Primary School was Awful

[SuperBacon]

1 hour ago, Statto said:

Around these parts we call it "King of the Cup", and it didn't get left in primary school:

Oh yeah it carried on into secondary but I wasn't creating a thread just for that.

Although in secondary we had to play with a tennis ball as football was banned in the playground. 

[cobra_gordo]

18 minutes ago, SuperBacon said:

Although in secondary we had to play with a tennis ball as football was banned in the playground. 

Tenuous link but when I was at comp football wasn't banned for us until the start of year 8 following an incident where a mate of mine kicked a ball across the yard, his shoe flew off as he hit it, ball went through one of the science block windows and his shoe ended up on the roof.

[TheBurningRed]

We called it Wembley and Wembley Doubles. No shooting allowed in the six yard box. Only headers allowed which obviously comes into play during doubles unless you try and kick it up and header it in. Can’t remember if volleys were allowed in the six yard box. 

Edited March 25, 2025 by TheBurningRed

[Statto]

1 hour ago, SuperBacon said:

Oh yeah it carried on into secondary but I wasn't creating a thread just for that.

This has carried on well into the 40 for some competitors though! Although the new generation in their 20s tend to win... 

[SuperBacon]

1 hour ago, cobra_gordo said:

Tenuous link but when I was at comp football wasn't banned for us until the start of year 8 following an incident where a mate of mine kicked a ball across the yard, his shoe flew off as he hit it, ball went through one of the science block windows and his shoe ended up on the roof.

This has just (sort of) reminded me that the worst thing I ever saw at secondary school was someone dashing a 2p coin across the playground and it hitting a lad in year 7 flush on the mouth breaking his two front tooth and blood pissing everywhere. 

Absolute carnage.

[MungoChutney]

We called it 'One-and-off', but usually each round added another goal before you were through. We also had 'One-and-in', which never stopped and whoever scored went in goals until they conceded one and so on. We also had 'Doubles", which was teams of two playing one-and-off. 

[SuperBacon]

2 minutes ago, MungoChutney said:

We also had 'One-and-in',

Always the worst variation as no one liked going in goal. 

[air_raid]

At least primary school was where we first started wrestling. My mate Chris decided a gutwrench piledriver would be a great move, but instead of "head between the legs" he'd just drop them to the side in exactly the position they were elevated as he sat down, a bit like Musawa's Emerald Frozen. Surprised he didn't kill someone.

[gmoney]

12 minutes ago, SuperBacon said:

Always the worst variation as no one liked going in goal. 

Yeah it was always three and in in my day. 

"Nuts" was a game played with an empty plastic bottle where if you nutmegged someone with it everyone beat the shit out of them. Didn't play that often. 

[Mr_Danger]

Anyone else convinced they invented football tennis with their mates in the 90’s?

[TheHighlightReel]

4 hours ago, SuperBacon said:

Always the worst variation as no one liked going in goal. 

Surely the reason ‘rush goalie’ was invented for most games.

[SuperBacon]

39 minutes ago, Mr_Danger said:

Anyone else convinced they invented football tennis with their mates in the 90’s?

Huge at our school was patball. You'd play with your hands, with a tennis ball against a wall. Normal ish tennis rules, you'd have to hit the ball with your hand with a bounce before it hit the wall and if it bounced twice before you hit it you lose a point.

We also had chuck. Two teams either side of a netball court and the aim was to throw the ball from your end and past the other team on the opposing byline. It had to bounce in final third though, so you couldn't just launch it over the other teams heads. Real skill involved in chuck.

[davertfnewman]

4 hours ago, SuperBacon said:

This has just (sort of) reminded me that the worst thing I ever saw at secondary school was someone dashing a 2p coin across the playground and it hitting a lad in year 7 flush on the mouth breaking his two front tooth and blood pissing everywhere. 

Absolute carnage.

Reminds me of a mate of mine, who went down the park with a group of mates, one of whose dad had a set of golf clubs. He stood behind someone as they were swinging and immediately had a white shirt turn red, minus two teeth.

4 hours ago, air_raid said:

At least primary school was where we first started wrestling. My mate Chris decided a gutwrench piledriver would be a great move, but instead of "head between the legs" he'd just drop them to the side in exactly the position they were elevated as he sat down, a bit like Musawa's Emerald Frozen. Surprised he didn't kill someone.

My lesser version of that was wrestling with my mate in his parents' bedroom on the big bouncy bed. Got powerslammed and bounced up and caught my forehead on the edge of a bedside cabinet, nice little scratch that had me combing my fringe down for a bit so it didn't get seen.

[Jazzy G]

It was called Wembley round my way. First round was one goal, an elimination each round and an extra goal. Whoever won overall was in goal for the next game.

If it was Wembley Doubles (or Wembley Dubs as it was also known in my neck of the woods) I think they'd pick between them who went in goal for the next game.

Teams would be allocated by the goalkeeper turning their back while all the outfield players were given a number. Pairs of numbers would be chosen at random by the goalie, and they would be a team. 

Three and in was also played on occasion. 

We also played headers and volleys, or the slightly less friendly version, which was "Five kick up arse". One person would be in goal, and would pick catches or wides. The other players would then try and score five goals using headers and/or volleys. If they scored the five they'd get to kick the keeper up the arse. The game would then start again, but only having to score four goals, and getting to deliver a slightly harder kick to the keeper if they managed to achieve that target, until they'd only need one goal, and would get to kick the goalie very hard. If the goalie caught a shot (before it bounced) or it went wide, whoever last touched the ball would go in goal instead. 

"Rush goalies" were called flying keepers in our local vernacular. 

Edited March 26, 2025 by Jazzy G

[Joe Blog]

Played doubles at my school, I was utter shit though and always got put with the other shit lad so we never did too well. We got through to the second round once and it was pandemonium. 
 

Playing proper team vs team football we would useFog Man Back as a rule which meant whoever was closest to the goal was keeper when the other team attacked.