Nicknames From Childhood And Beyond

[Chest Rockwell]

"lumbered"?? Pah. You clearly didn't deserve to be Macho Man!

[John Matrix]

Ah, the guy was a prick.

 

...not Savage.

 

Seriously though, this Boss Man was an absolute ringer, so much so i text my mate the day i heard of Boss Man's death asking if his Dad was alright.

[Lion_of_the_Midlands]

A few teacher nicknames

 

Chisholm, was what we called the Headmaster because of his resemblance to the cop of the same name in Minder.

 

Percy The Penguin. Tall thin geography teacher who walked with his feet pointing to 10 and 2

 

Sarge, mainly a history teacher who also taught a bit of PE. Was in the TA and was a fitness enthusiast.

 

Underage An English teacher fresh out of college who came to the school when we were in the 6th form. On a trip to the Theatre Royal at Nottingam he was refused service by the bar staff, and I had to buy him a pint.

 

Goodness, my form teacher. You know how people have verbal tics, words they repeat when they speak well His was Goodness. We used to have a bet each day how many times he would say it during the form period, 20p got you a guess, closest to the number won the money.

[Richie Freebird]

There

[mikey]

My friend Peter once brought a porn mag into school and it fell out of his bag, earning him the nickname Blue Peter. It replaced his previous nickname. He had big rosy cheeks and dark eye lashes like he was wearing mascara so some called him Teddy Bear.

[deathrey]

My RE teacher in high school, Mr Burns, looked the spitting image of Ned Flanders from The Simpson's so we called him Ned, though he would get a whole host of Simpson's related jib as he was Mr Burns. He took it all in good humour and regularly used to put on videos of Simpson's episodes in class if we got through the work quickly.

 

We also had a teacher that everyone called sheepshagger, he was actually a really great teacher and a good laugh. If someone said middle aged nerd to you, the image that conjures up in your head? That's sheepshagger, skinny, wearing glasses, shares Roy Cropper's wardrobe. Every lunchtime he would leave the school premises to go for a walk - I later found out this was because he had really bad arthritis in his knees and had been told by his doctor to go walking every day - rumour around school was that this was when he went to find his next sheepy victim, kids would follow him, make baaing noises when he walked past and were generally quite nasty to him outside of lesson time. He retired last year, a friend of mine who is now a teacher at my old high school said students still knew him as sheepshagger till the day he retired.

 

Some of the outlandish rumours we made up about our teachers are completely ludicrous on reflection, but as a teenager, I never questioned any of them and assumed they were the gospel truth.

[HarmonicGenerator]

The ones at my school were either really boring ('Boydy' for someone surnamed Boyd, 'Askey' for Asquith, and so on) and completely nonsensical (I never found out why 'Chocka' was called that, and stopped wondering after a while).

 

There was one guy who got a couple - first he was Fawlty because his surname was Towers, and then for a short while he was The Judderman because he resembled that Jack Frost-y figure from a vodka advert (I want to say Metz?).

 

 

The best teacher related one I can remember is probably for a supply teacher we called Fag Ash Fran because she whiffed of cigarettes.

[NorthSeaTiger]

I got called Nobby all the way through high school. Gimme 5 with Gaz Top had a sheep called Nobby... And when my family moved from Paisley up here to Aberdeenshire my friends scribbled Nobby on my bag as a way of laughing at the " sheepshaggers... Folk just thought it was my nickname and so it stuck.

[garynysmon]

A few teacher nicknames from my old school.

 

Womble (well, she looked like a womble). I'm even struggling to remember her real name.

Our chemistry teacher, Spitfire, had an awful habit of spraying it rather than saying it.

Kev Sex was a well known pervert who masqueraded as an IT teacher.

Less savoury, the only non-white girl in the school was affectionately known as 'Golliwog'.

 

My favourite is not from my old school but neighbouring Ysgol Llangefni. They had a teacher called John Bum.

[Stinky Dad]

We had a few in High school -

 

Mr Illingsworth was a history teacher who was nicknamed 'ballbag' as it was alleged he rested his bollocks on the desk when he was talking to the class. I never had any conclusive proof of this.

 

A very big lad who was nicknamed 'Gutsy.' He used to wear a bin bag under his PE kit when we played footy or basketball to make him sweat more ina bid to lose weight. The poor fella fell off a balcony in Spain a few years ago and subsequently died.

 

Then there was 'chubby.' A lad who wasn't large in the slightest but in primary school had been a little bit bigger so the name stood.

 

We had 'Mustard' who had brown teeth.

 

'The Mole' had a massive birthmark on his face.

 

'Moley' looked like a mole.

 

'Froggy' looked like a frog.

 

'Alvin' looked like Simon from the Chipmunks so fuck knows why he got Alvin!

 

'Debbie the Dog' was one of those girls that every school had who had allegedly put jam on her gash on got her dog to lick it off. God knows if it was true but if it was then god knows why she would tell any one in school!

 

Speaking of dogs there was a drunk who lived in the flats near us who we christened 'Ringpiece' and we'd call him that whenever we saw him. He was a drunk and a window cleaner and ex burglar. He readily admitted that to my mum one time. Anyway the reason the ringpiece name came about was cos he had a dog called Mike who blatantly looked like it had a shaved arse.

 

'The Drunkie' was another local vagabond who was a proper mystery. When we were about 11/12 we were scared shitless of the guy. He again lived in the local flats and would walk the streets fucked out of his head drawing shapes on walls and fences with a stone. When he saw the kids he used to chase us and we'd literally run for our lives. The mad bastard.

 

Anyone that knows St Helens (about 15 mins from me) will know the local legend of 'Johnny Wellies.' In fact here's his FB page - https://www.facebook.com/johnny.wellies.9?fref=ts . He is a bit of a local celeb. He wanders around the town in his big overcoat and wellington boots stinking of piss and carrying a mysterious object in a Morrisons plastic bag. He'd swear at any one who wanders past him. The legend behind the man is that he inherited a shitload of money but decided to live on the streets and keep his fortune. It has also been said he owned some church in the town centre. I think it's all bollocks. He's just a piss stained nutjob.

[HarmonicGenerator]

'Moley' looked like a mole.

 

I was 'Moley' for a couple of years in middle school

 

 

Here's the Judderman for those who don't remember. Also, I have had to look up 'Cadfael' after reading this thread because I either have no recollection or have never heard of it.

 

[John Matrix]

I was 'Moley' for a couple of years in middle school

 

I was "Splinter". Fortunately, i grew into a rather handsome bastard.

[Loki]

The lads from Watford that I did a lot of music/drugs with in my 20s all had excellent nicknames.

 

Chalke was black.

Longers had reputedly a massive dick. The Long Brother, Longers for short.

Frosty, not sure why he was called that but he was 6 foot 5, black and a drug dealer so he could have any nickname he wanted.

Bukem, cos his name was Dan, Bookem Danno, and then just Bukem.

Squeak was a fantastic scratch DJ.

Manta which was short for Mantovani because he was a classically trained musician.

And I was Loki Not really sure how that came about either.

[Scott Malbranque]

Mates :

Lassoo Linders - John Linders.

Huge cock. Call him Lassie to this day.

 

Fudge - Paul Fulham.

Cut his finger off in Metalwork in school and I sang 'A Finger of Fudge is just enough to give Fulham a treat' while he waited on the ambulance and it stuck to this day.

 

Mouth - Jody Smith (Rick Norton from the TWC Forums).

My best mate. Because he's very quiet, polite and doesn't say anything unless he has to.

 

Rhino - Gary Reinhardt.

Reinhardt, Rhino. Easy

 

Zippy - Aidan Kenny.

My mate who looks like Zippy from Rainbow. Stuck since school.

 

Spliff - Lisa Fogarty.

Puked after smoking a joint aged 14. Stuck. Even the parents call her Spliff.

 

Me :

McFly - Coz I never think before I say. Long story.

[PowerButchi]

DAVID LAING THE COCKEYED SPANG!!!!!