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Facebook updates that blow your mind


SpursRiot2012

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"A MUST READ FOR ALL - #repost A lady was a professional prostitute for a living and had a lot of customers around. She knew that no man would ever accept her as a wife, so she went to a hospital and told the doctor to remove her womb so that she would no longer be coming for abortions. After some years, someone introduced the word of God to her and immediately, she gave her life to Christ and started working in the church and became dedicated to God. As time went by, one of the Pastors called her and said 'my sister, 'the Lord spoke to me that you are my wife, i want to marry you.' The lady smiled and said 'Brother, the Lord didn't tell u anything or maybe u didn't hear him clearly, go back cause am not even planning to marry any man. The man came back and said to her again 'the Lord said that u are my wife'. The lady smiled and narrated her story to him. The man still insisted to marry her and she told the Pastor, 'I don't have a womb, I removed it after several abortions', but the pastor still insisted, 'The Lord said u are my wife', so they got married.

 

Not too long after some months she became pregnant. The lady and the man went to the hospital were her womb was removed, the doctor thought she was coming for another business...but the lady told the doctor that 'i am pregnant and i have come to your hospital to register'. The doctor was shocked, with laughter he said, 'u told me to remove your womb, u can no longer have children'. but the lady told him it is the GRACE, FAVOUR and MERCY of GOD that she's pregnant. The doctor conducted a pregnancy test which showed that she was one month pregnant. Out of disbelief and tears, the doctor said, 'please, show me ur God, I want to worship Him'.

 

Not too long the lady gave birth to a baby boy.. IT WAS THE GRACE, FAVOUR AND MERCY OF GOD that the prostitute could have a child. Therefore, I decree upon ur life that whatsoever that has or might have damaged in your life, in your body, in your skills, your carrier, your academics, your business, MAY THE FAVOUR, MERCY, GRACE AND MIRACLE OF GOD LOCATE YOU AS YOU TYPE AMEN TO THIS PRAYER, IN JESUS MIGHTY NAME, AMEN. My brothers & sisters, God still does this kind of miracles, just write "Amen" and share this story to your friends, you will see GOD perform a Miracle in your life!!! ''''' #AMEN

 

The real message to take from that, about the church, is that after all she's been through she is still 'the prostitute' to Christians.

 

For a religion that teaches that only God can judge, Christians don't half give it a bloody good go.

Edited by d-d-d-dAz
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Anyone else seen those Bitstrip cartoons that have been appearing on Facebook lately? Think you can make a cartoon version of yourself and add yourself and your friends to different comic strips. Been seeing a few of those this weekend and have to say I haven't found any of them funny or entertaining. Or maybe that's just me being miserable. Seems to have caught on very quickly and I don't actually see what's so good about it.

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Anyone else seen those Bitstrip cartoons that have been appearing on Facebook lately? Think you can make a cartoon version of yourself and add yourself and your friends to different comic strips. Been seeing a few of those this weekend and have to say I haven't found any of them funny or entertaining. Or maybe that's just me being miserable. Seems to have caught on very quickly and I don't actually see what's so good about it.

 

 

Funnily enough, I've only seen female friends use them LCJ. And indeed, none have been funny. Says it all really.

 

In the past day two of my female friends have posted about 20 of these between them. Prime candidates for deletion.

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I'm glad someone else is getting wound up by those.

 

I'm finding lately that the people annoying me most on facebook are people that I get on really well with in real life and don't want to delete, but whose online personae are totally different- and immeasurably shitter- than their real personalities. They'e also generally the sensitive types who'd get really offended if I were to delete them or call them on the bullshit stuff they're reposting. I've just hidden virtually everyone from my news feed.

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Just got one of those "This is Windows Support" scam phonecalls.

 

Interestingly, they phoned from an actual UK number - but I can't find anywhere to report them. Are there any horrible things I can do with their telephone number? It's 01607 6259911.

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**URGENT**GIRAFFE GAME NOTICE**URGENT**

Just found out that the Giraffe challenge was set up by the hacking group "Anonymous". Apparently they're going to embark on a random 'cleansing' program which will wipe out the bank accounts and hard drives of those people who have giraffe profile pics...A few of my FB friends have already had it happen, so change your pics back!!!!

 

I'm so disappointed that people aren't immediately dismissing this that I can't even be arsed to point it out to them. I'm noting names though for when I come up with my own money making scam.

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I had a couple of friends who bought into the giraffe thing being a scam, I tried to explain to them that you can't get any sort of virus through copying and pasting text of the riddle, but I don't think they really got it, they just said, "oh ok lol"

 

Bitstrip-mania has also swept my Facebook, I've got a couple but I had to sift through a lot of crap to find a couple I like. The most common one I've seen today are the ones of a chick licking a lollipop captioned, "Jealous?" Stupid...

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