aha! 

Though we don’t always like to admit it, we all like a bit of cheeky fantasy booking. We do it virtually every week when the WWE’s top brass and ‘creative’ teams throw us a load of ol’ squit on their TV and PPV events, posting on this board about how we’d do things differently, make things better, etc. 

Years ago I started up a fantasy booking comp and although I’m completely going from memory, it worked out well enough to warrant a second edition a couple of years later. Now, five years on with the wrestling landscape having changed so much since then and combined with the need to cure some of my office boredom, I’m dusting this off the shelf for one more round. 

Previous winners include NEWM in 2011/12, who has since gone on to great things including landing a full-time job at WhatCulture, and Harmonic Generator in 2013, further cementing his legacy and adding to his collection which already included a UKFF Battle Rap gong for his lethal lyricism. I take direct responsibility for all of their success. 

But who will take the 2018 title? And how can you, dear poster, enter? 

Well DJ, strike out the tune baby, because I’m about to show you how to dance. 

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The Proposal 
The comp is contested in a knockout competition format, similar to something like the FA Cup. 32 entrants will be put together and drawn into matches. There will be a first round, round of 16, quarter-final, semi-final and then a final. 

Each match will have a different booking scenario that comes with it. For instance - Fatty Facesitter might be drawn against Slick Dick Nick, and their scenario will be to book a 2018 King of the Ring tournament. An anonymous panel (TBC) will then judge who booked their scenario in the best manner and who will advance into the next phase. 

The Draw
Upon entry you’ll be assigned a number - those numbers will then be added into the fantasy booking fixture computer (names drawn out of a hat) and then put into their respective brackets. In the event of odd numbers, a potential triple threat or a bye can be thrown in. 

Style Points
Goes without saying but we’re looking for things to be as creative as possible. You’ve essentially got free reign. You can book something realistically, go down a comedy route, whatever works for you. The only thing I’d suggest is don’t go too deep in terms of character profiles or making things too dark and murky. We’re not looking for massive back stories on someone like a Bray Wyatt with a troubled past etc. Keep it chirpy, keep it entertaining. 

Can we AVOID WALLS OF TEXT. It’s a massive chore to look at. Throw in pictures to break it up a bit. Shit, if you want to draw stuff on MS Paint and present that, even better. The more colourful the entries the better the chance you have of progression. 

Word Count
1,000 word limit, as per past comps. That should be absolutely plenty for the early rounds - I’ll review it and potentially adjust for the semi’s and the final. No more than that please. Also, remember it’s quality over quantity. If El Nicko Loco submits 200 more words than Fatty Facesitter for his entry, it doesn’t mean he’ll automatically go through. 

The Prize
To be determined depending on how much effort I decide to put in but the winner will get a prize of some sort. Te be determined. 

How To Enter
Simple - To register your interest, post a picture of a sexy wrestling-related photo that is totally and not at all awkward. Like this! 

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Entrants will be updated in the spoiler tags below on the first page. Once we have the entrants confirmed I’ll go into more detail about how to submit posts etc once the first round draw has been made. 

As ever, any suggestions or queries you’d like to throw out there, lay it on me.

Happy booking. 

 

Entries

 

1. tiger_rick

2. air_raid

3. HarmonicGenerator (DEFENDING CHAMPION)

4. AdamTH17

5. Wrasslin

6. bigfoote

7. Joe Blog

8. Mr. Showtime

9. Liam O'Rourke

10. cobra_gordo

11. LaGoosh

12. Supremo

13. TildeGuy~!

14. WeeAl

15. Shy Dad

16. Doctor Whos Next

 

 

 

Edited by Fatty Facesitter

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Good to have you all on board - entrants list updated in the opening post. Will keep it open for another couple of days or so - if we don't quite hit 32 we've still got plenty to run something now which is grand. 

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