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Autism


Nick Soapdish

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4 minutes ago, FelatioLips said:

Sorry I should point out I’m asking from a position of wanting to learn rather than it being something I deal with personally. I was diagnosed with Anxiety as a teenager and I have had some strong ADHD traits since being a child that I still have now (though without a diagnosis I would never tell people I have ADHD) but personally autism isn’t something I’ve dealt with so I just want to be more aware and educated on it.

That’s a very commendable approach. As the saying goes “If you’ve met one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person”. I’m familiar with my girlfriends autism, which is different to my nephews autism. Different things affect different people, so patience is a valuable commodity when helping. 
 

Before she was diagnosed she would do stuff that infuriated me and we’d have huge fights. In fairness to her I was heavily drinking and having a breakdown. We know now that she reacted in that way because she was having a meltdown. I still feel enormous shame and guilt about how I was making her life harder and we navigate the pitfalls of life together now. 
 

We can’t stop the meltdowns, but we can minimise them as we know what stimuli sets them off. Her routine is stuck to the best we can, if she’s feeling crowded in a supermarket a strong hug helps calm her, if we are in the car her playlist calms her especially on motorways. 
 

But that is the approach for her and her only. Everyone else has theirs. So patience is the key when trying to be supportive!

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The friend who helped me escape back in August was diagnosed autistic a few weeks ago, and I'm trying to help her through processing the diagnosis just by sharing resources and letting her talk to me if she needs to. I shared this video today about unmasking, and part of the video made me realise that probably a LOT of why I put up with what I did was because it helped me to mask more effectively? 

 

I went to some meetings on Wednesday through the Care Network (a local charity I may be doing some voluntary work for) and the local council. One in the morning was the Learning Disability Partnership Board Meeting, and the afternoon was the Autism Partnership board meeting. They were both catering to very different needs, but presenting ostensibly the same information. The meetings couldn't have been more different. The morning was very noisy, and a lot of the flow of things got interrupted by people with questions, so I was struggling to concentrate on it, but in the afternoon the same speakers were so much more engaging. There was a fair bit of discussion about needing lived experience, and some other groups that I may want to check out. They've also made the decision to split the meetings and holding them on alternate months rather than both on the same day every other month. 

There was also some information about some interesting trips they do as well. In April there's a trip to Bronte Country including a steam train ride, so I'm probably going to go for that. I also met some really interesting people and got some interesting resources. Also people told me not to worry about appearing rude if I feel like I need to wear my headphones when it's loud in these meetings. Next time I'll probably bring my earbuds. 

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On 1/28/2023 at 10:30 AM, Shy Dad said:

Booked my ticket last night for Chloe Hayden's UK book tour around her autism awareness and self help book "Different Not Less" and I'm honestly like a kid at Christmas.

My wife went to see her tonight. She said it was excellent. She didn’t watch Heartbreak High but has been following her on social media. Hope you enjoy!

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On 2/9/2023 at 5:34 PM, Keith Houchen said:

A series on BBC called “Inside Our Autistic Minds” starts on the 14th. Should be good, Chris Packham is hosting so no doubt the Cuntryside Alliance will be using autism as an insult from now on. 

 

Did anyone watch this last night? I did and I was weeping constantly. It was so beautiful. Chris Packham wanted to give people who can’t tell their stories the opportunity to tell their stories 
 

It focused on two people, Flo and Murray. Both stories had a resonance with me, Flo’s story was so similar to my partners story that many times we both did that DiCaprio points at the tv meme so often! There was a moment where she said her husband was the first person in her life that she didn’t need to mask in front of, but sometimes she still does. My partner had tears streaming down and pointed at me as if to say “That’s you for me”. This set me off because it was one of the nicest things ever said to me, and because it brought it home to me that if I’m the only person who truly sees her, the world is missing out on this kind, sweet, caring, loving, intelligent woman. 
 

Murray is Jack Bruce’s son. He is 20 and been non verbal his whole life. My nephew is non verbal so I guess I had a vested interest too, as well as being a pop master fan! It was staggering, but obvious, how he felt most people don’t think of him as intelligent because he can’t join in with conversation and assume he isn’t aware of what goes on around him. 
 

It was emotional and educational and I urge everyone to watch it. @FelatioLips you mentioned how you wanted a bigger understanding of Autism, I think this programme will do the job. 

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1 hour ago, Keith Houchen said:

Did anyone watch this last night? I did and I was weeping constantly. It was so beautiful. Chris Packham wanted to give people who can’t tell their stories the opportunity to tell their stories 
 

It focused on two people, Flo and Murray. Both stories had a resonance with me, Flo’s story was so similar to my partners story that many times we both did that DiCaprio points at the tv meme so often! There was a moment where she said her husband was the first person in her life that she didn’t need to mask in front of, but sometimes she still does. My partner had tears streaming down and pointed at me as if to say “That’s you for me”. This set me off because it was one of the nicest things ever said to me, and because it brought it home to me that if I’m the only person who truly sees her, the world is missing out on this kind, sweet, caring, loving, intelligent woman. 
 

Murray is Jack Bruce’s son. He is 20 and been non verbal his whole life. My nephew is non verbal so I guess I had a vested interest too, as well as being a pop master fan! It was staggering, but obvious, how he felt most people don’t think of him as intelligent because he can’t join in with conversation and assume he isn’t aware of what goes on around him. 
 

It was emotional and educational and I urge everyone to watch it. @FelatioLips you mentioned how you wanted a bigger understanding of Autism, I think this programme will do the job. 

Watching it was indeed emotional. Lot of sobbing. Flo’s story was very similar to mine and my daughter (although my daughter has that understanding and support as a child Flo missed out on unfortunately). Murray’s story has some similarities to my son, though he can say some words and make other noises, but found him being able to communicate so beautiful and eloquent). A real eye opener I hope for people who aren’t aware of  Autism.

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2 minutes ago, Hannibal Scorch said:

Watching it was indeed emotional. Lot of sobbing. Flo’s story was very similar to mine and my daughter (although my daughter has that understanding and support as a child Flo missed out on unfortunately). Murray’s story has some similarities to my son, though he can say some words and make other noises, but found him being able to communicate so beautiful and eloquent). A real eye opener I hope for people who aren’t aware of  Autism.

Yeah I thought of you and the issues your family faces, and as you say I hope so many people watch it!

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I have very minimal experience with Autism and I watched this based on the comments in this thread to try and gain a better understanding of Autism and can safely say, it was completely eye opening, especially Murray and his story.

Myself and the Mrs watched it tonight and were able to self-reflect along the way of how people who are inexperienced with Autism, would normally act and has made me feel quite shameful at times as well. Through not understanding Autism, it's quite easy to have a misconception and even possibly talk about the person like they aren't even there. 

I felt awful listening to both Murray and Flo's stories, along with the email Murray sent Chris, that I am probably part of the problem through sheer lack of understanding and misconception of what Autism actually is. Documentaries such as this should be taught in schools to allow an understanding from a younger age. 

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2 hours ago, Nick James said:

I have very minimal experience with Autism and I watched this based on the comments in this thread to try and gain a better understanding of Autism and can safely say, it was completely eye opening, especially Murray and his story.

Myself and the Mrs watched it tonight and were able to self-reflect along the way of how people who are inexperienced with Autism, would normally act and has made me feel quite shameful at times as well. Through not understanding Autism, it's quite easy to have a misconception and even possibly talk about the person like they aren't even there. 

I felt awful listening to both Murray and Flo's stories, along with the email Murray sent Chris, that I am probably part of the problem through sheer lack of understanding and misconception of what Autism actually is. Documentaries such as this should be taught in schools to allow an understanding from a younger age. 

Lovely post but don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s a hell of a spectrum and I think as a society understanding of it has improved tremendously. The reason why so many people now get diagnosis when they didn’t as kids is by understanding it more and seeing the traits. However, the fact is led to a discussion is the important thing. So at least look at the positives.

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I have a question for the parents on here who have children with Autism, please forgive if any ignorance shows through in this post, there's no offence intended at all.

My friend has a daughter who is austistic but more and more lately he's he's using his daughters condition (Apologies if wrong on terminology.) to try and manipulate situations and use her as a focal point so that our friend group does things for him under the guise it's for her.

One example that's cropped up a lot is that he uses it to try and bargain with shopkeepers/market stalls so he can undercut them for as much as possible. 90% of the items he buys aren't for her but he'll try at any opportunity.

With our friend group it's asking us to do everyday tasks that he's more than able to do whilst she's at school or create situations like day trips/activities with her in mind then pleading poverty once we're out knowing full well we're not going to see her without.

I'm also worried that he's influincing his daughter to behave negatively to those who say no to him. I've not spoke to him in weeks since he tried to get me to drive them about for his self indulgent needs. If it was genuinely for her then it wouldn't have been a problem at all. He then put all the blame on me when explaining to her why it wasn't happening and she's has been verbally abusive about me when talking to other members of our friend group who have seen them this week. 

We have tried to be mindful around him about his daughters condition and understood as best as possible that it is difficult for him financially and how day to day things are aren't as easy for those of us who take it for granted.

I feel he's in the wrong for doing so, I'm wondering if any of you have encountered anything like this and how would you approach the subject bearing in mind that it's him and his daughter is in the middle of something that she is completely innocent/unaware of but will probably have consequences that directly affect her due to his actions.

Thank-you for your time.

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Yeah he sounds like a right cunt. Whenever I see people giving stuff away in local Facebook groups, you always get people replying “Can I be considered, my autistic son/daughter would love this”, he sounds like them with the cunt volume turned up. 

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