Glenryck Pilchards Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 APA: Always Pounding Ass ....she was loyal to David Flair- although he was less Space Mountain and more the slow carousel at the local carnival. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 THE EROTIC ADVENTURES OF SCOTT STEINER by Tony James. Â "Gimme a fucking mic" screamed Mae Young as she knelt naked in front of the big bad booty daddy. Scott obliged immediately, shoving his throbbing cock down the throat of the horny hag. Greedily, her eager mouth devoured Big Poppa's Pump, her saggy decrepid tits slapping against her kneecaps. She paused for a moment to remove her teeth. Steiner grinned a filthy grin, "I thought you were going to bite off my foreskin and turn me into a fucking Jew, now keep sucking and then it'll be Ricks turn. Â Rick was stood in the corner, weeping and sobbing quietly as he masturbated while thinking of Daniel Benoit. He didn't mind getting sloppy seconds, it was more than the mongoloid was used to, he patiently waited his turn, his diseased mind focussing on strangled children. Â After she gagged and threw up for a third time, Mae went to the bathroom in the small room in the Premier Inn located outside Cromer. But Steiner wanted more. While she had a piss and was wiping her disgusting old cuntflaps, Scott darted across the room, did a handstand so his iron veiny shaft ended up in the OAP's gaping maw and flipped her off the toilet so she ended up a wrinkled haggard heap on the floor opposite. 'It was the first time he'd utilised a Frankensteiner in this way, but it felt good. Now, it was Ricks turn. Â Rick didn't care for hygiene. He didn't cultivate his groinal garden at all. Mae was hesitant when she viewed his button mushroom cock, his pubic area was as unkempt as Terry Waites lawn. This didn't stop her. She gobbled away on his smelly prick when she felt a hand grab her hair. Scott said "Time to make your granny ass a Steiner Vagina". Â Lube was never going to be an option. Â At the fourth attempt, Scott found her arsehole amidst the folds of flabby, lifeless skin. Mae wailed with a full mouth of Rick's rancid dick as the booty daddy thrust ever more powerfully into her crypt like dirt box. He was relentless, he pounded and pounded as if he was suplexing HHH for the thirteenth time. Rick was about to cum. Softly he moaned "Maddie, Maddie" as Mae tickled his Gooch. Scott was by now at full pelt. He was going to blow up in a pensioners arse for the second time that week. Rick was making noises like a spastic on a water slide. Mae could take no more. She climaxed with ferocity. Her body shook with such regularity and force, it resembled Muhammed Ali and Michael J Fox dancing the Lambada on a slightly turbulent cruise ship. This pushed the brothers to the point of no return. Scott painted her cobwebbed brown doors white. Rick was finished by Mae's mouth and with a guttural cry of "BULGER", he was no more. Â The following morning, the Eastern European chambermaid opened the room to find Mae disembowelled and shit smeared on her face and mouth. Rick was naked in the bathroom. He has used her lower intestine to hang himself. Â FIN Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthSeaTiger Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 Jesus Christ Houchen. I could barely read that for laughing!! My missus was giving me some odd looks. Close the thread, we have a winner!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shane O' Mac Version 2 Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 If we close the thread, we won't get any more masterpieces in the following rounds! Houchen, I was in admiration of your creativity, but very, very, disturbed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members chokeout Posted April 22, 2013 Paid Members Share Posted April 22, 2013 I have this one in the bag, I'm easily the most perverted and depraved person I have ever met   THE EROTIC ADVENTURES OF SCOTT STEINER by Tony James. Rick was stood in the corner, weeping and sobbing quietly as he masturbated while thinking of Daniel Benoit. He didn't mind getting sloppy seconds, it was more than the mongoloid was used to, he patiently waited his turn, his diseased mind focussing on strangled children.  You've obviously never met Houchen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Wretch Posted April 22, 2013 Paid Members Share Posted April 22, 2013 THE EROTIC ADVENTURES OF SCOTT STEINER by Tony James. . . . . Â Jesus fucking Christ. How does someone come up with that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrankCastle Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 Fucking hell, mine is tame compared to that. Although does it count as necrophilia? If I get through to the next round I hope I get the chance for a real heavy hitter, like Batista rupturing a whole in the side of Melina's mouth with his violent throbbing fuckpipe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fan of Arse Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 Her body shook with such regularity and force, it resembled Muhammed Ali and Michael J Fox dancing the Lambada on a slightly turbulent cruise ship. Â Thia might be the best line ever posted on the UKFF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
d-d-d-dAz Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 It lacks the punch of 'Rick was making noises like a spastic on a water slide'. Â Lots of real life laughing at that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Callum1993 Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 Houchen. My fucking god. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigfoote Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 I am going to hell...and I'll be travelling in Business class.....Houchen, you wonderful, twisted fucker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members air_raid Posted April 22, 2013 Paid Members Share Posted April 22, 2013 Will it require actual cash to persuade Butch to immortalize Houchen's entry in mp3 format? A more deserving sequel to House Of Cum, I cannot imagine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators PowerButchi Posted April 22, 2013 Moderators Share Posted April 22, 2013 I'm free on Wednesday, I'm verbally immortalising that. Â his pubic area was as unkempt as Terry Waites lawn. Â Line of the fucking millennium. See Tattoos are gay, you're for show, Houchen's for go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Egg Shen Posted April 22, 2013 Paid Members Share Posted April 22, 2013 Keith Houchen is a sick puppy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators PowerButchi Posted April 22, 2013 Moderators Share Posted April 22, 2013 SERVING HARD TIMES  "Oh, c'mon love, it's filthy in here!"  The Big Boss Man was doing his rounds, and was quite angry at the girl from the agency who was in to clean the cells.  "Get on all fours and scrub that floor!"  A prisoner looked and saw the cleaner in his cell and verbalised.  "Oo-er!"  She was about 40, blonde and not very pretty, but was dolled up like she was 20 and everyone had to pretend she was fit despite not nearly being as fit as Dilys Laye, Amanda Barrie, or even Joan Sims in her day to be fair. She got on her hands and knees and scrubbed the floor. The prisoner spoke.  "Cor! You're alright rubbing it on all fours aren't you love?"  "Oh, Cheeky!"  The Big Boss Man looked over and chucked.  "HYUCK HYUCK HYUCK! And look at those Bristols!"  Nailz replied  "Not many of those to the pound is there, love!"  "Oi, less it you, before I give you a right good seeing to with my nightstick!"  The ugly cleaner who's meant to be fit replied...  "That's a big truncheon. I wouldn't like a seeing to with that!"  With saying that she fell over and her maid costume fell off and quick saxophone music played.  "Cor!", said Nailz. "Let's go twos on the cracking bird!"  The Big Boss Man started walking towards Nailz cell. He looked at her average norks as 'Boss Man readjusted his sunglasses and continued apace. He entered the cell.  "Oh Crikey, my trousers have only gawn and fallen awf!"  And they did with an audible twang.  "But I tell you now, ugly cleaner, you shouldn't be socialising with convicts, especially Nailz, in his cell. It's a legal issue too. If you don't get clothed and leave right now you're liable to get a hefty fine!"  "Are you saying you're going to give me a big stiff one?"  Big Boss Man slipped on the suds and fell on top of her, Nailz tried to pick them up but also fell over. Just as it looked to be getting a bit sexy, Charles Hawtrey walked in.  "Oh, Heellllloooo!"  Then it faded out to Peter Butterworth talking to Julian Holloway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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