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The UKFF's ULTIMATE Action Hero [WINNER ANNOUNCED]


John Matrix

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@Gus Mears I was the other person who voted for Colt, but he was the only TV character on my list. I didn't vote for Boon because I assume he is going to piss this. 

 

I've not seen any of the Reeves films. I can't get past how shite he is an actor. People say how good he was in The Matrix, but he was 7th choice for that role. So he obviously wasn't who they wanted in the first place. 

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I've always thought the Matrix was a good film despite pretty much all of the cast. I've not seen John Wick but I've heard only good things (it's on my list, I've not not got to it yet). But I've yet to see anything that makes me think Keanu is a good actor, but I still like films he's in a lot of the time. So I guess he's good at picking decent projects..? Seems like a nice guy too.

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#13 Ben Richards

The_Running_Man_Arnold_Schwarzenegger.jp

Schwarzenegger's first mention on this list, and what a fucking mention.  The Butcher of Bakersfield!  

True story, I once watched The Running Man two and a half times in a row one night, Sci Fi, Sci Fi+1, then again when Sci Fi repeated their 9pm showing at like 1am or something, so you can bet i'm chuffed with his inclusion on this list.

Stepping into familiar shoes as a highly skilled former military operative, we see Richards in action right from the get-go as he, along with prison buddies Weiss and Laughlin stage a fight in order to facilitate a prison break, having been wrongly incarcerated for his role in the infamous 'Bakersfield Massacre'.

If you in anyway follow interact with political press on social media, you'll find the films over riding theme of a corrupt media forcing a narrative on the people somewhat eerie given the current climate, and of course, it's this regime our boy Ben sets out to smash in order to clear his name.

and so having been re-captured, Richards finds himself competing on The Running Man, a corrupt gameshow which exists seemingly for no purpose other than to rid the world of 'problematic' citizens under the thinly veiled guise of 'entertainment'

However, with ratings dwindling and 'competitive' contestants hard to come by, Richards offers a mouth-watering prospect to producer-cum-presenter Damon Killian, played expertly by American Les Dennis, Richard Dawson - allegedly a massive dick in real life which may explain such a wonderful portrayal.

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"I can get ten points for his biceps alone!"

This of course creates the perfect narrative to pitch Ben Richards against a series of increasingly difficult and unique opponents, Subzero, Buzzsaw, Dynamo and Fireball, all murderous corporate enforcers presented to the viewing public as if they were Wolf or Saracen on Saturday night ITV.

Unarmed and out gunned, Richards is forced to rely on brains as well as brawn to fight his way back to an eventual confrontation with Killian, and of course, when he does, all fucking hell breaks lose kicked off as only Arnold characters can, with a witty and ironic zinger...."It's SHOWTIME".

If you need further evidence of Richards place in the action movie history books, The Running Man ends with him looking cool as fuck, walking off into the shadows hand in hand, with the girl, and accompanied by the dulcet tones of John Parr an absolute hat-trick of genre cliche's.

In closing, you want an endorsement as to why Ben Richards deserves a place on a list of all time action heroes?  Ladies and Gentlemen, I refer you to Agnes.  Quite simply..

 

The UKFF said:

The butcher of bakersfield him self, what a film this is so many memorable characters too

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Lasting Legacy:

For the most part, The Running Man and, by association Ben Richards live primarily in the shadows of the big hitters in the Schwarzenegger back catalogue.  If you were lucky to be around at the time, you might have had the luxury of playing as him in the accompanying and, take my word for it, nigh on fucking impossible video game 

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But despite a fine performance, inventive kills and no end of quotable dialogue, Ben Richards isn't the post movie merch shifter other Arnold characters went on to be.  So until Adidas pull their foot out and relaunch their line of spandex mustard yellow one piece tracksuits, we're all just going to have to keep the legend alive, or indeed, land a spot in the audience at the next set of Running Man tapings in hope of landing ourselves a copy of the board game.

fictional-games-runningman.png

 

Edited by John Matrix
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Love The Running Man. I've been gasping for a good blu-ray for years. For some reason it's been properly neglected. The UK doesn't have a Blu-ray of it and all the other regions versions are barely any better than the DVD in picture quality. We need a full on restoration like they did for Total Recall.

Ben Richards didn't quite make my list but he defo is a worthy alternate. Great write up again Matrix. I really want to play that video game now.

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You suckered me in with You Got The Touch. I was expecting it to be Optimus Prime, once I clicked reveal. Can't argue with Ben Richards being on the list. Running Man is a favourite of mine. A bit more sophisticated than Commando. If an Arnie film can be sophisticated. I guess Arnie will pop up more than once in this list.

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Sorry for the recent delays guys, The next two entrants are tied and so have taken a little longer to pull together.

 

#12 [Joint] Harry Callaghan

 
Ispettore_Callaghan.jpg
 
'Dirty Harry' a film character so legendary, I bet even Michael Owen has heard of him.
 
The five film franchise Dirty Harry, Magnum Force, The Enforcer, Sudden Impact and The Dead Pool sees Eastwood's Callaghan pioneer the 'antihero' cop role.
 
You've heard the cliches...
 
He's a maverick, a renegade!  
He plays by his own goddamn rules!  
Sure, he's dangerous....but he gets results!
 
Simply put, in 1971 those weren't cliches, and Callaghan represented the dawn of a new era of action heroes, ones who flew in the face of authority and delivered justice at all costs - his lack of diplomacy on glorious display during hostage negotiations.  Want a getaway car? you'll get a fucking getaway car.  
 
Callaghan has the sort of CV I love in my action heroes, a crack shot, handy with his fists, and highly inventive.  Whilst he's most famous for toting "the most powerful handgun in the world" his patented .44 Magnum, you needn't think you're out of the woods should he find himself out of ammo, it's entirely likely he'll just harpoon you to the fucking wall instead!
 
A total that could be considered modest these days, Callaghan offs 43 wrong'uns over the course of five films which for the time, was a bloody good tally, setting in motion a flurry of one upmanship as the stars who followed competed to see who could effectively kill the most people on screen.
 
More impressive is how a man, considered by many to be the definitive action hero of his era could maintain such a solid rep whilst spending the majority of his time dressed like a 80's public school geography teacher on mufti day.
 
The UKFF said:
 
When I first saw Dirty Harry years ago it blew me away, it stood out so much as a classic film that really was "that good", you could see the DNA of a million later action films in it. I never got round to watching any of the sequels but I'll never forget how much Harry stood out as a classic character deserving of his standing. The prototype action movie hero.
 
The only rogue cop that counts. Pun not intended.
 
Lasting Legacy:
 
Simple.  
 
 
A timeless quote from a timeless character.  So, go ahead, make my day, throw on a Callaghan movie and celebrate the original unorthodox law enforcement officer.
 
 
Edited by John Matrix
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#12 [Joint] Bryan Mills

liam-neeson-bryan-mills2.jpg

2008's Taken took a generation of action movie fans by surprise with Liam Neeson, a somewhat unlikely choice at 56 years old, turning in one of the most credible performances in recent years.

Whilst no stranger to the genre, Neeson's previous outings consisted largely of period, or fantasy films, so when the ultra skilled Bryan Mills first appeared on our screens, I think it's fair to say not many predicted quite how huge a hit the film would go on to be.

Bryan Mills represents everything that's great about the genre, as if someone sat down, dissected the biggest hits over time and came up with the perfect formula.

Mills backstory reads like a greatest hits of action movie classics.  He's former ex military, top of the class - an elite skilled and fiercely committed family man, with a sprinkling of new era savvy, he's cerebral, utilises technology with the Taken movies playing out like a chess match.  Unlike the standard one way traffic, hero blowing his way through enemies en route to a final confrontation, instead, the two sides operate concurrently throughout, with Mills in a constant battle to stay one step ahead.

There's a real authenticity to Mills.  The action tells a story, from the nasty digs in the ribs during the first films airport clash there's no wasted motion, Mills fighting style is brutal and efficient, there's no flair, or superhuman feats of strength, only sheer will.

Where other heroes are gung ho, and wouldnt think twice about planting claymores in areas their kidnapped child may or may not be, Bryan Mills is, cold, composed, and calculated enough to drive nails through your fucking thighs before electrifying you until you talk.

It's somewhat fitting that Mills and Callaghan share positioning in the list, in that Mills for my mind, follows that mould.  There isn't a cool factor as such, other than how relentlessly fucking hard and single minded he is throughout, although the ever presence of a black leather jacket might just undermine my point.

The latter films were criticised a little, as often the case, the sequels went on to become a little more fantastical -  the film-makers having to take some short cuts, having no doubt realised they ought to have gotten on with this some years before Neeson became a little to old to carry the load, but one of my particular favourites is that from the second film, with Mills captured and instructing his daughter on how to locate him using a bag of casually stored hand grenades.

Utter nonsense, and not really in keeping with the feasible nature of the action to that point, but the sort of 'cerebral for idiots' type of scene fans like me with short attention spans can really get in to although i'm entirely open to the possibility that Maggie Grace chucking bombs around in a skimpy outfit may have unfairly biased my opinions.

The UKFF said:

Another vengeful father protecting his family, Mills is another level of kick-assery. Military background, with a propensity for violence, logical and calculating – who hasn’t dreamed reciting his speech to the guy who’s taken his daughter? The father we’d all love to be…

Definitely the most recent thing in my list, but goddamn this film is fantastic. A real modern action classic. Bryan just takes no shit whatsoever. He knows right from the off how high the stakes are.

Lasting Legacy:

I said there were parallels between Mills and Callaghan, and for me, the former, much like the latter is forever immortalised by an iconic soundbite that has firmly cemented his place in the action movie history books.

You know what it is, you don't need me to quote it and despite having heard it hundreds of times, I bet you'll still click play and listen one more time.

[/spoiler[

 

 

 

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I still maintain the only way Taken 2 would work is if it was another Die Hard clone. For that matter Die Hard 5 should have been a Taken clone.

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