All Purpose Weather Moaning Thread (hot weather is class)

[Scott Malbranque]

Is anyone getting hayfever or allergies? I'm bolloxed and have panda marks under my pits and on my back, and I'm not even the sweaty sort!!!

[Gus Mears]

Can humidity please cunt off back to whatever orifice of hell it came from? Fucking insufferable, the worst of all possible weathers. Give me frost and pestilence and old people dying of frostbite by the bucket load over this sweaty shitstorm.

[Scott Malbranque]

Fully with you and Handsome Butcher there, Stavo. I've had enough now. I actually welcome duvets, shrinkage and hard, shrunken nipples.

[Gus Mears]

Absolutely, I can't wait to have cocktail-sausage todger again. I'll look down at my freezing cold hermitage in the bogs and will think 'I'll gladly take this over humidity and a cock like an engorged donkey'.

Edited September 14, 2016 by Gus Mears

[Guest]

So, just to clarify, when you're in the rather humid bogs at the moment you take a cock like an engorged donkey?

[Gus Mears]

I appreciate the effort to portray me as Wiltshire's answer to Catherine the Great, but you can't read Zeb.

[King Coconut]

'I'll gladly take this over humidity and a cock like an engorged donkey'.

 

Seems pretty open and shut to me.

[Gus Mears]

Not that I particularly mind being labelled an equine-shagger on here, but that doesn't make sense unless I'm completely missing the point or "over humidity" has transformed into the same kind of phrase as "over a coffee" or "over a few salt cubes" without me realising.

Edited September 14, 2016 by Gus Mears

[SpursRiot2012]

Fuck knows. They've added YOLO to the dictionary so anything can mean anything these days.

 

I haven't experienced a day under 31 degrees in nearly 5 weeks now. I was looking forward to arriving back in the UK to some lovely autumnal weather.

[HarmonicGenerator]

It's grey, cold and miserable in the north east today if that's any comfort to anyone.

[FLips]

Aye fog and smog over my way. I prefer it to the heat.

[King Mal the Glorious]

It's grey, cold and miserable in the north east today if that's any comfort to anyone.

It's not cold, I've been wandering about most of today and lost about a stone through sweating

[stevieg1980]

This fucking weather can do one. I'm having hypos in the middle of the night due to this heat. Bring me rain bring me storms I don't care if I'm on holiday in Devon next week.

[Gus Mears]

Weirdly, I'm also on holiday in Devon next week Stevie. I am under no illusions that it will probably piss it down.

 

I got in the office early this morning and altered settings so we are now PUMPING the air-con. It's glorious, like that ice-hotel in Die Another Day, or possible Pingu's igloo. Your tax-payer money hard at work here. I tried having a quick word with my line manager five minutes ago and they couldn't speak, lips frozen shut, hypothermic shock. Whole bit.

[stevieg1980]

Actually supposed to be getting decent 17's, 18's and 19's weather wise next week. That's more than bearable for me. Especially walking a hyperactive 3 year old round the model village.

 

Going Saturday so hoping to go down in a good mood after the reds put one over your lot on Friday night Gus

Edited September 15, 2016 by stevieg1980