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Nicknames From Childhood And Beyond

Keith Houchen

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When I was a young there was a guy who I knew whose double barrelled name was Barry (something or other)-Sweet. As the artificial sweetener Sweetex was popular at the time this became his nickname. Unfortunately for him this quickly changed to Tampax and the poor bastard ended up being called Barry the Fanny Pad!


In my sixth year at school the collective sense of humour was brutal. There was a really ugly guy (and it takes something for even me to say that) who was called the Elephant Man. Another guy who had a tiny burn scar on his head was, naturally, named Simon Weston. Anyway I got into a fight with the Elephant Man and he won with the most beautiful left hook that I never saw coming. Fair play to him and I shook his hand; despite my nose spewing blood everywhere. Best of all was that this incident gave everyone a reason to boast that in the same year we had the Elephant Man, Simon Weston and me; the Boy David. Kids are cruel bastards. Funny though.


I am called either Shug, Shuggy, Hugh or Hughie. I used to not really mind but the older I get; especially if it is a professional capacity, I have began to resent people assuming they can call me by any other name if I introduce myself as Hugh.

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