Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted November 4, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 4, 2011 I always check after wiping. I don't want skid marks. Â Once though, I done a shit that was so big (it was fucking massive. It hurt to get it out and made my arse bleed), that I took a photo of it and sent it to my mates. It was a good 8 inches long, and about a 4 inch circumfrence. It was both glorious to behold and disgusting in its nature. Â Or a 'Pillman' as any gigantic shit should now be known as. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richie Freebird Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 I try to shit at work everyday I'm there. Â I do myself, but its more because the very principle of getting paid to be having a shit amuses me somewhat. Â How the fuck can you not? If you need to shit, then you need to shit. Deny it and you'll end up with the runs. Â That being said, I never once did it at school. At that age the image and upkeep of reputation comes above anything else, including having shits. I had my body working almost clock work in them days, home / shit / paper round. Every day. Â Once though, I done a shit that was so big (it was fucking massive. It hurt to get it out and made my arse bleed), that I took a photo of it and sent it to my mates. It was a good 8 inches long, and about a 4 inch circumfrence. It was both glorious to behold and disgusting in its nature. Â The biggest one I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Astro Hollywood Posted November 4, 2011 Moderators Share Posted November 4, 2011 I pee sitting down (due to an accident I had once). I don't mind doing a shit at work but I went through 13 years of school without ever doing one there. never done a shit in a public toilet either. Just realised "accident" makes it sound like I pissed myself or on the floor. it was neither, it was much more painful.  Hold on. Do you mean you had a painful accident which left you with an injury/medical reason requiring you to sit down, or that you sit down because you had a painful accident while standing to do weewees, and fear repeating this incident? If it's the latter, I can't fathom what that might be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forrest Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 While we're on the subject, I would like to bring up the topic of lapping the bowl during a piss. As much an institution as pissing at the urinal cake to push it to the end, what's your record? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators neil Posted November 4, 2011 Moderators Share Posted November 4, 2011 I pee sitting down (due to an accident I had once). I don't mind doing a shit at work but I went through 13 years of school without ever doing one there. never done a shit in a public toilet either. Just realised "accident" makes it sound like I pissed myself or on the floor. it was neither, it was much more painful.  Hold on. Do you mean you had a painful accident which left you with an injury/medical reason requiring you to sit down, or that you sit down because you had a painful accident while standing to do weewees, and fear repeating this incident? If it's the latter, I can't fathom what that might be. My guess is that Rick had his balls resting on the toilet with the seat up. As he unleashed a strong jet of piss the seat came down crushing his knackers. Coincidently, this event caused him to lose his hair a la Duncan Goodhew. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Astro Hollywood Posted November 4, 2011 Moderators Share Posted November 4, 2011 I think he caught a reflection of himself in the mirror on the medicine cabinet while he was pissing, instantly became incredibly aroused, and the resulting erection saw him spew a wild arc of piss up onto the ceiling, directly into an empty light-socket, electrocuting him, and causing him to lose his hair ala Duncan Goodhew. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Bus Surfer Posted November 4, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 4, 2011 (edited) Longevity~ Â Pissing directly into the toilet water at night always sounds loud as fuck, so I always try and hit the bowl, this usually leads to piss on the seat/rim. I fucking hate that. Edited November 4, 2011 by Mr Stu Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members ShortOrderCook Posted November 4, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 4, 2011 Longevity~Â Pissing directly into the toilet water at night always sounds loud as fuck, so I always try and hit the bowl, this usually leads to piss on the seat/rim. I fucking hate that. Â And just think, Steve Justice probably does this. And later sits on the fucking thing. Sickening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Pitcos Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 My most embarrassing (admittable) toilet mishap was when I was staying at a mate's house in the summer holidays. His little brother brushed his teeth for about half an hour purely to stop me being able to use their bathroom, so I had to go in the outhouse. I didn't know where the light switch was. So I just guessed, aimwise. About half an hour later, his mother started screaming because the floor was flooded with urine. I had to go and clean it up with a million sheets of toilet paper. I'm baffled now as to why I neither sat down nor thought "that doesn't sound like it's hitting the toilet water" at any point during the pissing process. I wasn't drunk, and I was at least sixteen. I didn't even consider the possibility that I was missing the target the entire time. I'd never had to aim for a toilet bowl in pitch black before, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members SpursRiot2012 Posted November 4, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 4, 2011 Should have said it wasn't you. How can they prove otherwise? Deny, deny, deny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Wretch Posted November 4, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 4, 2011 Just remembered a toilet mishap from when I was about about five or six years old. Saturday night and I'm having my bath, when my mother tells me she's popping downstairs for a few minutes. During her absence, I step out of the bath, slip on the wet floor and crack my chin off the toilet. Naturally, someone had put the seat up so I connected with the porcelain. Â There was a whole lotta crying done that night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 I pee sitting down (due to an accident I had once). I don't mind doing a shit at work but I went through 13 years of school without ever doing one there. never done a shit in a public toilet either. Just realised "accident" makes it sound like I pissed myself or on the floor. it was neither, it was much more painful.  Hold on. Do you mean you had a painful accident which left you with an injury/medical reason requiring you to sit down, or that you sit down because you had a painful accident while standing to do weewees, and fear repeating this incident? If it's the latter, I can't fathom what that might be.  His penis and scrotum was accidentally removed during a routine surgery, so he has to sit down to pee. The hormonal shock resulting from the removal of the testes also caused him to lose his hair a la Duncan Goodhew. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wolveswrestling Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 When I used to go out a lot when I was younger, one of mates would never piss in a urinal, no matter what it took he would always have to use a toilet even it was filthy or there was a massive queue. He would never tell us why. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Chilly McFreeze Posted November 4, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 4, 2011 When I used to go out a lot when I was younger, one of mates would never piss in a urinal, no matter what it took he would always have to use a toilet even it was filthy or there was a massive queue. He would never tell us why. Â Stage fright? Â I'm on the shitter as i type this by the way. Fairly routine so far but i'll report back if anything out of the ordinary happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Chilly McFreeze Posted November 4, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 4, 2011 When I used to go out a lot when I was younger, one of mates would never piss in a urinal, no matter what it took he would always have to use a toilet even it was filthy or there was a massive queue. He would never tell us why. Â Stage fright? Â I'm on the shitter as i type this by the way. Fairly routine so far but i'll report back if anything out of the ordinary happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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