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The THIRD UKFF Celebrity Twatlist: WINNER REVEALED!


HarmonicGenerator

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In fairness, Whitehall isn't as bad these days. Think people opinions of him have changed slightly due to good turns in Fresh Meat and Bad Education, maybe to a lesser extent A League of Their Own. I for one couldn't stand the prick but i can actually tolerate him now.

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I'm interested in Magnum's Girls Aloud fitness rankings now. I'd have her fourth, personally.

WalshHardingTweedyRoberts CoyleRankings based on consistency of fitness. At all of their peaks, Harding tops it, but Calum Best ruined her, the selfish balding cunt. Admittedly my low ranking of Coyle is controversial, but the combination of twig legs and her baritone speaking voice are a massive turn-off for me.
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That's a decent ranking, I have to say. I'd go:-HardingWalshCoyleTweedyRobertsNothing against the ginger one, there is something about her, but she is a bit like the Barry from Four Lions in the group.

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Sod it, I'm going to give you one more tonight. I've worked out a schedule for the countdown which should result in the final twats being revealed on Thursday 8th November (I'm off to visit the girlfriend for the weekend on the 9th, and a three day interruption just wouldn't be right for all you loyal readers, ha ha).

 

So, with that being said, here's your last one for today, and all being well, you can expect another four twats (a twat-tet?) tomorrow.

 

 

 

 

DISCLAIMER: All views and opinions within the Twatlist are just that; views and opinions. No views within the Twatlist are my own. I love everybody. Especially celebrities :love:

 

 

 

 

27

Joey Barton

(New entry)

 

 

joey-barton.jpg

 

 

What's he famous for?

It's supposed to be football.

 

 

And you think he's a twat because...

Probably that whole prison-sentence, suspended-sentence, charged-three-times-with-violent-conduct stuff (which all actually happened, so Wikipedia tells me). "Violent thug. Enough said," according to The Natural (voted #4). But is it enough? Not for Nexus (voted #7), who elaborates: "Thug. Retarded Tweeter. Moron. Twatdonkey. Shithead. I despise him." Ronnie (voted #1), who considers Barton "a thug and wholly unrepentant at that," cannot disagree. He continues, "He's even higher on the list than he would otherwise be because his prominence highlights the immorality of the football world at large: he's a time-tested troublemaker who should be shunned, yet when he commits some act that causes him to be unviable at Club A, Club B immediately comes and snaps him up, after which he predictably implodes and Club C then gives him a lucrative contract."

 

A sad state of affairs. But what to do about it? Gladstone Small (voted #10) has an idea. "Now," he tells Joey, "fuck off."

 

 

Twat tweet!

Barton's famous for his tweeting, there's far too many to choose from and I have not the will nor the fortitude to trawl through his entire feed. Needless to say, there have been some classics. Follow him, you know you want to.

 

 

And we're obliged to ask... does he have shit on the market?

Not much, to be honest. But according to Amazon, he has a book coming out next year...

 

 

Twat Stat!

Barton is the first of four currently-active footballers to make this year's Twatlist. Can you guess the other three?

 

 

Was he voted Top Twat?

Yes. Step forward, Ronnie.

 

 

And so to summarise, Joey Barton is worse than:

Only getting one fucking number on the Euromillions. Or being attacked in Liverpool city centre, or something.

Edited by HarmonicGenerator
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Frankie gets it almost bang on. Everyone else- stop doing Girls Aloud drastically wrong!Makes you realise that compared to Girls Aloud and Spice Girls, The Saturdays really are bloody gorgeous aren't they?

You can't put Girls Aloud in the same category as the Spice Girls. Even as a sex-starved 15-year old (as opposed to a sex-starved 21-year old when Girls Aloud came onto the scene), I realised that the Spice Girls were rancid. Geri Haliwell and Victoria Beckham were the fucking pin-ups of the group, for crying out loud!
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Very true, but at the time it didn't even dawn on me how rank they were. Looking back, other than Baby I'd pass up the others (in a manner of speaking). Perhaps Geri if I were half-cut and in need of some filth.

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LMFAO don't make the chart for not doing anything slightly redeeming, but Joey Barton does for handing Man City the title? Fackin Bolsheht.

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