Weirdest injuries

[RedTwoster]

This thread has been prompted by being reminded of a bizarre injury that happened to a pal of mine when he was growing up - he was six at the time.

He has a small, barely-noticeable scar just above his top lip now. And that was caused by the antenna of an old transistor radio going right through his cheek.

This happened when he was running around the kitchen trying to balance a ball on his nose like a seal. He fell on to the radio, and…ouch. 

So what’s the strangest way you or someone you know has injured themselves? 

[Gus Mears]

I've mentioned it before, but my old man ending up in hospital after a conker fell from a tree and concussed him was a great moment in Mears family lore.

[tiger_rick]

I was dangling from the stair rail at my uncles, fell and the handle of the understairs cupboard cut my arse. had to go to hospital for butterfly stitches. I got blood on my T-Shirt so my cousin was sent to get me a clean one and grabbed the first one he found in my drawer. My Mam recalls she was horrified when she met us at the hospital and had to walk me up to the reception wearing a Sam Fox page 3 T-Shirt that I got from one of those "print your own T-Shirt" shops in Blackpool.

Edit: I loved Sam!

Edited October 14, 2024 by tiger_rick

[Ironic Indie Lad]

I fucked myself up a few times wrestling and doing jiu-jitsu back in the day.

Once butted heads with a guy accidentally. For months my nose would click when I breathed through it and my voice became very nasal. I eventually went to the doctor and he said "you know what a cauliflower ear is? Well you have a cauliflower nose."

My septum has been badly mis-shaped ever since. 

[Devon Malcolm]

I've cracked my rib three times in my life and all three occasions it was for entirely stupid reasons.

First time I was sat on my couch with 16yo (who was then 2yo) kind of nestled under my right arm. Anyway, she nodded off and her head slipped under my armpit. I moved to try and lie her down and my laptop started falling to the side. Tried to catch it but sort of wedged her head between my arm and side and heard this audible crack as I leaned over. Absolutely panicked because I thought oh fuck I've broken her head but then the pain started. Their heads are not as soft as advertised.

Second time was leaning over the arm of the sofa to pick up a crisp off the floor. Crack.

Third time I was in bed and rolled over on my inhaler (no I don't know why it was there) and managed to do so in such a way that it got me right on the same rib.

[Lion_of_the_Midlands]

I am going to follow  @Gus Mears down the conker related route, at least for starters. I went to school with a lad we will call Monty, which was his nickname because he was obsessed with Field Marshall Montgomery. He was somewhat accident prone and one day while we were throwing sticks up a conker tree to get the conkers down he threw a stick that dislodged a piece of brick that someone else had already thrown up the tree and it came down and hit him in the face, breaking his nose. He seemed to spend more time in a cast at school than without one. I broke his wrist playing football, he broke his leg and dislocated his shoulder on separate occasions playing rugby. He cut his hand open when showing us that a shatterproof ruler could break though it didn't shatter to be fair. He also broke his arm while he was at camp with the cubs after tripping over a tent line and falling on the floor. He was also once horrifically sick on the dance floor of a particularly rough pub in Lincoln at an 18th birthday party. Not an injury as such, more wounded pride than a physical injury, especially as the landlord made him mop it up.

[Chili]

Broke my left thumb in the first nightclub I ever went too. Rock club in Warrington, there is a small batch of 5 steps leading to a platform with more steps. I fell from the steps, landed on the platform hands first and the thumb was fucked. My friend then kind of put it back into joint and we carried the night on a bit. I was then in incredible pain, and giving people high-fives or simply stretching all my fingers will sometimes knock the thumb out of whack. I sometimes even let people press the bone back into place. Great guy.

[BomberPat]

1 hour ago, Lion_of_the_Midlands said:

I went to school with a lad we will call Monty, which was his nickname because he was obsessed with Field Marshall Montgomery.

This is phenomenal.

[Lion_of_the_Midlands]

16 minutes ago, BomberPat said:

This is phenomenal.

It was the 80s. Very different times. 

[FLips]

I have a recurring small cyst on my back from when I was maybe 10-12 years old I slammed my back full force into a protruding nail in a fence while hiding during hide and seek. I had no idea it had happened until we all met back up together and my mate went "your back is bleeding". After getting my Mam to inspect and clean it we went back to the hiding spot to see a nail about 2 inches long covered in my blood.

Now, decades later every now and again the wound flares up and fills with white gunk that smells of cheese when I squeeze it out.

My legs are also shredded in places from where I tried to jump between the rocks at Anthony Quinn Bay where the Guns of Navarone was filmed. I have maybe 5 major scars on my body from various mishaps over the years but thankfully never broken a bone yet.

[RedTwoster]

44 minutes ago, FLips said:

I have a recurring small cyst on my back from when I was maybe 10-12 years old I slammed my back full force into a protruding nail in a fence while hiding during hide and seek. I had no idea it had happened until we all met back up together and my mate went "your back is bleeding". After getting my Mam to inspect and clean it we went back to the hiding spot to see a nail about 2 inches long covered in my blood.

I also suffered a hide-and-seek related injury!! I was planning to hide in a cupboard with a heavy door, and it slammed back so that my finger caught in the hinges. I opened the door, and the tip of my finger dropped to the floor. I was 7 or 8 I think, and weirdly I remember it not hurting much at all. I had the finger stitched back on and to this day I barely have any feeling in it. 

[ReturnOfTheMack]

I once cut the end of my nose while grating cheese as I decided to see what would happen if I held the cheese still and only moved the grater. I cut my hand, twice, on long grass. The webbing between my first two fingers got slit open on a yogurt pot.

When running around and playing at a local wild area I accidentally hit my head on a branch and an inch long thorn got stuck in my head, scraping along my skull.

 

All those were between the ages of 11 and 13.

[FLips]

5 minutes ago, ReturnOfTheMack said:

I once cut the end of my nose while grating cheese as I decided to see what would happen if I held the cheese still and only moved the grater. 

Were you holding the cheese in your mouth?

[TheBurningRed]

Playing a football match at lunch time in school, one mate was in goal and one was attacking. Attacking player went for a header and the goalie came for the ball. They clashed heads. Goalie ended up with the other guys tooth embedded in his head. The attacker was on his arse with blood all down is chin and tears down his face. Was the most bizarre thing I saw. 

Tore my ligaments down the pub when I wasn’t even pissed. We’d taken over the jukebox and for some reason I put on a Barry Manilow song. It came on as I was about to go to the toilet and ran back to my seat. Instead of sitting down, I decided I would jump and land on this small stall sitting down. Which I did. But my foot bent and I went over. Done my ligaments. Night ended. Because of Barry Manilow. 

I did cut my throat open on a spiked fence during the early hours of Christmas Day when we went into a golf course to still a flag. Although that’s less weird and more horrific and stupid.

[SuperBacon]

2 hours ago, FLips said:

Now, decades later every now and again the wound flares up and fills with white gunk that smells of cheese when I squeeze it out.

Mate...