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The UKFF's ULTIMATE Action Hero [WINNER ANNOUNCED]


John Matrix

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57 minutes ago, Chest Rockwell said:

Seconded! The thread can wait, unless of course it's a welcome distraction for you.

Thanks for the kind words fellas. Ā Chest, you hit the nail on the head me old China. Ā Alternative is spending the next few nights on a hospital ward fretting and pacing up and down corridorsĀ 

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11 hours ago, IANdrewDiceClay said:

I think with each entrant, Matrix should post a youtube link to a random 80s/90s action film song to get us in the mood.

#19 Colt Seavers

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"Well, I'm not the kind to kiss and tell, But I've been seen with Farrah.
I've never been with anything less than a nine, so fine.
I've been on fire with Sally Field, gone fast with a girl named Bo.
But somehow they just don't end up as mine.

It's a death-defying life I lead, I'll take my chances.
I've died for a living in the movies and tv.
But the hardest thing I'll ever do is watch my leading ladies,
Kiss some other guy while I'm bandaging my knee.

I might fall from a tall building, I might roll a brand-new car,
'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman that made Redford such a star.

I've never spent much time in school, but I taught ladies plenty.
It's true I hire my body out for pay, hey hey!
I've gotten burned over Cheryl Tiegs, blown up over Rachel Welch
But when I wind up in the hay, it's only hay, hey hey!
I might jump an open drawbridge, or Tarzan from a vine,
'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman, that makes Eastwood look so fine.

Honestly. Ā That picture. Ā That song. Ā Do you need any further justification? Ā A stunt-man cum bounty hunter who's all about the ladies, what more could anyone ask for from an action hero?

For those of you less familiar with The Fall Guy, shame on you - and the likelyhood that there's probably an entire generation of UKFF'ers who've never heard of it terrifies me!

For UK viewers, it was one of those American gems you'd stumble across while channel surfing on a Saturday afternoon. Ā A cult favourite, definitely, but the premise is one which would absolutely work today and could perhaps do so without the backlash more established shows facing the re-boot treatment regularly suffer from.

Still not convinced? Ā He drove a fucking great big GMC pick-up truck too. Ā Case closed.

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The UKFF said:

Bounty hunterĀ andĀ stuntman. The job role that I hold out hope for, as I sit in an office five days a week.

Me and my brother loved The Fall Guy as kids, a combination of stuntman and bounty hunter must be the greatest job share ever and that's what we wanted to be when we grew up. How are dreams were shattered. He's a mechanic and I work with people with challenging behaviour.Ā 

Lasting Legacy:

Lunchbox. CheckĀ 

Toy line. Check.

Board game. CHECK.

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In it's day, you could take your pick. Ā The lunchboxes still do a fair trade on Ebay. Ā 

The series was re-released on DVD in 2007, however, if Axel Foley inspired the ring tone of choice for a generation, Colt Seavers can claim responsibility for single handedly fuelling the TV themes CD compilation industry.

Ā 

[/spoilers]

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Yep ... this thread is going in gold, I imagine.

@John Matrix Oh and sorry to here about your kid. As shit as that situation maybe, we can all agree thinking about or indeed watching/listening to action movies or their soundtracks always makes us all feel better whatever the situation.

Edited by IANdrewDiceClay
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Ā 

#18 Max Rockatansky

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Itā€™s made abundantly clear from the moment weā€™re first introduced to Max Rockatansky, heā€™s a chap one ought not fuck with.

ā€¦and thatā€™s before his wife and child are brutally murdered in front of him, so you know thatā€™s not going to help matters for the villainous types roaming the deserted roads of dystopian Australia.

Armed with a 600bhp Ford Falcon Muscle CarĀ whichā€™d look every bit as sexy if it were on the market today, ā€˜Mad Maxā€™ with nothing left to live for sets out on his quest for vengeance, disposing of his antagonists, notably the wonderfully named ā€˜Toecutterā€™ in a series of increasingly violent and inventive car crashes.

With redemption nowhere in sight, Maxā€™s story continues in 1981ā€™s ā€˜The Road Warriorā€™ where we find him surviving Aussie wastelands en route to a confrontation with HumungousĀ introduced here in a scene which had me shitting myself, and fearing razor sharp boomerang attacks for some time afterwards. The gang is notable for sidekick Wez, played by go to Australian nutcase villain Vernon Wells who of course, Max dispatches of in the films finale in suitably unpleasant fashion

"We don't need another HEEEEEROOOO" sang Tina Turner. Ā We fucking do love, and as such, a third film followed which, as with so many successful franchises suffered from a bigger budget and glossy production, losing much of the grit and charm which attracted such a cult following in the first place.

What you've got in Mad Max is a super skilled driver behind the wheel of a muscle car. Ā A man with lightning fast reflexes, proficient in hand to hand combat but who has no objections lugging a fucking sawn-off around with him. Ā A man with the tougness to walk away from massive crash trauma after massive crash trauma, although, notably for pro-wrestling aficionado's in a somewhat rare case for action hero's, actually continues to sell his injuries, sporting a leg-brace and knee bandage respectively during the latter films in the series. Ā If that dosent tick your boxes, i'm not sure what will.

The UKFF said:

Fuck all, which meant I had to put a lot of legwork into this one you shits.

Lasting Legacy:

Audiences were re-introduced to Mad Max in 2015's Fury Road, with Tom Hardy filling the boots of Main Patrol Force's finest. Ā It should come as no surprise that a film which embraces a character as revered as Max Rockatansky, and was shot using far more traditional 'authentic' techniques with little reliance on CGI, such embodying the blood and thunder of its source material would go on to receive a universally positive reception - with a sequel on the way , it's safe to say that Mad Max lives on, and will continue to do so for some time to come.

Ā 

Edited by John Matrix
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8 minutes ago, Lion_of_the_Midlands said:

You certainly did Chest. The Fall Guy had all the ingredients of great Saturday afternoon TV. Action, adventure, and something for the dads, as every week the plot managed to find a way to get Heather Thomas into a bikini.Ā 

Ha, too bloody true. Ā Try searching Fall Guy best bits for inspiration. Ā Fall Guy best tits more like. Ā Eh? Lads? Eh?

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3 minutes ago, Rey_Piste said:

I fucking loved the Fall Guy as a kid, I even had the pick up truck toy. As for the Mad Max entry are the images not loading for anyone else.

No images chief. A glitch from where IĀ cut and paste from Word. Ā Should be gone now.

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I like to think I'm well informed and have pretty good working knowledge of this type of thing. But once again IĀ am shame facedĀ in this thread. I am aware a TV show called The Fall Guy exists, but not only have I never seen it I had no idea what it was about. This has frankly blown my world view apart and I'm a shell of my former self.

Edited by DEF
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