Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted July 3, 2013 Paid Members Share Posted July 3, 2013 Cadfael (noun) : A monk with a sexual interest in Terry Thomas. Reusing my old Cadfael material, there. I don't get many chances to be honest.  Fucking hell, that's great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members theironshake Posted July 4, 2013 Paid Members Share Posted July 4, 2013 i used to work with a bloke who always wore the same jumper so he became Paulo One top! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members gmoney Posted July 4, 2013 Paid Members Share Posted July 4, 2013 A guy who was unlucky enough to start going bald at 13 was known as 'Luke' for the rest of our time at school, short for Leukaemia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daaaaaad! Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Mine seem pretty boring in comparison: Â Bisto - allegedly hated gravy, was never corroborated to me but the name definitely stuck Chin-man - girl with large chin Princess Fiona (Shrek's missus) - still a friend of mine, she really does look like her though, apart from not being green. Â Had a teacher called Skellig because he was tall and weird-looking. Other standards included Sweaty Betty for two separate smelly ladies and "That Bloke" for a masculine-looking lady teacher, to whom we would often shout 'Alright mate?' then hide. Apparently the lower school kids used to just call her 'The Rock'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members John Matrix Posted July 22, 2013 Paid Members Share Posted July 22, 2013 Just overheard a cracker in the office. The media team are dealing with reports of a nuisance homeless fella who's been causing aggro in the city centre over the last few weeks. Â I know they guy they're on about, he looks exactly like the tramp from the Inbetweeners and was walking around in a single flip flop during winter. He's alledged to have shat in two different charity shops in the last week, which would explain the nickname One Shoe Poo to perfection. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Astro Hollywood Posted July 22, 2013 Moderators Share Posted July 22, 2013 Just overheard a cracker in the office. The media team are dealing with reports of a nuisance homeless fella who's been causing aggro in the city centre over the last few weeks. I know they guy they're on about, he looks exactly like the tramp from the Inbetweeners and was walking around in a single flip flop during winter. He's alledged to have shat in two different charity shops in the last week, which would explain the nickname One Shoe Poo to perfection.  *horrible and upsetting flashback*  One time in maths, we all went out into the carpark for some reason, and were told to survey registration plates on teachers cars. I stood in the biggest, wettest pile of dog shit you've ever seen, which of course eeeeeeeveryone saw. It was so big, it completely covered the sides of my shoe as well as the sole. Fucking stank, too. Absolutely reeked. Much laughter ensued from everybody, but I walked over to another bit of grass to start trying to scuff it off, and promptly stood my clean shoe in a different, though still absolutely huge, pile of fresh plops.  For about a month, I was known as POO ON THE SHOE. I even had my accompanying theme, or entrance music.  POO ON THE SHOE! OOH! IT'S POO ON THE SHOE! (repeat until tears*)  I've no idea why it just faded away. That's the sort of thing that usually haunts you to the grave.  *there weren't really tears. It was poo -- it was hilarious! I fucking wish that had stayed with me. I'd love to still be known as POO ON THE SHOE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted May 7, 2014 Author Share Posted May 7, 2014 Massive bump to add a lad at work was telling me that they called a girl Dee Dee, which stood for dead dad, because her dad had died. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Danger Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 When I was the master of produce at Sainsbury's I had an after school lad who was painfully slow at everything. He was called Mo so he became Slow Mo. What made this a really great nickname though was that Mo was short for Moshin (pronounced mo-shin)so to give him his full name he was Slow Moshin. He once wore a wolly hat on the shop floor as well because he said it looked cool, what a maverick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Coconut Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 We had a crazylegs disabled in school called Lloyd. He quickly became Mongo Lloyd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Teedy Kay Posted May 8, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted May 8, 2014 We had a lad at school with a head both perfectly round, and perfectly sized to a size 5 football, he was always Mitre Delta Football Head or Mitre for short and nothing but. Â One lad turned up on his very first day (year below me) sat with our lot as we look confused that a year 7 dare sit in our seats on the Bus and uttered sarcastically "My name's Gommo, what's yours?" and from there on in, he was called Gommo ... and he hated it. Â Being in the Police there are some belting nicknames floating about with my favourite being for a young lad you joined up who was no taller than 5'6'', he got the nickname Laptop as he was a small PC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members bAzTNM#1 Posted May 8, 2014 Paid Members Share Posted May 8, 2014 "That Bloke" for a masculine-looking lady teacher, to We had one like that. She was nicknamed "Shug". I didn't call her anything because I know I'd get bitch-slapped. "Shug" was pretty genius for her though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoKonjic Posted May 8, 2014 Share Posted May 8, 2014 Turn Around Tony, after every couple of steps he walked forward he would have to stop and do a 360 spin on the spot then keep going. Â Banana Man is a guy that used to go around topless on his BMX with a bunch of Bananas. He's recently lost a leg. Â Gambowl Joe is a 60 year old guy that gets pissed and does Gambowls down the street. All fun and games at night, but he emptys bins for the council, and to see him struggling to walk at 6am was quite sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted May 8, 2014 Author Share Posted May 8, 2014 Isn't Banana Man called JR? When I lived in the flats in Hillfields, everyone knew him. There was a thread on here about local characters and without wanting to steer towards that, do you remember The Keymaster? He used to drive around Cov city centre on his mobilised scooter with a sandwich board that had stuff like the Irish were the new Nazis written on there. Â He'd stop outside the Godiva clock, stand up and hold his keys skyward for about 10 minutes at al time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoKonjic Posted May 8, 2014 Share Posted May 8, 2014 That's the guy, just asked a guy I work with about him. Turns out he's lost both legs now . Â I was a dirty Goth from 2002-2005 so always hung around the Godiva, I remember an old guy on a scooter, he used to chase people around while making Road Runner sounds. Never witnessed his Keymaster ways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted May 8, 2014 Author Share Posted May 8, 2014 I probably saw you down the dog, Mo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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