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PunkStep has his willy chopped off


PunkStep

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Just the thought of getting it done makes my skin crawl. Having a lonely wank in a doctor's office beforehand makes it even worse. Like in all aspects of my life, I follow Tim Westwood's advice and wrap it up before I slap it up. 

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It wasn't that bad to be honest. Pretty embarrassing and the injections in your testicles hurt like fuck but it wasn't quite the ordeal I expected. Mates have told me stories of being in bed for days afterwards but I walked 2 miles back to the train station and then went to footy training as normal on the night so no real bother.

Didn't have to do any lonely wanking either. Sample comes later to check you're a jaffa.

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2 minutes ago, tiger_rick said:

It wasn't that bad to be honest. Pretty embarrassing and the injections in your testicles hurt like fuck but it wasn't quite the ordeal I expected. Mates have told me stories of being in bed for days afterwards but I walked 2 miles back to the train station and then went to footy training as normal on the night so no real bother.

never mind grandpa simpson GIF

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When I had to give a sample they gave me a little pot to fill at home and it was a disaster.

I tried it with my right hand, nothing. I tried it with my left hand, nothing.

Then my girlfriend gave it a go and still nothing, so she called her mother to see if she could help. Still no good.

Anyway after her dad tried we agreed we were never going to get the lid of the pot.

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Rick is right, the procedure itself is fine. Seriously there was nothing to it. One of my nuts felt a bit weird for a few days (a bit like the aftermath of it being flicked), but nothing too bad at all. I couldn't cycle for a few days obviously.

@SuperBaconI think your Big Dave reference whooshed David there

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7 minutes ago, PunkStep said:

I think your Big Dave reference whooshed David there

There's too many "Big Dave's" in wrestling to be doing that. Big Dave Meltzer? Big Dave Bautista? Big Dave Arquette? Big Dave Taylor? Big Dave Flair? Big Dave Hebner?

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8 minutes ago, David said:

There's too many "Big Dave's" in wrestling to be doing that. Big Dave Meltzer? Big Dave Bautista? Big Dave Arquette? Big Dave Taylor? Big Dave Flair? Big Dave Hebner?

Big 'Tokyo Dome' Dave Meltzer

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1 hour ago, Gus Mears said:

I just don't think I can ever comprehend having needles jammed into your balls as "fine". 

It hurts like a bastard but just briefly. The worst part is when, if you're thick as fuck like me, you suddenly realise you've got a second one and they're going to inject that one too.

There was a woman present for the whole of my op but I was so unable to look at her above the knee that it could have been my missus and I wouldn't know.

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I had three people in the room when they did mine. There was a German doctor doing the injections and incisions who said I should find the procedure easy because I have tattoos, none of which I'll point out are on my ballsack. There was a female nurse helping him who really made the most of putting the iodine on my knackers and spent an uncomfortable amount of time flapping my shaft around whilst asking me about what I did for a living. The MVP was a nurse who literally stood by my right shoulder and tried to distract me from what was going on below the equator by asking me mundane things about my family.

Also, the smell of bacon when they cauterise the incision stays with you for a while.

Edited by cobra_gordo
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