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Didn't even have to use my AK (minor annoyances)


Gus Mears

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Slightly off-topic, but my Great-Uncle Richard has the most insane method of making tea I have ever seen. He must have something wrong with his brain, I'm not joking, this is the most OCD tea-creation method in human history. 

 

Firstly, he boils the kettle..

 

Once boiled, he puts hot water in  the mugs for a couple of minutes to "warm them up".

 

He then pours that water out of the mugs.

 

After this he boils the kettle again.

 

Tea bags proceed to go into the mugs.

 

He then gets another mug full of hot water to "warm it up"

 

The water goes out of that mug.

 

Milk then goes in the most recent warm mug.

 

Boiled water finally goes on the tea bags at this point.

 

These bags are left for seemingly hours, because Richard goes ape-shit if you press the bag against the mug "STAINS, STAINS!!!!"

 

The tea-bags are then removed in a manner so precise it's essentially that scene from Mission Impossible when Tom Cruise is hanging from the ceiling.

 

Said tea-bags then go in the fucking sink.

 

The warm milk goes into the tea. It's generally cold by this point.

 

Hey, presto, tea.

 

I wish I was making any of that up, but I'm not. 

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That's some Hugh Fearnly-Whittingstall shit right there.

 

My girlfriend is a bit of a tidy freak. She will literally walk around behind me picking up fluff that's came off my socks. It's annoying but acceptable. What isn't acceptable is to live to such high standards but them throw entire plates full of food in to the sink, never scraping them.

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Probably a name for the style of it but those camera shots that seem to be the in thing on BBC and Channel 4. Difficult to describe but you'll know which I mean. Where the camera will lazily pan out of focus on the subject whilst keeping some totally random object in focus for half of the screen. Some of the cookery shows seem to be the worst for it. I wanna see what's in the pan. Not an issue if it's now and again but when the entire show is shot that way it can fuck off.

 

Also, when I wanna watch a show on catch-up, I don't want the sign language guy in the corner. How, in this day and age, there isn't an option to switch it off baffles me. Fair fucks for them offering sign language but there should be a choice. I wanna watch my steam engine shows without distraction.

 

People when they play the same song three or four times in a row. I can barely listen to Guns n Roses anymore because of my mam playing some of their tracks on repeat. Three guesses which tracks they were.

 

Similarly to the above, adverts using classic songs annoys me more and more. I'll make a point of never buying Virgin TV after they've used the Good, Bad, Ugly theme on their latest ad.

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Also, when I wanna watch a show on catch-up, I don't want the sign language guy in the corner. How, in this day and age, there isn't an option to switch it off baffles me. Fair fucks for them offering sign language but there should be a choice. I wanna watch my steam engine shows without distraction.

 

 

I think BBC treats these as completely separate broadcasts. And the sign language ones are generally broadcast after the originals. So what will happen is the original will have already expired its time limit for catching up on and all that remains is the sign language one. So that's why it's the only option you see.

 

At least, that's what happened to me recently which is why I know this.

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My missus has a terrible habit of using bread and leaving the bag open afterwards and it drives me mental.  She absolutely refuses to believe that it hastens the molding process considerably and makes the top few slices brick hard.  In fact she generally refuses to believe in any kind of food based bacteria.  She thinks I'm mental because I stack the fridge in a certain order with raw meat at the bottom etc.

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Similarly to the above, adverts using classic songs annoys me more and more. I'll make a point of never buying Virgin TV after they've used the Good, Bad, Ugly theme on their latest ad.

The worst of this is to get a creaky-voiced 19 year old warbler to cover it in a meek way. This was the trend for the department store Christmas ads these past few years.

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