The absolutely awful Xmas film watch thread

[WyattSheepMask]

1 hour ago, davertfnewman said:

Is the new Jack Black movie that Amazon is front-paging going in here or things that you know will be shit?

It’s not even a new movie, it was tucked away on Paramount+ last year. Not that that will have made it any less shit I’m sure 

[DavidB6937]

Christmas Karma

I finally did it. Took one for the team. I was ready for a glorious hateful experience. It started off so well - Danny Dyer singing in a taxi and then an awful Christmas song at a fairground in a Bollywood style. Pixie Lott. Masood AND Gita from Eastenders. What a start! All the ingredients of a terrible Christmas classic.

Then they ruined it. Once the ghosts started appearing and they went into Sood/Scrooge and his backstreet where his family were forced out of Uganda and his dad died it just stopped being funny any more.

Throw in Tim and his rare disease and death and well, not even Boy George could bring the humour back.

The movie is one of those weird fever dreams you feel someone on drugs who is into movies and music would create because it's all over the place. A scary Hugh Bonneville was wasted here - Paddington or Downton did not prepare him for such a small cameo! At least Billy Porter just got to be Billy Porter here so that was something.

Overall it obviously wasn't a good movie but it didn't commit nearly enough to the shit parts to make it worthy of the bad reviews or the trailer. It exists somewhere in the middle with good intentions.

So there we have it. A disappointment unfortunately. 

Edited December 13, 2025 by DavidB6937

[SuperBacon]

Holiday Touchdown: A Bills Love Story

Ever since I saw a clip of this a few weeks ago I was desperate to watch it for two reasons. I even thought about getting a free Hallmark+ trial and using a VPN, but luckily it's popped up on Sky.

The two reasons being...

RALPHIE!

BOBBY!

Two of my boys from that pygmy thing in Jersey! I like to see The Sopranos crew in anything else to be honest, so I was bang up for this.

Joey Pants is slumming it, Schirripa isn't.

Anyway the full synopsis: 

Spoiler

About Holiday Touchdown: A Bills Love Story

The Quinns and DeLucas have lived next door to each other for decades in the shadow of Highmark Stadium – the home of their beloved Buffalo Bills. With their longtime friendship rooted in being proud members of Bills Mafia, the two clans have enjoyed cherished traditions that revolve around cheering for their favorite team – especially at the holidays when they celebrate the last home game before Christmas. Pediatric doctor Morgan Quinn and the Bills’ VP of Stadium Development Gabe DeLuca have been lifelong friends, but Gabe has always held a torch for her – a fact obvious to their families… and everyone else who crosses their path. When Morgan learns from her Uncle Tommy that someone anonymously helped her family get by after he was drafted more than 60 years ago – and that he continues to receive a Christmas gift each year to this day – she decides to find his benefactor and give her uncle a Christmas he’ll always remember. Aided by Bills Mafia friends of theirs, Morgan and Gabe work together to unwrap the gifter’s identity. Along the way, Gabe’s love for Morgan deepens and in turn, she begins to see him in a new light though neither is daring enough to admit their feelings. Meanwhile, Morgan’s hopes of pulling off her surprise for Uncle Tommy get sacked. That is, until Gabe takes matters into his own hands and uses his connections with the Bills to pull off the surprise of a lifetime for Morgan and both their families that will make this a Christmas they’ll never forget.

tl:dr Gabe loves Morgan, Morgan loves Gabe, they're best friends and Morgans uncle went to 'nam and a mystery person helped his family and has continued to do so, and they try and track them down.

This was actually pretty good. Holland Roden and Matthew Daddario (Alexandras brother) are decent as the leads, and seem to be having fun. There are some Bills players and legends in it (had no idea who they were) and the lad playing Santa is a lot of fun as well.

Bonus marks for Gabe, project manager for the new Bills stadium (which does look good to be fair) who talks about using local labourers to build it. Section 106 agreement crew rise up.

One of the better ones I've seen, but was very slightly disappointed that Ralphie didn't call Mrs Claus a "hooooeeeer" or something, or that Bobby didn't come out in his hunting gear.

6 "quasimodo predicted this"s out of 10.

[Gus Mears]

On 12/7/2025 at 11:16 AM, davertfnewman said:

Is the new Jack Black movie that Amazon is front-paging going in here or things that you know will be shit?

Watched it last weekend. Innocuous shit rather than offensive shit, but shit nonetheless.

[tiger_rick]

We're still on with the Christmas Movie Advent. Now includes some Xmas specials because we don't have Netflix. We had our first fail. 12 Toys of Christmas. Absolute tosh about a lass who goes to Hungary to visit her grandmother while something about toys and immediately bumps into a fella she's clearly gonna end up with and we didn't get much beyond that because the plot dialogue and acting were absolutely woeful. The 4.4 on IMDB is the most generous score I've ever seen.

[Mr_Danger]

Theres one on Sky that’s looks like it’s threatening a romance between Kieffer Sutherland and Rebel Wilson. @SuperBaconcan you confirm if it’s the least sexy Christmas film ever or if it’s just weird advertising?

[ReturnOfTheMack]

1 hour ago, Mr_Danger said:

Theres one on Sky that’s looks like it’s threatening a romance between Kieffer Sutherland and Rebel Wilson. @SuperBaconcan you confirm if it’s the least sexy Christmas film ever or if it’s just weird advertising?

If it helps, here's my thoughts.

On 12/5/2025 at 6:35 PM, ReturnOfTheMack said:

Not wanting to step on Bacon's toes, but I just watched 'Tinsel Town' on skycinema. Kiefer Sutherland as a washed up American actor being manipulated into doing panto in England? With Rebel Wilson, Jason Manford, and Danny Dyer?

I cant lie, fucking loved it. I could have done with an extra 20 minutes of it just seeing him confused by panto. 

And its the most I have enjoyed Rebel Wilson in forever. 

 

[Mr_Danger]

32 minutes ago, ReturnOfTheMack said:

If it helps, here's my thoughts.

 

You sick fuck. 

[ReturnOfTheMack]

20 minutes ago, Mr_Danger said:

You sick fuck. 

Fair. I blame that I have performed enough pantos to recognise far too much of the film!