50 Shades of UKFF: an Erotica Competition

[Shane O' Mac Version 2]

I’m Sorry, I Love You

 

Those immortal words were barely said above a whisper, yet the 75,000 fans in the Citrus Bowl caught it all. Shawn Michaels and Ric Flair delivered the wrestling equivalent of the Shawshank Redemption in terms of theatrical mastery. They stole the show in Flair’s farewell, so it was only fitting that they would return for a curtain call once the cameras stopped rolling.

 

The crowd erupted as these two legends re-entered the ring, but it was nothing compared to the explosion that was to come. They embraced once more, and then… they started passionately kissing. The crowd, first in shock, slowly began to react, a mixture of cheers and boos, but with the boos winning out from a macho, somewhat homophobic crowd. J.R leapt up from the announce table. Surely, being an old school Southern man, Jim Ross would set this abomination straight!

 

But HBK knew differently. J.R. walked behind Flair and pulled down his wrestling trunks. This in itself was no huge surprise, the WWE fans saw Ric’s bare ass on a weekly basis. Flair turned around in mild surprise, and his semi segued into a sensational stiffy as he looked down to find the voice of the WWE on his knees, wearing his familiar crooked smile.

 

Michaels laughed softly. “Go on, J.R. Make like L.L Cool J and rock those Bells!” J.R had quite the reputation backstage for giving blowjobs that transcended the rough fellatio attempts by Patterson. The facial paralysis provided a technique that was impossible to duplicate. J.R’s face usually resembled a bulldog eating mayonnaise after one of his trademark “slobberknockers”.

 

On this special night, J.R had something different in mind. He motioned with his left hand for HBK to kneel beside him- his right hand was busy fingering Naitch’s ass for added prostate stimulation. Flair removed his cock from J.R’s sagging mouth, and the resulting ejaculation was a torrent of semen straight at the Sexy Boy’s face. Cum dripped down Shawn’s jaw, falling like soft notes of his favourite sweet chin music.

 

After a gruelling 20 minute match and that exertion, Flair flopped in more ways than one, crashing to the mat nose-first unconscious, busting his face up once again. Normally, the crowd would greet this with cheers, but they had not made a sound since J.R had joined in. As Ross and Michaels looked out at the crowd now, the only audible noise was the faint sound of 75,000 fans fapping, and the occasional moan of a ROH-bot.

 

J.R tore away his pants like a Magic Mike stripper, and it was game on. As usual, J.R. shot in for a big takedown slam that resulted in HBK landing in the referee’s position. He had no time for foreplay on his night, the people wanted a big finish. He speared through Shawn’s wrestling tights like a knife, striking his back pussy with precision. HBK hadn’t experienced this since 1998 before the Rumble, and his back gave way, leading Ross to go into back mount and continue pounding away.

 

This ended quickly- J.R. was in it for a good time, not a long time. The unthinkable had happened, J.R left Michaels and Flair laying in the ring. The crowd erupted, both with cheers and cum, showering each other in the world’s biggest bukkake. Flair was the first to stir from his sexually driven slumber, and he was distraught. Not only had his time passed as a professional wrestler, he was obviously no longer the best fuck in the locker room. Ric's tears mingled with the blood and fluids on the mat. Those remaining in the audience cheered on their hero.

[Bellenda Carlisle]

Entered by Sandman

A Steve 'Big' Knobs joint.

 

Sandman was in a foul mood, he was storming around backstage at ECW with a face like thunder, he'd just been beaten by Justin Credible in the main event, he was bloody, he was bruised, he was drunk and he was getting laid no matter what.

 

He'd had his eye on a new girl in ECW called Miss Congeniality, she would later go on to find fame as Lita in WWE but back then she was a hot piece of ass fresh from training in Mexico who was playing the role of Danny Doring's girlfriend, she was also the only girl to come through ECW who Sandman hadn't fucked retarded, that was about to change and he was finally about to meet his match.

 

The other boys were showering but that just wasn't Sandman's style, stalking the corridors alone he arrived at a locker room where Lita was wearing her street clothes, she looked like she was about to leave, Sandman stared at her with dead eyes like a shark through the smoke of the cigarette he was puffing on. He closed the door behind him and without taking his eyes off her he cracked open his 17th can of beer of the evening and look a swig. Lita looked up smiling, he thought she'd put up a fight but he could see in her eyes she was eager. With his empty hand he tore off her Sex Pistols T-Shirt, she wasn't wearing a bra and her big fake tits caught his eye, he smiled to himself showing a flicker of emotion for the first time since he entered the room. He shoved her over carelessly and she landed uncomfortably on the floor, she looked up into his eyes licking her lips. Sandman thought he could teach this new girl a thing or two but little did he know she'd fucked her way across every locker room in Mexico and this was nothing new to her, she wanted it too.

 

Sandman tore Lita's jeans off and stood over her staring at her as he undid his belt, he removed his clothes and was standing naked, his physique reminiscent of a bloated corpse with a massive erection. Sandman pinned Lita down by the shoulders onto the uncomfortable debris on the floor.

She was horny and although Sandman's breath smelt like booze, his armpits smelt like fried onions and his cock smelt like piss, Lita's standards were low, he was certainly no more disgusting than countless men she'd been with before in Mexico, the Indies and elsewhere. Her coldsore dotted lips met his puke coated mouth as they embraced passionately, he roughly grabbed at her scarred fake tits then started sucking them and nibbling her nipples with his yellow teeth while he pawed wildly at her bucket-like snatch. Lita moaned, she needed his kendo stick inside her now. Sandman took out his cigarette briefly and spat a tobacco stained gob onto her already soaking cunt, It didn't occur to either one of them for a second to bring up the subject of condoms as Sandman pulled back his hips and thrust his 10" rod easily up Lita's wet snatch, it was loose from the many men that had been there before him. Their genital warts bumped against each other's as Sandman pounded his boner hard into Lita's wet muff mercilessly over and over again.

Sandman was really going for it, possibly too hard as his scabby forehead that had been busted open earlier in the night suddenly started leaking and blood dripped down Sandman's heaving sweaty face. The sight of the blood made Lita's eyes light up and she scratched hard into his back with her nails, drawing yet more disease riddled plasma from the Sandman's pungent torso. Sandman fancied a change of position so pulled Lita over to a couch in the corner with a few pillows on it, he bent her over face down into a pillow with her peachy arse in the air. Gripping the pillow tight, Sandman put out his cigarette and got to work, pounding her hard from behind while blood poured from his head. She was fingering her clit as he ploughed in and out of her like a piston, soon she exclaimed in pleasure as she came in waves, Sandman kept pounding until he could take no more and thick jizz started erupting from him, filling up Lita's already dirty quim with all sorts of infectious offerings.

 

She handed him a beer and a cigarette from her bag, took one for herself and they sat down next to each other naked on the couch in satisfied silence.

[HarmonicGenerator]

Deadline for this round is tonight. We've 4 entries out of 8 - if the four of you want to carry on, we'll do a final four sort of thing with one winner. Alternatively, you can all be proclaimed joint winners now - the choice is yours!

[UK Kat Von D]

I'm going to have to pass. Haven't had a day off this month and not had the time. Plus my original post was unanimously binned so I won't put anyone else through the shit I came up with for this round

[PowerButchi]

Cocknobs, forgot about this. Ho-hum.

[HarmonicGenerator]

You can still post if you want! I won't have a chance to sort the final round (if indeed there is one) today anyway, so you can slip me a late entry (har har har) if you want.

[Bellenda Carlisle]

HG, as great as your storylines have been I think if this goes another round people making up their own stories would be the best way to settle it.

[HarmonicGenerator]

Right then. To the four who are left, it's all or nothing now. Shane O Mac Version 2, Steve 'Big' Jobs, Frank Castle, Tommy! Only one of you will win. Or, if this continues the way it's been so far, only one of you will post. Nevertheless, we'll have a winner somehow.

 

The final round is a bit different. Instead of you being assigned a scenario, I will post a list of possible scenarios below. You pick the one you'd like to write, and write it. It doesn't matter if someone else has picked it already, we can have two versions. Deadline is the end of Tuesday 28th May, one week from now.

 

If anyone else fancies trying their hand at any of these, please do!

 

The possible scenarios to choose from:

 

'Ring' of Honor - pure erotica, no gimmicks needed.

Matt Hardy, Chubby Chaser - Matt likes fat girls.

Randy Randy Savage's Wedding Night Spectacular - Savage and Elizabeth consummate the marriage.

Cody's Moustache - Cody Rhodes finds growing a 'tache gives him sexual powers.

King of the Ring - starring Jerry Lawler.

Stink Face Orgy - with Rikishi, or Torrie Wilson, whoever you prefer.

Straight Up Your Candy Ass - The Rock utilises sex toys in the bedroom.

Genetic Jackhammer - Mr McMahon's office is a place to Do Business.

Big Sexy's Big Sexy Conquest - Kevin Nash, ladies.

A Surprise Visit from... - a lady receives a daytime housecall from one of those wrestlers with a day job (mountie, plumber, dentist, repo man etc)

The Animal Unleashed - Batista is an animal... literally?

Jake's Snake - starring Jake Roberts and some DDP yoga positions.

Make You Humble - Iran number 1 in the bedroom.

Fandangangbang - things get steamy in the dance studio.

The Chyna One - the Chyna one.

The UKFF One - or not.

Vipers and Rattlesnakes - Stone Cold and Randy Orton have a lady each to pleasure.

Workrate Perverts - a bunch of fappers watch a naked lady, and enjoy it. Snowflakes a must.

You Can Call Me Al (Wilson) - What if his marriage to Dawn Marie had survived?

The Total Package's Total Package - all aboard Lex's Sex Express.

Carry Job - an experienced (sex) worker drags a classic fuck out of a no-hoper.

Sex Dungeon of Doom - starring Kevin Sullivan.

French Tickler - La Resistance lives on.

Everyone Has A Price - Ted DiBiase buys hookers for his son and Virgil.

Undertaker's Cabin In The Woods - guest starring Sting's chin.

One Man Gang Bang - Akeem is a STUD.

I'm The Boogeyman... - ...and I'm coming.

The Further Erotic Adventures Of Scott Steiner - self-explanatory.

Samoan Spike - Umaga's a savage between the sheets.

As You Desire - a story of your choice, of your own creation.

 

Good luck - now let's get this over with!

[PowerButchi]

Let them write their own, see the creative juices flow.

[FrankCastle]

The thought of penning a Chyna porno makes me physically sick.

 

I have a Paul Heyman-esque plan...

[Keith Houchen]

I was on holiday and missed it, so you won't get to read my musings on Million Dollar Man and Virgil using the frozen turd that gave Elvis Presley a fatal heart attack as a dildo on Honky Tonk Man.

[HarmonicGenerator]

Can... Can we read it anyway?

[FrankCastle]

I was on holiday and missed it, so you won't get to read my musings on Million Dollar Man and Virgil using the frozen turd that gave Elvis Presley a fatal heart attack as a dildo on Honky Tonk Man.

 

You should pitch this to WWE for the WWE Network. Vince would love this.

[Bellenda Carlisle]

_________________________________________________________ Vipers and Rattlesnakes _________________________________________________________

 

 

____________________________________________________________ A Steve 'Big' Knobs joint______________________________________________________________

 

 

 

It was a beautiful sunny day as Steve Austin and Randy Orton were speeding down the highway in a sweet cherry red 1957 Cadillac convertible blaring ZZ Top at full volume, Stone Cold was wearing a satin leopard print dressing gown, Randy was bollock naked, his huge veiny cock nearly reaching his knee even on the soft - The Viper indeed.

They didn't hang out together much but when they did it was all about having fun and fucking bitches.

 

Steve was driving, rapidly making his way through stevewiesers as he sped down the road, Randy was chillin' in the passenger seat smoking a fat blunt. 'Let's get some fucking pussy' Orton said in his slow deep voice, maybe it was the weed but Randy was pretty relaxed for someone who was completely naked in a car being driven over the speed limit by a drunk wifebeater. 'Hell yeah!' Stone Cold replied, 'Beth Phoenix & Kelly Kelly live near here right?'

Steve excitedly stepped on the accelerator and cracked open another beer as they raced down the road in the summer sun towards Kelly & Beth's place.

 

Kelly Kelly was shocked to open the door to a completely naked Randy Orton but the surprise quickly turned to lust as she took in how amazing he looked, his tanned muscles glistening in the Florida sun. Randy had a reputation as a ladykiller as well as a legend killer so she knew what was in store. 'Come in guys' Kelly said. 'Steve's just getting his brewskis from the car' Randy replied, 'Don't bother Steve!' Kelly called over to him 'We've got plenty of beers in the fridge!' 'That's what I like to hear!' Stone Cold said with a grin as he walked over to the front door.

Kelly let them in and they sat down on the white leather sofas in her beautiful apartment, there was a thick white carpet, stainless steel appliances and a huge open French door that went straight onto the beach, they were met with an even more breathtaking sight as Beth Phoenix walked out of the shower and into the living room completely nude, her toned body still dripping wet, 'Damn!' Austin said.

 

Beth wasn't worried about being forward and she walked over to Stone Cold and opened his robe, his cock was a few inches shorter than Orton's but even thicker, she sat on his lap and started kissing him passionately, he reciprocated, sticking his tongue into her mouth and groping her all over, enjoying feeling her tits for a while before sticking two thick fingers into her wet honeypot. Everyone was feeling randy - especially Randy - jealous of the action Steve was getting the Viper kicked into gear and tore Kelly's clothes off - she didn't put up a fight and she was soon on her knees at his feet trying to get his massive member into her mouth, she teased the tip and was licking up and down the length of his shaft, he was fully erect now, his cock was rock hard and the size of a wine bottle. Meanwhile Stone Cold took control and pulled on the Glamazon's wet hair as he slid his Coke can like dick into her damp pussy and started pounding away hard, Beth wasn't used to being dominated and she was loving it. Teased to fever pitch by Kelly's warm mouth WWE's Apex Predator wrapped his arms around her body, she squealed as he lowered her cunt-first onto his colossal bone.

Beth moaned, biting her lip and shaking her head as she came hard and quickly from Austin's hard drilling but he carried on - he wasn't going to stop slamming away at her until he was done too. Kelly Kelly winced, she had never been fucked so hard, she soon got into it and it felt so good she could hardly take it as Randy -still holding up her whole weight off the floor- bounced her up and down on his rod, Randy isn't the most selfless lover and kept hammering way at the squealing Kelly until he came hard deep inside her then dropped her suddenly onto the white sofa. Stone Cold had more stamina than Randy and was only now reaching climax, he pulled out of Beth and shot his load all over her face and hard body.

 

After catching their collective breath the four of them stood in the middle of the room satisfied.

'How about those beers now?' Steve said with a gleam in his eye, Kelly got four bottles of Bud from the fridge & they all said cheers as they knocked their bottles together, then in a display of perfectly timed good-time sexism the Texas Rattlesnake lightly booted the Glamazon in the belly before hitting her with a Stunner while the Viper simultaneouly floored Kelly with a picture perfect RKO from out of nowhere.

Leaving the girls sparked out on the floor Steve and Randy chuckled as they let themselves out of the house, got back into their Caddy and sped down the highway.

[HarmonicGenerator]

Jobs wins! Yay!