The Smackers Thread

[Callum1993]

Would they dare to have Owens win and to then have Cody win the Rumble for a third year in a row? Can bring back Orton then to make it a Triple Threat for Mania. 

[RedTwoster]

For whatever reason, it doesn’t really feel like Owens has been World champion to me, even though he held the Universal belt. It almost feels like that reign doesn’t count, given how short-lived the title itself was. I’d love to see him win the WWE title, even if it’s only for a short period of time.

I’d guess his chances very much depend on what Rock is planning to do these next few months.

[The King of Old School]

I could see that triple threat happening at some point.

If they go with Rock/Roman though (which should be for the belt, but I don't think it will be) then I can see Cody/Orton and Owens/Zayn at Mania.

[poetofthedeed]

I don't think Cody would be hurt by losing at SNME and regaining it at the Rumble, so have KO piledrive him to win the belt, and give us white t shirt and kneepads over the jeans Cody winning it back in a bull rope match.

[Supremo]

On 11/26/2024 at 10:34 AM, RedTwoster said:

For whatever reason, it doesn’t really feel like Owens has been World champion to me, even though he held the Universal belt. It almost feels like that reign doesn’t count, given how short-lived the title itself was. I’d love to see him win the WWE title, even if it’s only for a short period of time.

Equal to the length of the reign is the fact that Kevin never actually won it himself. Triple H essentially handed it to him, then never even explained why. Real dark ages stuff, when wrestlers were just pawns in the never-ending McMahon slop.

I’m far from one of those, “You Deserve it” guys, but given the last few years, and the work each guy has delivered, I’m starting to think Kevin and Sami should be the WWE Title match at Wrestlemania. Kevin wins it from Cody at Saturday Night’s Main Event, turns his rage to Sami, who eventually gets all his flowers at Wrestlemania. Sami already created the boom. He already had me crying when he won the Tag belts at Mania 39, then the Intercontintental at Mania 40. Time for the big one. Against his career rival. Who by that point will have probably shot him with a gun or something for making friends with Roman.

Roman and Punk can fight over Paul’s love. Cody and Rock can fight over The People’s Belt. Sami and Kevin for the big one.

[LaGoosh]

So I decided to watch my first full episode of WWE TV since...probably since the Kofimania/original Becky Lynch run. A lot of stuff on here that has probably been around for years will be new to me - I'm intrigued!

Lots of random thoughts:

- the Then.Now.Forever.Together open is so over the top it feels like the opening to a Marvel film. It made me cringe big time.

- we open on an absolutely beautiful shot of Utah in the golden hour, picturesque mountains everywhere. Perfect! Well then Michael Cole started talking and never fucking stopped.

- a perfectly reasonable recap of a brawl from last week. Nothing wrong with the video but the brawling all looks absolutely weak as piss and literally everyone is wearing black tshirts and black trousers. 

- the entrance set and tight entrance way look great.

- Solo Sikoa's entrance theme is fucking banging.

- this new Bloodline lot don't look like much. How old is Solo? He looks like a teenager in a high school play. The other two lads look small and bland. Bronson Reed is fat but not in a good way like Umaga, Viscera, Rikishi and Vader. He's just a fatty with a neckbeard. They are all in black tshirts. 

- Jacob Fatu is the only one who looks like a genuine pro wrestler. Real physical charisma oozing off him. Looks tough and ugly like these lads should. The rest are play wrestlers. Total phonies.

- Solo's promo was fine in content but his voice has no depth or timbre to it. Go back to drama school. Do some public speaking courses, vocal training etc.

- there's loads of random S's on screens in the crowd. What's that about? Very distracting.

- women's 3 way: is that Davenport the former Bea Priestley? She's probably the worst wrestler I've ever seen live. Incredible that she's made it this far. What's her gimmick/character? She looks awful.

- not clear what Chelsea Green is doing. Is she heel or face? What's her character?

- this match is hollow, going through the motions spots. Is the ring filled with wet cement? Everyone is moving so slow.

- I've seen a few Belair matches a few years back and she seems pretty decent. But she committed the ultimate sin of singing along to her own entrance music. Absolute amateur!

- LA KNIGHT, YEAH? Heard a lot of mixed things but this is my first time seeing him. He's so fucking Ruthless Aggression era looking that I burst out laughing. Straight from the Mr Kennedy, Rob Conway, Renee Dupree class this bloke. Seems over though?

- Santos Escobar comes out in a nice jacket only to reveal a black tshirt underneath. He has two lackeys with him who are also wearing black tshirts. I'm guessing he's the heel? Not that you could tell because he didn't wrestle like one and Knight didn't wrestle like a babyface. Another going through the motions and spots match. Have they not cleared the wet cement out the ring yet? Knights punches are FUCKING SHITE - inexcusable for a fiery babyface comeback. Escobar is rubbish. Awful match.

- have you ever watched those Star Wars fan films where it's almost always a lightsabre fight in the woods between a Sith and a Jedi? Nakamura's new look is like a teenager in a homemade Sith outfit for a Star Wars fan film. Shocking.

- how much of the crowd noise is piped in generally? Seems pretty rife so far.

- MCMG (in black tshirts) argue with Johnny Gargana about Tomatoe Chomper. They all look like absolute dweebs. Then Street Profits turn up (also in black) looking about six feet taller and eight feet wider than them so look like tiny dweebs.

- I don't think Cole or Graves have said anything remotely interesting, entertaining or of note. They could just AI these two.

- Nick Aldis is very bland. Does he have any character?

- the Sign of the Night stuff is nice, wholesome family fun. I liked that!

- great moment where Aldis is trying to catch up with Cody before he goes out but the camera moves too early so Cody is just standing stationary next to a ladder staring into nothingness.

- Cody isn't wearing black. He's got lots of colour so stands out and instantly feels like a bigger deal than everyone else. 

- the ring announcer is genuinely the worst ring announcer I've ever heard. That includes shitty indies I used to buy from Dave Pick back in the early 2000s. Unbelievably bad.

- very good segment with Owens/Rhodes. Both were excellent. Might be the best promo I've seen from Cody. Real heat with this and the first people on the show that felt like real people, real wrestlers and real stars.

- if this is CINEMA why can't they hire a Director of Photography? The relentless bright lights for all the backstage stuff is so flat looking. AEW is the same. Shadows and darkness look good - use them!

- incredible light show for Naomi/Bayley but a terrible song. And what is Tiffany and Candice's gimmick? There's just a load of stuff here with no connective tissue at all. This match was truly fucking dire. Terrible spots, one of the worst heat segments I've ever seen, an absolute mess. 3 for 3 with bad matches so far.

- Montez/Ciampa: what the fuck was this? This was basically a Montez squash match (he got basically all the offence of the entire thing) but they framed it as if it was an epic back and forth (they even did a trading punches spot) and then Montez won with a fluke roll up against a guy he is bigger, faster and stronger than and who he had also spent the majority of the match hitting with endless high spots. Cole screaming "HOW THE HELL DID FORD WIN?!" well why the hell wouldn't he? 4 bad matches in a row - all bad in unique and baffling ways. If you have any respect or understanding of the basic core tenants of what makes wrestling matches work in their simplest form all the matches so far will make you want to smash your head against a wall.

- teasing a DIY break up...didn't they already do that in NXT about 8 years ago or something?

- Montez looks the business and has great offence. He's probably wasted as a singles (though I don't know if his partner is any good or what they're like together, this is just my first impression).

- main event segment time! This show has felt so bereft of people who come across as real stars except for The Bloodline, Fatu, KO and Cody. 

- the OG Bloodline are so much bigger than Nu-Bloodline it's hard to accept them as a genuine threat.

- I haven't seen most of the back story but even I can feel the excitement and tension. It feels like a big deal and the reason everyone is there in attendance. Yeah - the whole segment was magic really. Not much more I can say that others haven't. 

Overall thoughts: ...well. Based on this episode all I can say is that they're lucky the main stuff seems to be really good and really landing because outside of The Bloodline and Cody/KO this was a truly awful show. But The Bloodline stuff is genuinely fantastic and it feels to me like it's holding the entire thing afloat and I get it. I can see why people are hooked on it. The standard of wrestling on this show was pitiful. It was the same standard as the original NXT back in the early 2010s. Production wise they've dropped all the headache inducing Dunn stuff but it's as flat, lifeless and impossible to engage with visually as ever. But goddamn, The Bloodline stuff just has a secret sauce to it.

Will I watch another episode? Absolutely no way, most of it was rancid shite. But will I seek out the next chapters of Owens/KO and The Bloodline? Definitely! I can see the appeal.

Too many black tshirts. 

Edited November 27, 2024 by LaGoosh

[RedTwoster]

5 minutes ago, LaGoosh said:

not clear what Chelsea Green is doing. Is she heel or face? What's her character?

 

She’s doing a ‘Karen’ type gimmick and she’s brilliant at it - I’d strongly urge you to seek out more of her stuff - she’s absolutely phenomenal and plays the character so well.

I really enjoyed reading your thoughts - I do think you’d feel differently about some of the wrestlers you were unsure of/didn’t like if you watched more; but there are others I’d bet money on you continuing to dislike - I don’t mind him, but I’d be stunned if LA Knight somehow won you round.

If you can be arsed with it, I’m very interested in what you make of Raw. I think it’s the better show because the roster feels so fresh (and the undercard stuff is generally better)

It does have Seth Rollins and he’s still…Seth Rollins, but outside of that it’s really good. Honest! 

[LaGoosh]

Yeah I might give Raw a go next week. While I didn't enjoy most of this it was interesting seeing a bunch of new people and acts I've only heard about before. I've never seen Bronn Breaker and he sounds like a bit of a nutcase so I'm keen to check him out.

Edited November 27, 2024 by LaGoosh

[RedTwoster]

8 hours ago, LaGoosh said:

Yeah I might give Raw a go next week. While I didn't enjoy most of this it was interesting seeing a bunch of new people and acts I've only heard about before. I've never seen Bronn Breaker and he sounds like a bit of a nutcase so I'm keen to check him out.

Bronn is great, as are Gunther and Damien Priest. The pairing of Dominik Mysterio and Liv Morgan has been a revelation from a character perspective; although I’m not certain you’ll feel that way after one show (similarly to one show not being enough to understand what’s so entertaining about Chelsea Green)

I think/hope you’ll see enough to understand why Raw might be appealing, but I think you’ll feel similarly to how you did after watching Smackdown based partly on the fact you’ll be picking up on some of the stronger acts mid-story; for example, Gunther - who is undergoing a crisis of confidence after losing to Cody. I’m pretty sure they know where they’re going with it, but to see a heel, supposedly dominant champion behave this way in isolation will just feel odd.

The Wyatt Sicks in isolation almost certainly won’t be for you - but due to some stellar build-up, I think they’re a really strong act. But…they’re feuding with Karrion Kross and Miz right now, so it’s a very hard sell. 

[LaGoosh]

10 hours ago, RedTwoster said:

I’d be stunned if LA Knight somehow won you round.

I've got plenty of time for a good white meat fiery midcard babyface but if you can't throw a good punch then you've failed as far as I'm concerned. 

I've seen Gunther from back when he was a fatty on the BritWres scene. His new slim look doesn't hugely work for me. Last match of his I saw was a PPV match froma few years back against Pete Dunne that was so awful I nearly quit watching wrestling afterwards. Pretty sure Dominic Mysterio is the type of thing I'll enjoy based on what I've seen/heard. Priest looks like a giant weird pervert but I'll try and keep an open mind.

2 hours ago, RedTwoster said:

I think you’ll feel similarly to how you did after watching Smackdown based partly on the fact you’ll be picking up on some of the stronger acts mid-story

I dunno, I feel like I've seen enough wrestling to enjoy/be intrigued by something or acknowledge it's quality even if jumping in the middle.

Fundamentally though if the quality of wrestling is as dire as it was on that episode of SD then yeah I probably won't enjoy it that much.

Edited November 28, 2024 by LaGoosh

[Devon Malcolm]

@LaGoosh I know you mostly hated it but I insist you keep watching Smackdown because I can never get enough LA Knight hate.

[Supremo]

If you dislike LA Knight, and want to see him look silly, you’re only ever three or four matches away from him trying to do the big leap onto the top Turnbuckle, slipping, and looking like a wally.

Edited November 28, 2024 by Supremo

[DavidB6937]

11 minutes ago, Supremo said:

If you dislike LA Knight, and want to see him look silly, you’re only ever there or four matches away from him trying to do the big leap onto the top Turnbuckle, slipping, and looking like a wally.

I honestly don't know why he still does it. Especially when you've got guys like Bron and the Creed bloke hitting more impressive versions.

[LaGoosh]

Oh, a WTF moment I forgot from my review:

why did they put their names on screen?

do they not think people know who they are?

and this was the third time they had been on screens on the episode?

Is this a normal thing they do? Absolutely weird!

[DavidB6937]

I mean I'd file that away under stuff people shouldn't really care about. Some of your points were definitely interesting but I'm not sure we need to be pulling the show apart to the point where we're looking at when they put names on screen.

If they'd put the wrong names on screen then maybe!