Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted November 2, 2012 Author Awards Moderator Share Posted November 2, 2012 (edited) We could all see this entry coming. Let's just get it out of the way... Â Â Â DISCLAIMER: All views and opinions within the Twatlist are just that; views and opinions. No views within the Twatlist are my own. I love everybody. Especially celebrities . Well, except this one. No for this one if there's any truth to the allegations. At all. Regardless, views and opinions, etc. Â Â Â Â 16 Jimmy Savile (New entry) Â Â Â Â What's he famous for? You know what. Â Â And you think he's a twat because... You know why. But let's hear from some voters anyway. Â stumobir (voted #5): "What pisses me off about this cretin is how he [allegedly!] hid in plain sight. If there was ever a man that looked like a dirty, child-molesting creep it was him." Â PSF (voted #2): "No smoke without [alleged!] fire. Creepy twat!" Â seph (voted #1): "It's easy to destroy someone's reputation when he's not around anymore, but should there be any truth in the volume of accusations, then this puts Gary Glitter's proclivities in the shade... This - again, if it's true - is someone who farmed, not groomed, a hive of ruined lives and built a network of silence to hide it." Â Not a lot you can say, really. Moving on... Â Â Twat Watch! Just stick the news on tonight, he'll be on it at some point. Â Â And we're obliged to ask... does he have shit on the market? I'm not bloody looking. Â Â Twat Stat! Savile is the only deceased celebrity on the 2012 Twatlist, and only the third in Twatlist history (both Jade Goody and Princess Diana made the 2009 list). Â Â Was he voted Top Twat? By multiple voters... Â Â And so to summarise, Jimmy Savile is worse than: Bad, bad things. I don't know. I don't really want to compare the allegations of what he may have done to anything else. Sorry, that's not very funny or anything, but... yeah. Edited November 2, 2012 by HarmonicGenerator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Nick James Posted November 2, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted November 2, 2012 Top work again Harmonic. These Twat Lists are brilliant and one of the highlights of the working day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted November 2, 2012 Author Awards Moderator Share Posted November 2, 2012 (edited) DISCLAIMER: All views and opinions within the Twatlist are just that; views and opinions. No views within the Twatlist are my own. I love everybody. Especially celebrities     15 Jeremy Kyle (2011 ranking: 24. Up 9)     What's he famous for? Shouting at chavs, providing entertainment for lazy, lazy students, keeping the DNA testing industry afloat.   And you think he's a twat because... "Why the fuck is he still on air?" wonders Mike Castle (voted #6). "Such an arrogant and worthless piece of shit." But for Mike, Kyle's twattishness is personal. He shares that "my sister somehow looks up to the twat talking about how he 'only wants to help people'. No wonder she's unable to use logic if that's all she wants for a role model." Sorry, Mike and your sister.  "Becoming a catchphrase machine of 'use contraception' and 'get a job' surely means you are a twat," argues jimufctna24 (voted #3). The Suspended Natural (voted #5) calls him "a smug prick who needs slapping down." Maybe on November 9th. Sorry, Natural.  Finally, smp (voted #2): "The human bear baiting twat should be chucked in a landfill, and buried beneath a mountain of DNA test results." Sorry, landfill.   Twat Facts! Did you know that Jeremy Kyle used to sell life insurance? Or that he has OCD and has stated that he 'licks his mobile phone to make sure it's clean'? Or that he chaired a part of the 2010 Conservative Party Conference alongside fellow Twatlist member George Osborne? Thanks, Wikipedia!   And we're obliged to ask... does he have shit on the market? A book or two, not much else that I'm prepared to explore.   Twat Stat! Kyle made a significant climb up the rankings this year, cracking the top 20 twats. But he's not the biggest climber on the list...  Also, Kyle is the third of today's twats to have been nominated by Burchill's Buddy! He didn't submit any rants with his votes, but he clearly knows his twats.   Was he voted Top Twat? He wasn't.   And so to summarise, Jeremy Kyle is worse than: Disreputable payday loan companies. Edited November 2, 2012 by HarmonicGenerator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted November 2, 2012 Author Awards Moderator Share Posted November 2, 2012 (edited) And there's your five! You'll get two more twats tomorrow, and two more again on Sunday, which will mean we're all ready to start with the top 10 twats on Monday. Â Who will we see in the 14-11 spots? Or in the top 10? Well, it won't be any of this lot, because here's another pile who didn't make the list: Â Â Â Â Rylan Clark! Â Â ("Never before have I wanted to actually hit someone in the face with a hammer as much as I do to you" Edited November 2, 2012 by HarmonicGenerator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PSF Posted November 2, 2012 Share Posted November 2, 2012 Another Miranda Hart twat fact is, that their actually turning her Sitcom into a Movie! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Nexus Posted November 2, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted November 2, 2012 Gutted Michael Gove missed out, the guy is a cunt of the highest order, and he's fucking clueless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Astro Hollywood Posted November 2, 2012 Moderators Share Posted November 2, 2012 Nobody seems to remember the News of the World story about Jeremy Kyle where he, when he was 35, became infatuated with a 16-year-old girl, which included the brilliant request to her when she was sat in his car of "massage my balls." Once you've heard that, his pious act on TV takes on another tone entirely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Up Chuck Posted November 2, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted November 2, 2012 Gutted Michael Gove missed out, the guy is a cunt of the highest order, and he's fucking clueless. Â Unite with me brother. HG, were we the only two to vote for him? Â Â Nobody seems to remember the News of the World story about Jeremy Kyle where he, when he was 35, became infatuated with a 16-year-old girl, which included the brilliant request to her when she was sat in his car of "massage my balls." Once you've heard that, his pious act on TV takes on another tone entirely. Â I hadn't heard this before, but it doesn't surprise me. His rightwing moral-high-ground act always seemed to be a veneer to something even more malicious, I just wasn't sure what. Â And Air Raid, that's a superb writeup of EL James. Probably the best of the whole list so far. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted November 2, 2012 Author Awards Moderator Share Posted November 2, 2012 (edited) Gutted Michael Gove missed out, the guy is a cunt of the highest order, and he's fucking clueless. Â Unite with me brother. HG, were we the only two to vote for him? Â Â You were. I think we had more politicians nominated this time than on either of the previous occasions, from the ones who've made the list right down to those who got a single 1-point vote. Â EDIT: Turns out you weren't. He got two votes, anyway. Edited November 2, 2012 by HarmonicGenerator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators neil Posted November 2, 2012 Moderators Share Posted November 2, 2012 "Well hello to you dear browser. Now I have your attention it would be rude if I didn't tell you a little about my literary feast. So, here is the thing: is it just me or does anyone else find that adulthood offers no refuge from the unexpected horrors, peculiar lack of physical coordination and sometimes unexplained nudity, that accompanied childhood and adolescence? Urgh, I hate this woman. Painfully unfunny, "OOOOO I LOVE CHOCOLATE ME" lolololololol. Â I also hate the whole use of language in the above quote. I find so many tossers are like that on british tv these days. Word salad. Just using words for the sake of blabbing on about something. Watch any TV show presented by some trendy looking cunt and see how they throw out about 3 times as many words as it would take to just say it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Up Chuck Posted November 2, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted November 2, 2012 (edited) I think we had more politicians nominated this time than on either of the previous occasions, from the ones who've made the list right down to those who got a single 1-point vote. Â Not surprising. Since the expenses stuff they seem to have become a lot more publicly noticeable, and thus, everyone's noticing that they're almost universally awful people. I do kind of regret loading mine so full of them (however justified it might be), because it meant I left out awful pricks like Jeremy Kyle, but it looks like everybody had that covered. Â This is panning out nicely, anyway. I'm very confident that either my number 1 or 2 will crack the top 5, and that both should make the top 10. Â EDIT: Just realised that, in fact, I didn't put Michael Gove on my list, and that I've confused him with Jeremy Hunt. I need to get my rightwing fuckwits sorted. Edited November 2, 2012 by opcws Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members air_raid Posted November 2, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted November 2, 2012 (edited) Kelly Brook! Â niff again? Â And Air Raid, that's a superb writeup of EL James. Probably the best of the whole list so far. Â Cheers pal, although honestly the top reasons for hating that book are actually (a) the awkward position I'm currently in, that since reading 50 Shades my mate's girlfriend of 9 years has realized she is sexually unfulfilled and fancies an affair. With me. Trying to pretend I don't know at the minute. And (b) one morning I walked into the living room to find my mother reading it. I genuinely nearly threw up. Â Having read all three, mother informs me they are "complete rubbish." Â EDIT - something I forgot to put in my initial write-up was that the book started life as Twilight fanfiction. How fitting. Edited November 2, 2012 by air_raid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members PunkStep Posted November 2, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted November 2, 2012 Fuck you all for not uniting with me in hating David Guetta. Carbomb, you let me down, bro. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted November 2, 2012 Author Awards Moderator Share Posted November 2, 2012 (edited) EDIT - something I forgot to put in my initial write-up was that the book started life as Twilight fanfiction. How fitting. Â You actually did put that in your write-up... I used my editorial jurisdiction to focus on the most direct ranty bits and so that part got trimmed. Sorry. Edited November 2, 2012 by HarmonicGenerator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Nexus Posted November 2, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted November 2, 2012 Also gutted my rant on Gove got cut. Â As a trainee teacher/NQT, he's managed to single handedly make me regret my decision to begin teaching. Because he's a cunt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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