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Frankie Crisp

Personal Low Points/The Weirdo Thread

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i've pissed on a grave.

 

I've collected money for charity that i drank.

 

And i nearly killed someone in a prank gone wrong. For about 1hr i thought he might be dead.

 

I have not wanted in public or shat myself.

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Update - I might have the clap. That's going to be my personal low point if it proves to be the case. I'll keep you posted.

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Got pissed with a group of work mates at the crimbo beano, was dared to jump on the bonet of the next car so I did only after trying to jump on to the roof and catching my foot on a set of blue lights did I relise it was a cop car...

 

Slid off the roof over the boot and on to the floor whilst the rest of the group pissed themselfs laughing...

 

Cops got out and walked to the back of the car after picking me up off the floor they told me I was a "silly boy" and needed my bottom spanking!

 

They were from my station!

 

 

Another time another job we talked the new boy into going in to the alley behind a club with Lucy one of the people in the office for a bit of how's your father... She started sucking his cock then imagine his shock when down and dirty with her it turns out she was a pre-op transexual!

 

Poor kid was never the same after!

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Update - I might have the clap. That's going to be my personal low point if it proves to be the case. I'll keep you posted.

 

Get the hell away from me, Scotty Anton.

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Do yer know what.

 

Can you imagine if all the posters in this thread got together for a weekend's drinking and mischeif?

 

I've always mentioned this a few times in chat on the downlow, a forum meet up of some of the players... out on the hunt for forum ring rats would be lush

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My contribution to this thread is something that happened 5/6 years ago that most blokes would fantasise over or consider 'legendary'. In truth it hurt me deeply and nearly cost me some good friends.

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A similar thing happened with and my friends Mum, but I'm thoroughly unashamed by it. I was young, she was rather fit for her age, nobody got hurt. It's entirely possible my friend doesn't know about it.

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Wanking into a pair of my mums soiled knickers.

Holy Fuck!

I would not want to think too much about what could top that.

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Wanking into a pair of my mums soiled knickers.

Holy Fuck!

I would not want to think too much about what could top that.

 

What fleischmark isn't telling you is that she was still in them.

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Wanking into a pair of my mums soiled knickers.

Holy Fuck!

I would not want to think too much about what could top that.

 

What fleischmark isn't telling you is that she was still in them.

While his Dad filmed it and his Gran did commentary.

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There's a few that come to mind for me, but like a few other people, the really funny/grim stories aren't the ones I feel are genuinely my lowest points.. More just embarrassing, and frankly I'd rather just hold my hands up and laugh at myself. Anyway:

 

Shat myself on an escalator at the age of 20. Was leaving to live in the states for a year the following day, and popped to my mate's pub to say goodbye, he gave me a couple of pints of snakebite made of biddenden's and skullsplitter, pretty strong stuff for my already hung over guts. Then ate a bucket of chicken in my g/f's car, got as far as the shopping centre we were aiming for, was running for the gents which was two floors up, gambled on a fart and creosoted my own legs. Had to ditch my pants in the gents.

 

Shat in a pint glass in my room when my housemate was taking forever in the bathroom. Both of these stories I guess could be considered low points but I'm not particularly ashamed. My guts get angry when I'm hungover, may as well make people laugh with a story than get all embarrassed about it.

 

Oh, also once came on to my mate's missus in the back of a cab. While he sat on the other side of me. Luckily he had a drunken crack at my missus a while later so we called it even.

 

Slept with a couple of married women. One a work colleague at a conference, when she had only been back from her honeymoon a month. In my defence, the husband was an abusive fuckhead and she'd only got married to satisfy their families and because it had been planned for ages and a ton of money spent on it, and she was divorced as soon as possible anyway. But I didn't really know any of that at the time. The other was a friend's sister from San Diego who was visiting here for a couple months as her marriage was in tatters, again the guy was controlling and violent- to the extent that when they did split up she needed a police escort to get her stuff back. She'd already decided to divorce him before meeting me, so I don't feel enormously bad about that one either, really.

 

 

As for genuine low points, it's all relationship stuff. I had a girlfriend in the US when I moved back here, we were going to do the long distance thing and I cheated on her for a long time before finally coming clean. Kidded myself that I really didn't know what I wanted, or that I'd put a stop to it and stay with her, but in actual fact I was just being a selfish prick. I went out there for the last time to visit her and told her we needed to break up, didn't admit why, she kicked me out, I stayed in a motel 6 for the rest of the week and flew home a week early. I think sitting in the hotel room with only a deck of cards for company, living off of vending machine snacks for three days because I didn't drive and it was a foot deep in snow outside, knowing I'd been such a prick, hurt her that much and STILL hadn't had the decency to be honest was probably the worst I've ever felt about myself.

 

Also, I used to have a tendency to be a real prick with girlfriends when I've had a drink, my possessive insecure side comes out and I get angry over absolutely stupid little things. Got it under control now, probably down to being older and less stupid and more secure. But there's a few times over the years where I'e woken up on the sofa, had a few moments of ignorant bliss before remembering starting a stupid row and being really spiteful the night before. Those are the ones that really make me cringe.

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