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Nicknames From Childhood And Beyond


Keith Houchen

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I went to school with someone known as "Mick Piss". He was called Mick and he stank of piss.

 

Giro John would always badger you for a pint and he said he would pay you back on giro day. He never did. He also was paid to do disgusting things, like drink his own sick for a fiver, like a tramp Jackass. He died of liver failure.

 

Wetfoot had an overgrown garden and if you went near his house, he'd come at you with a gun.

 

The Laughing Cavalier was this grumpy bastard who drove a Vauxhall Cavalier.

 

This isn't about local "Characters", but about nicknames and how they came about. The more childish the better.

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It's not in any way puerile enough for this thread and is sickeningly posh, but my dad went to boarding school with Howard Goodall (musician who wrote the themes for Red Dwarf and Blackadder, among others), and recently revealed that they nicknamed him "Flossie" due to his luxurious blonde locks.

 

So there you go, a rubbish one so all the others look better. I'm kind like that.

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I went to school with a lad who still gets called Ishio Baggio (he's 27 now). His nickname progressed throughout school starting with his real name: Dane->Danish->Ish->Ishio->Ishio Baggio. The Baggio part came from the fact that whenever we played Wembley Pairs or International and he got the ball, he'd just keep calling out Baggio's name Peter Brackley style whilst he skinned everyone before inevitably getting two footed for being a cocky little twat.

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I went to school with someone known as "Mick Piss". He was called Mick and he stank of piss.

 

Giro John would always badger you for a pint and he said he would pay you back on giro day. He never did. He also was paid to do disgusting things, like drink his own sick for a fiver, like a tramp Jackass. He died of liver failure.

 

Wetfoot had an overgrown garden and if you went near his house, he'd come at you with a gun.

 

The Laughing Cavalier was this grumpy bastard who drove a Vauxhall Cavalier.

 

This isn't about local "Characters", but about nicknames and how they came about. The more childish the better.

 

The Legend of Wetfoot was he drowned his missus in a pond in the back garden, there wasnt even a pond there. I had a dream about wetfoot the other night- swear on my life. When i was a nipper me and my brothers used to rat-a-tat the shit out of him and throw bangers at his house on fireworks night.

Giro john also gave me a legger for putting itching powder down his back. He let me and my mate do it then next time he seen us he was fuming. Rumour has it he was very intelligent, probably and urban legend.

I worked in a social club for 5 yrs and i find they are the best place for nick names....dave no teeth for example.

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At Secondary school, we had a really ugly Spanish teacher who was German but we thought looked Russian and gave her the nickname 'The Gremlin From The Kremlin'.

 

There was a new kid who started when we moved up to year 8 who everyone called 'Bum-Gull" because of a rumour that he got expelled from his last school for bumming a seagull.

 

Freshers week at uni I got talking to someone and when I asked his name he dropped his wallet and said "ah bollocks!", so the name 'Bollocks' stuck for the next three years

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I went to school with someone known as "Mick Piss". He was called Mick and he stank of piss.

 

Giro John would always badger you for a pint and he said he would pay you back on giro day. He never did. He also was paid to do disgusting things, like drink his own sick for a fiver, like a tramp Jackass. He died of liver failure.

 

Wetfoot had an overgrown garden and if you went near his house, he'd come at you with a gun.

 

The Laughing Cavalier was this grumpy bastard who drove a Vauxhall Cavalier.

 

This isn't about local "Characters", but about nicknames and how they came about. The more childish the better.

 

The Legend of Wetfoot was he drowned his missus in a pond in the back garden, there wasnt even a pond there. I had a dream about wetfoot the other night- swear on my life. When i was a nipper me and my brothers used to rat-a-tat the shit out of him and throw bangers at his house on fireworks night.

Giro john also gave me a legger for putting itching powder down his back. He let me and my mate do it then next time he seen us he was fuming. Rumour has it he was very intelligent, probably and urban legend.

I worked in a social club for 5 yrs and i find they are the best place for nick names....dave no teeth for example.

Oh yeah, forgot he drowned his wife in the invisible pond. I was in CTK last weekend. Memories.

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In our class most had a mad nickname. Blockhead for a lad with a square head. Even though he didnt really have much of a square head. He had Ian Woan hair, so that gave definition to his head shape. There was a kid with glasses on who we all called Goiter. There was one lad who came from another school who we all openly called Smack Head. He used to walk past and we'd say "alright Smack Head" and he'd be off on his merry way. There was this lad in our year who was pretty puffy around the mouth region and we'd call him "Kipper Lips". You see these nicknames lasted from the first year all the way to the fifth, so you just accepted it and learned to live with it. It was a harsh school.

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My favourite nickname ever was one we gave to our Geography teacher at school, The Beef. The nickname was based on a very vague memory that one of our mates had of a character from a short-lived 1980s cartoon series called Galaxy High. This was the mid to late nineties and you couldn't just tap the words 'Beef Galaxy High' into Google back then to pull up this...

 

beef_steam_didtomyrod.jpg

 

We didn't have that luxury. Instead the lad that remembered the cartoon just had to convince us all that there was a striking resemblance between our Head of Geography and this cartoon space chicken called 'Beef'. It was pretty ludicrous but we ran with it. The name fit. Pretty soon our entire year came to know him as 'The Beef' without ever questioning the origins of it.

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Does anyone else know a Tammy Tampax? Not only is she still called that by everyone, but she looks like Tony Green.

 

Also, my dad's got a mate called "18 months" because he's only got one and a half ears.

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