Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted October 29, 2012 Author Awards Moderator Share Posted October 29, 2012 (edited) DISCLAIMER: All views and opinions within the Twatlist are just that; views and opinions. No views within the Twatlist are my own. I love everybody. Especially celebrities 29 Cheryl (2011 ranking: 5. Down 24) What's she famous for? Well, she's not on X Factor anymore... so... she's famous for... not being on X Factor anymore. That'll do. And you think she's a twat because... Cheryl's not been in the public eye nearly as much as she was at the time of the last Twatlist; possibly a reason for her drop in the rankings. "Another star whose time has passed and needs to move on," begins Snake Plissken (voted #9) - but not before she "singlehandedly ruined the Queen's concert earlier this year." KingOfMetal (voted #6) explains that "I was quite glad when she got the X Factor US job, as it meant she'd be fucking off over there trying to make a career, but even the yanks didn't want her," while Magnum (voted #9), who considers her "a nasty piece of work", hates "the fact that she thinks Simon Cowell somehow 'betrayed' her by sacking her from US X-Factor. Considering he's pretty much solely responsible for the fact she's seen as anything more than the third-prettiest one out of Girls Aloud, she shouldn't read too much into her 'achievement' of standing next to the winner of X Factor." Nation's Sweetheart no more, then. Twat tweet! Here is a sample tweet from Tweedy Cole, from September 25 of this year: "These weekly magazine 'journalists' are not right in the head ! Go write some fictional novels or something and get it out of your system .. Btw quite scary that you pay these people weekly to tell the most ridiculous lies to you. You're being #muggedoff .. Lol !" And another, from August 5: "Why are some of these commentators speaking like its a nature program and the animals mustn't hear ! Lololol Weird! #Olymipcs2012" And we're obliged to ask... does she have shit on the market? Fuck that, she's got her own market! A whole Cheryl shop on her official site! Twat Stat! Wor Cheryl's 24 place drop in the rankings is the biggest such drop in this year's list! Was she voted Top Twat? Not this time. And so to summarise, Cheryl is worse than: A fall from grace into obscurity. Edited October 29, 2012 by HarmonicGenerator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted October 29, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted October 29, 2012 I'm interested in Magnum's Girls Aloud fitness rankings now. I'd have her fourth, personally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PSF Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 I'm interested in Magnum's Girls Aloud fitness rankings now. I'd have her fourth, personally.She might be a twat, but thats bollocks. Although, i'm assuming the ginger one rates dead last in everybodies list? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members PunkStep Posted October 29, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted October 29, 2012 The code is:KimberleyNadineNicolaCherylSarah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PSF Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 (edited) Are you lot serious??? ^^^that is better than Cheryl??? Have a word lads! And I think I have been very nice with the pics I used, thats a good one. Edited October 29, 2012 by PSF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted October 29, 2012 Moderators Share Posted October 29, 2012 Her and Cheryl are the only two I could pick out of a line up. Therefore, my favourite two.And since Cheryl is a repugnant piece of shit, she is number one by default. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members PunkStep Posted October 29, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted October 29, 2012 Ginge over Cheryl all day long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members CleetusVanDamme Posted October 29, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted October 29, 2012 CherylIrishNot IrishSarah (distant fourth if she's still got short hair)Ginger Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PSF Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 Ginge over Cheryl all day long.Bet your an awesome wingman. Take one for the team a lot do you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted October 29, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted October 29, 2012 Sarah (distant fourth if she's still got short hair)She hasn't Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted October 29, 2012 Author Awards Moderator Share Posted October 29, 2012 (edited) DISCLAIMER: All views and opinions within the Twatlist are just that; views and opinions. No views within the Twatlist are my own. I love everybody. Especially celebrities 28 Chris Brown (New entry) What's he famous for? Music, and that incident you all know about but that I'm not going to get into in case we get into trouble. And you think he's a twat because... Okay, I don't know if we can avoid that incident you all know about him but that I don't want to get into in case we get into trouble. He assaulted Rihanna, he has admitted that it happened and has accepted "full responsibility", all according to Wikipedia. So, with that in mind, over to air_raid (voted #10): "This twat only became famous because he knocked shit out of Rihanna, and somehow has fashioned a career for himself. There are loads of people making the same music and making it better than him, but he gets hype and attention and record sales, because people know who he is. Because he knocked shit out of Rihanna. Twat." "Chris Brown is a truly abhorrent human being," adds Gladstone Small (voted #3), "and apologists for him are, in some ways, almost as bad. RIHANNA'S SUBSEQUENT BEHAVIOUR IS IRRELEVANT. HE STILL BEAT HER TO A BLOODY PULP." On the point of fans and apologists, Nexus (voted #6) agrees, arguing that "really, this [nomination] is more down to the Chris Brown fans - the sorts of people who were tweeting "I'd let him beat me any day" and other similar shit. He can fuck right off though, woman-beating, shit music spewing dickhead." Gladstone goes a bit further than fucking off, though... "I hope you and 'Team Breezy' all die screaming in front of your families and pets at the hands of a giant runaway combine harvester." Dear me. Twat tweets! Here's an inspirational tweet from Chris, from September 27 of this year: "If u don't dream... U don't live!" And another from the 21st of the same month: "Lord help me as I take these last steps to freedom. Becoming a better man is something I work on everyday." Well, that's nice, I suppose. And finally, a plea for literacy from July 30: "The world is so bent on social acceptance that we've forgotten what makes us special... Our individuality! #Imdone #readabookbitch" Indeed. Read a book, bitch. And we're obliged to ask... does he have shit on the market? You'll be pleased to know that Team Breezy (yes, that's what the fans are really called) can buy whatever they like from his very own online store! I'm not linking to it though. Find it yourself. Twat Stat! Brown received more overall votes than his ex Rihanna, but Rihanna received twice as many top 3 nominations as Brown! In fact, Brown just beat Rihanna... into the top 30. Here's what some of you had to say about Rihanna: patdfb says: "Stuff like 'Diamonds' and the repetition of 'Shine Bright like a Diamond' over and over again is akin to a jackhammer smashing your brain to a million pieces and creating a new type of brain death." Dr.PeterVenkman says: "also she's nowhere near as fit as she was 5 years ago." Was he voted Top Twat?' He was not. And so to summarise, Chris Brown is worse than: Hypothetical domestic abuse victims who hypothetically forgive their hypothetical abuser. Hypothetically. Edited October 29, 2012 by HarmonicGenerator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members air_raid Posted October 29, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted October 29, 2012 Cheryl doesn't "do it" for me, for some reason. She's pretty, but I've never once considered her "sexy." She's a better-than-average looking mannequin who I've never once wanted to stick my dick in. I used to like Nadine but she lost far too much weight. Through accidentally leaving on BBC2 after Eggheads and catching a bit of Strictly Take Two I have come to adore Kimberly. Wow. Why would you even bother putting that endorsement on the front? Might as well just label it "made by cunts, for cunts." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forrest Posted October 29, 2012 Share Posted October 29, 2012 I had Chris Brown as number 2 as well. Bastard.I am absolutely certain my number 1 will rank very highly, even though I didn't vote. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted October 29, 2012 Author Awards Moderator Share Posted October 29, 2012 (edited) And that's your lot for the countdown today. But before we resume tomorrow, here's your first selection of the 100+ nominees who didn't make the list! Andy Murray! Jack Whitehall! ("“A lovingly crafted and moulded ball of TWAT”" - El Nicko Loco) Snooki! Vince Cable! Patrick Lennon! Ed Sheeran! ("“What the fuck type of cave troll is this creature? No wonder he writes so much shoe-gazing shite, I'd have my eyes permanently fixed on my feet too if the chance of encountering a mirror presented me with that monstrosity… I know you can't polish a turd, but in his case it's like he's tried to polish the turd with a veneer of piss and a second coat of wank-filled vomit.”" - Magnum) Cher Lloyd! Chael Sonnen! Phil Thompson! Simon Mayo! LMFAO! ("“STFU & GTFO"” - seph) and finally... Gareth Malone! Edited October 29, 2012 by HarmonicGenerator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Nick James Posted October 29, 2012 Paid Members Share Posted October 29, 2012 Ahhh dammit, Gareth Malone was in my list. The Twat! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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