Primary School was Awful

[Surf Digby]

2 hours ago, TheBurningRed said:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DFvOHoFsai2/?igsh=MXQwZWdiY2RyenkwOQ==
 

I reckon whoever started this event saw this thread. 

5/10

Not one person in that video had substituted "Hosanna" to "Banana".

[Briefcase]

I really cherished Primary School and loved my time there with no major issues or problems. My best friend was also the toughest/fat kid in our year which probably also helped!

I think the only worrying thing looking back (not sure if schools can get away with it these days) is tracing paper being used as toilet roll and having to do PE in your underpants if you didn't have your PE Uniform.

Also I remember in my first primary school having to stand outside in the cold as punishment when I swore, not sure schools would get away with that these days but on the otherhand seeing and hearing what kids get up too these days in hindsight it probably wasn't that bad a punishment. 

 

 

[SuperBacon]

Couldn't really think of anywhere else to put this and sorry for it being a bit WHOOOOOO REMEMBERS??? but I'm intrigued.

Wembley or Wembley doubles where we were.

[gmoney]

World Cup Willy in Worcester Park/Sutton. 

Edited March 25, 2025 by gmoney

[Lion_of_the_Midlands]

Wembley obviously, but when we played you were only allowed to score with a header or a volley, nothing else counted. 

[SuperBacon]

12 minutes ago, gmoney said:

World Cup Willy in Worcester Park/Sutton. 

Always knew that area was full of wronguns

edit: @Lion_of_the_Midlands that was a separate game for us called imaginatively Headers and Volleys

Edited March 25, 2025 by SuperBacon
Garlic bread?

[Chili]

1 hour ago, SuperBacon said:

Couldn't really think of anywhere else to put this and sorry for it being a bit WHOOOOOO REMEMBERS??? but I'm intrigued.

Wembley or Wembley doubles where we were.

Same in Warrington as with Wembley Doubles. Fascinated how the phrases travel.

[Mr_Danger]

North Wales we called it finals. There was also heads and volleys, a version of heads and volleys where you had six lives and if you missed you lost a life and if the keeper catches the ball you were in goal. This culminated in a penalty shootout between the last two with the number of pens you had equal to your lives. This did not encourage fair play. Then we had Lamppost or lampy where you would have one touch to hit the lamppost to get through to the next round culminating in a penalty shootout where you had to hit the lamppost. 

[SuperBacon]

2 minutes ago, Mr_Danger said:

There was also heads and volleys, a version of heads and volleys where you had six lives and if you missed you lost a life and if the keeper catches the ball you were in goal. This culminated in a penalty shootout between the last two with the number of pens you had equal to your lives. This did not encourage fair play. 

We had the lives as well and the losers had to line up against the wall facing it, with the winner getting to leather the ball at them. We called this Red Arse.

I've just asked in another group chat, and one lad said they called it Bummies! ?

[FLips]

I can’t remember the exact rules of either game but we had two fairly similar ones; Heads and Volleys and Dog’s Dick.

[Statto]

Around these parts we call it "King of the Cup", and it didn't get left in primary school:

https://www.edp24.co.uk/news/21089119.photo-gallery-norfolk-men-battling-king-cup-two-decades/

Only article I can find that isn't totally paywalled is over a decade old, but this is very much still a thing - if anything, it's grown (now includes a Junior competition, traders set up stalls for the day etc

[Lorne Malvo]

I genuinely thought it was called cuppies everywhere. I had no idea it was the footballing equivalent of 'bap or cob'.

[Mr_Danger]

21 minutes ago, SuperBacon said:

We had the lives as well and the losers had to line up against the wall facing it, with the winner getting to leather the ball at them. We called this Red Arse.

I've just asked in another group chat, and one lad said they called it Bummies! ?

Yeah, heads and volleys and sixers are basically the same game with slight variations. Often ended in a game of Raw Arse. 
 

We also had Shooters where opposing goalies would take shots at eachother from there own half but weren’t allowed to handle the ball. Only really worked on the smaller 5 a side pitch.

A highlight of heads and volleys was when my mate Anthony tried to sweet chin music the goal which was a boarded up retail outlet door and he slipped and grazed the entire half of his face. Laughter before sympathy was served heartily.

[The King of Old School]

1 hour ago, SuperBacon said:

Couldn't really think of anywhere else to put this and sorry for it being a bit WHOOOOOO REMEMBERS??? but I'm intrigued.

Wembley or Wembley doubles where we were.

A dreadful game.

Made the mistake a couple of times of scoring too early and then just sitting there for ages doing nothing while the not so good players tried to get through.

Ended up having to miss on purpose at times just to stay in until the end, then turn it up when it got down to the last few.

Folk used to love it at my school though, much preferred playing a match.

[TibBo]

16 minutes ago, The King of Old School said:

A dreadful game.

Made the mistake a couple of times of scoring too early and then just sitting there for ages doing nothing while the not so good players tried to get through.

Going through first gave you the opportunity to chat-up the group of girls sat dangerously behind the goal reading Smash Hits.  Stopping the ball from hitting them in the face pretty-much guaranteed you a girlfriend for the next week.

It was called World Cup or Wembley here.  We had world Cup Doubles occasionally too, where you teamed-up with a partner, who usually either couldn't kick straight or was a selfish bastard who never passed the ball.