Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted October 31, 2011 Awards Moderator Share Posted October 31, 2011 (Homer trying to play Lisa's sax, to the tune of Beethoven's 5th symphony) Â Saxamaphone... Saxamaphone... Â Â - Â Â Mr. Burns: Remember, your job depends on your successful completion of Nuclear Physics 101. Oh, and one more thing... (ominously) You must find the Jade Monkey before the next full moon. Â Smithers: Actually, sir, we found the Jade Monkey. It was in your glove compartment. Â Mr. Burns: And the road maps, and ice scraper? Â Smithers: They were in there, too, sir. Â Mr. Burns: Excellent! It's all falling into place... Â Â - Â Â Crowd: We need a cure! We need a cure! Â Dr. Hibbert: Why, the only cure is bed rest. Anything I give you would only be a placebo. Â Woman: Where do we get these placebos? Â Man: Maybe there's some in this truck! Â (the crowd push over a truck, and boxes labelled "DANGER: KILLER BEES" break open. The bees go everywhere and everyone panics. One man puts a bee in his mouth) Â Man: I'm cured! I mean, ouch! Â Â - Â Â Bart: Hey, G. I. Joe, your sign's broken. We're already in Australia. Â Marine: Actually, Sir, the embassy is considered American soil, Sir! Â Homer: Really? Look, boy, now I'm in Australia... (hops over the line) Now I'm in America...Australia! America! Â Bart: I get it, Dad. Â Homer: Australia! America! Â Marge: Homer, that's enough! Â Homer: Australia! America! Â (the Marine punches him in the face) Â Marine: Here in America we don't tolerate that kind of crap, Sir! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Au Posted November 1, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 1, 2011 Eddie: That sounded like an explosion at the old Simpson place. Wiggum: Forget it, that's two blocks away. Eddie: Looks like there's beer coming out of the chimney! Wiggum: I'm proceeding on foot! Call in a code 8! Eddie: We need pretzels. Repeat, pretzels. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted November 1, 2011 Awards Moderator Share Posted November 1, 2011 (edited) All from the 'Fear Of Flying' episode: Â Â Â Marge: Everybody's afraid of something. Â Homer: (smugly) Not everybody. Â Marge: Sock puppets. Â Homer: (shrieking in terror) Where? Where? Â Â - Â Â "I wanna shake off the dust of this one-horse town. I wanna explore the world. I wanna watch TV in a different time zone. I wanna visit strange, exotic malls. I'm sick of eating hoagies. I want a grinder, a sub, a foot long hero. I want to LIVE, Marge. Won't you let me live? Won't you, please?" Â Â - Â Â Homer: This is it. The last bar in Springfield. If they don't let me in, I'll have to quit drinking. Â Homer's Liver: YAY. Â Homer: Shut up, liver... Â Â - Â Â (Homer in a lesbian bar) Â Homer: Wait a minute... there's something bothering me about this place... I know! This lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit! Enjoy your death trap, ladies! Â Woman: What was her problem? Edited November 1, 2011 by HarmonicGenerator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V1mark Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 'Wait a minute, that sounds like rock and/or roll.' Rev. Lovejoy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted November 1, 2011 Awards Moderator Share Posted November 1, 2011 "'Tis a fine barn, but sure 'tis no pool, English." Â "D'oh-eth!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Power Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 "Troy McClure? I thought you said he was dead?" Â "No, I said he sleeps with the fishes" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Your Fight Site Posted November 2, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 2, 2011 Looking through the last couple of pages of this thread, it's amazing that no one seems to know the definition of a one-liner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Au Posted November 2, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 2, 2011 Sometimes a one liner needs the set-up though. Â For the last one I posted, I was eating pretzels and that line popped into my head but it really doesn't make sense without the scene setting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Power Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 To be fair, a lot of the one-liners have surely been exhausted. I can't think of many more off the top of my head. I even trawled through wikiquote like a sad bastard the other day. Â "That was more of a burgundy" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted November 2, 2011 Awards Moderator Share Posted November 2, 2011 (edited) If Family Guy PMSL had the ability to alter 'One-Liner' in the thread title to 'Quotes' then that would probably be preferable. But I think he might have been banned since then? Edited November 2, 2011 by HarmonicGenerator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Foale Posted November 2, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 2, 2011 Looking through the last couple of pages of this thread, it's amazing that no one seems to know the definition of a one-liner. Â Don't be a kill-joy, just contribute! It's all funny stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Chris B Posted November 2, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 2, 2011 I know that I'd much rather see accurate one-liners than funny quotes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Statto Posted November 2, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 2, 2011 "Troy McClure? I thought you said he was dead?"Â "No, I said he sleeps with the fishes" Â MacArthur Parker, the agent? MacArthur Parker, MY agent? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Power Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 "The jokes on you, you just shot your own mustard" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted November 2, 2011 Awards Moderator Share Posted November 2, 2011 "Troy McClure? I thought you said he was dead?"Â "No, I said he sleeps with the fishes" Â MacArthur Parker, the agent? MacArthur Parker, MY agent? Â I love legitimate thee-atre... Â Â Down in front! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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