The UKFF Thesaurus

[Keith Houchen]

Inspired by the amazing Viz's Rogers Thesaurus, this is a thread for things that you have a name for, something that may be everyday, or those moments that just involve you.  Nothing rude though, lets leave that to the aforementioned masters.  Allow me to give you a couple of examples.

 

The Morrissey Minute - This is used to describe the length of time of pure unadulterated joy that I feel between hearing the opening bars of a Smiths or Morrissey song, before being brought thunderously back down to earth by remembering what an absolute helmet Morrissey is.

The Pay Zonday  -  The movement made of an innocuous look away, but doing it enough so that it's noticed, usually made in a restaurant by a waiter when you put your PIN into the card reader.  Named after internet yesteryear star and The Fash Gang collaborator Tay Zonday, who turns away from the mic to breathe.

 

Any entries I consider good will be added* to the opening post. 

 

(* They probably won't)

[Chilly McFreeze]

The Christmas Gouch - that bit between Christmas and New Year when you're just bumming around enjoying the time off and eating ungodly amounts of food. 

[air_raid]

2 hours ago, Chilly McFreeze said:

The Christmas Gouch - that bit between Christmas and New Year when you're just bumming around enjoying the time off and eating ungodly amounts of food. 

I'd have thought "Gooch" might have been more appropriate. Merry Perineum!!

[CavemanLynn]

Sonic-ing - when you spill your change everywhere.

[Chest Rockwell]

Chilli-dogging - when you nick a joke or observation and pass it off as your own

[hallicks]

I haven't been able to escape awareness of the Morissey Minute everytime I put a smiths song on since reading this thread 

Edited November 24, 2018 by hallicks

[Keith Houchen]

Garthing - The art of getting a prepared answer into a convo if the question isn’t asked by asking yourself the question anyway. 

[Gus Mears]

17 hours ago, MrK said:

My 5 year old daughter asked me last week if she could watch the “terrible teeth programme”. After much questioning I wasn’t any the wiser as to what programme she was talking about. 

Earlier today, the penny dropped when we were both sat in front of the TV and an advert for tomorrow’s Jeremy Kyle came on.

“The terrible teeth programme” is a better description for Jeremy Kyle than I could ever have come up with. And I’m now disappointed in myself for not guessing it at the time. 

For anyone interested in the answer to the original question. No, she cannot watch the terrible teeth programme!

I would like to nominate Terrible Teeth Programme by MrK, for Jeremy Kyle, Judge Rinder and other horrible daytime television shows populated by people with knackered gnashers. 

Edited November 29, 2018 by Gus Mears

[Fatty Facesitter]

Ebdoning - When someone takes an agonisingly long time to complete a certain task, be it for practical purposes in a work place, getting ready ahead of a trip out etc. Ode to snooker player Peter's Ebdon's agonisingly slow style of play. 

[Astro Hollywood]

Steptoeing/a Steptoe - when playing Scrabble and laying words like bum, wee, or toilet, in reference to this close-up in an episode of Steptoe and Son:

By my expert reckoning, VIBRATORS down the bottom could only have been laid next to a pre-existing TORS, so would not have been as high scoring as it looks, neither hitting the treble, nor getting the 50 point bonus for using all 7 letters.

[Accident Prone]

Hmmm. questionable pluralization as well. It's allowed in the rule book, but in my house, that would be outlawed. A waste of an 'S'.

 

Edited November 30, 2018 by Accident Prone

[Jazzy G]

16 hours ago, Astro Hollywood said:

Steptoeing/a Steptoe - when playing Scrabble and laying words like bum, wee, or toilet, in reference to this close-up in an episode of Steptoe and Son:

By my expert reckoning, VIBRATORS down the bottom could only have been laid next to a pre-existing TORS, so would not have been as high scoring as it looks, neither hitting the treble, nor getting the 50 point bonus for using all 7 letters.

Might be placed around "or" which would get the 50 pt bonus. I'm more concerned that they've allowed a misspelling of privet

Edited November 30, 2018 by jazzygeofferz

[Keith Houchen]

On 11/29/2018 at 3:41 PM, Gus Mears said:

I would like to nominate Terrible Teeth Programme by MrK, for Jeremy Kyle, Judge Rinder and other horrible daytime television shows populated by people with knackered gnashers. 

Could we call that a Kyle Smile perhaps? I'm going to submit one that goes the other way.  

Olivers Army - A collective term for usually middle class people who laugh sneeringly at the poor and the worst off in society.  They laugh at their food, clothes, appearances on the aforementioned shows, and appearance in general because they think that everyone has the same opportunities in life that their privileged backgrounds gave them and that people on council estates should jolly well pull their socks up and work harder and be more like them.  

[The Maestro]

Wankman's Holiday: when you have a day off work and tug yourself silly.

Edited December 1, 2018 by The Maestro
Wrist cramp

[WyattSheepMask]

The Gabbo Build - whenever some sort of cryptic hype begins leading to wild speculation