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  1. Sorry to megathread this but couldn't think of an existing thread to shoehorn this into and there's no way I'm starting a new thread for this! Had the old snip a few months ago (we have 2 kids, one of each, so we're done). Yesterday I had to have a follow-up fertility test just to make sure my .357's have been replaced by blanks. I had the feeling that these clinics weren't great when it came to preparing you to provide a sample in terms of material provided, although admittedly I am basing this on tv shows and movies such as Road Trip, but I thought they might have better offerings than this. ***obviously NSFW*** So I open the draw... What the fuck is Bonesaw all about?! I feel for the poor blokes as it appears they are about to have their nobs chopped off by somebody cosplaying the killer from Scream while trying to have a good time. The magazines were uninspiring- the amount of easily accessible porn videos we have at our disposal make jazz mags a thing of yesteryear unfortunately. They didn't do it for me. Let's try a DVD, see if that works (not Bonesaw obvs, 'not gay' /Baz). What do we have here... What the!!! It's 2019, not 1996! They surely can't expect me to blow my load over some amateur 20+ year material that I already cracked one out over when I was in my teens?! Not even for nostalgic value was this going to do the trick. This is madness. Decided to make the use of their free WiFi instead. Xhamster is always the answer, I can get this over and done with sharpish and then pop into town to by some birthday presents for relatives before lunch. No wait...xhamster is blocked on their local WiFi. You have got to be kidding me- this is the one place where access should be encouraged! I look up and read a poster on the wall... You fully understand the difficulties? You block xhamster, give me Bonesaw and a celebrity sextape older than most of the England squad! You're not helping matters! Let's go back to that DVD and skip the Pammy video, see what's next... Northern Birds Shagging. Right. Fuck this, I'm looking through my Olivier Giroud stock pics- that should do the trick. The moral of the story is - as the Scouts would say (perhaps not intended for situations like this) - be prepared.
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