DVD's and Films You Have Watched Recently

[Whinehouse]

I 100% agree on principle, especially as I have a lovely shiny 40" TV myself. However, sometimes the cinema trip just has to be done. I'd love to kidy myself and say that my TV and a good sound system recreate the cinema experience but it simply isn't true. Some movies are meant to be blared at volumes you could never legally use in your house and on a screen the size of a building.

 

Inglorious Basterds has some showpiece aural and visual moments that make it one of those films. I would urge you to bite the bullet and go and see it on the big screen. It's an 18 too, so pick a weird showtime at a particularly pedantic cinema and you'll cut out at least some of the annoying kid factor.

 

We have 2 cinemas in Northampton. Both are chav infested.

 

I actually bent the rules not so long ago (one month today to be exact). My son wanted to watch Harry Potter and as me and his mum were flying off on our honeymoon without him 2 days later I felt abliged to take him. I wanted to see it too, but I would have waited. Inglorious Basterds is purely for me, so the rules must be obeyed.

 

Admirable resolution, but you're missing out. The cinematic experience really adds to the effect of this film (I, too, have also seen it twice now). Plus, it was actually fun to observe how the audience were feeling the tension the second time round. I found the fellow cinema-goers didn't detract from the experience at all. As JLM said, 18 certificates generally cut down the pre-pubescent annoyance, and if you hit a late night viewing in a week or so, you'd probably have the screen mostly to yourself.

[FLips]

Saw "Pitch Black" the other night. A lot of people have said it's boring and not very good, but I really liked it. The characters are built well, and I already had an attatchment to Riddick and Johns because they were in the Butcher Bay game on the 360. The film had the right balance of scares and actual things happening as opposed to it just trying to make you jump every 5 minutes. Really good little flick I think, though i've heard the sequel "Chronicles of Riddick" isn't anything to write home about.

[Loki]

I dunno, I really liked Chronicles.. I think I just like that Riddick character, and so both these films appeal to me. Pitch Black is definitely a quality horror film, where Chronicles is quite a geeky scifi film, to be sure.

[ozzfan]

I like the Riddick fillums, but the video games were better, which is possibly the only instance of that happening ever.

[Steveo2007]

I dunno, I really liked Chronicles.. I think I just like that Riddick character, and so both these films appeal to me. Pitch Black is definitely a quality horror film, where Chronicles is quite a geeky scifi film, to be sure.

Definitely, two very different films in their own right.

 

The third is apparently going back to the basics of Pitch Black.

[Vito]

Pitch Black is awesome and The Chronicles Of Riddick really only suffered from a lack of imagination.

 

I saw Inglourious Basterds at the cinema the other day, it was the first showing at eleven in the morning and I was one of ten people watching, just the way I like it. If you haven't seen it yet then the first thing you should know it that it's long, I got into the cinema at quarter to eleven and left as soon as the credits started rolling at ten to two in the afternoon, a lot of people around me seemed to get restless by the end and in all honest I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable in my seat too. Secondly, about 75% of the movie is subtitled in French and German, so if you're an illiterate cunt like the girl two rows in front of me who constantly had to ask her boyfriend to tell her what was happening because the subtitles that everyone else in the room had no problems reading were "too fast" for her I strongly suggest you avoid this so that people like me don't spend most of the movie praying for your sudden death.

 

If you can sit still and you can read at an adult level then you'll probably enjoy Inglourious Basterds, there are a lot of great set pieces, gags and dialog but because of the reasons I listed above the quality of your viewing experience rests entirely on on the heads of those who decide to watch the film at the same time as you. I strongly recommend an early screening when it'll be empty, watch this on a friday or saturday evening at your peril!

[Dynamite Duane]

Got Never Back Down and Big Stan to watch before we lose Sky Movies on Thursday. Anyone else seen Never Back Down yet?

[bAzTNM#1]

Got Never Back Down and Big Stan to watch before we lose Sky Movies on Thursday.

"Big Stan" is supposedly a bit shite.

[Chest Rockwell]

I know how many runs you scored last summer

 

This is a cricket themed horror movie. The world could use more of these.

 

First off, just let the brilliance of that title sink in for a moment.

 

Got it?

 

OK, now point your peepers at this tag line:

 

This time, they get to keep the ashes!

 

Bam! That is, how you say, a six, right there. Also at one point a guy gets gutted and crucified and displayed with a sign saying "HOWZAT?" above his head in blood.

 

All it lacks is a scene where the killer chases someone back and forth between two locations quickly like they're scoring runs. Shame.

 

Right, anyway, a gigantic dude in cricket whites who looks like a sort of all-white Undertaker is killing people. His cricket team were horrible to him when he was a child and on one occasion gave him a severe towel-whipping that left his genitals all mangled. True story. Anyway, he's pissed and is now dispatching them through the medium of cricket-themed weaponry. A solid premise I'm sure you'll agree.

 

The upshot of this is a string of rather excellent kills. One guy gets a cricket stump lodged in his throat and then driven home by the bat. One gets twatted right in the eye socket by a cricket ball stuffed with nails and other sharp objects. There's also a graphic disemboweling via razor sharp cricket glove.

 

The main event, however, is a scene where one of the guys is made to strip down to his boxers and kneel before the killer. The killer hands him a cricket cup that is absolutely stuffed with nails and pointy things. The man takes it and puts it on. The killer, without hesitaiton, proceeds to kick him extremely hard in the nuts, driving the cup home. The man then makes an attempt to remove it. The sounds that accompany this will remain etched in my memory. Oh yeah, during this time, the killer strolls round behind him and drives three cricket stumps through his back to seal the deal.

 

There are predictable plot twists, shocking attempts at British accents by Australians (it's an Australian movie) and there's also an unbelievably gratuitous shower scene where the lady detective goes for a shower in the safehouse for no reason at all. We then cut to three minutes or so of boob soaping, extended ass and muff slow motion shots and then more boob soaping. The funny thing is that they use a body double for this, and the double in question is "Miss nude Australia". She's credited as "Shower body". I'm sure her family were first in line to watch this. The DVD extras list has "Extended shower scene" as an option too. Miss nude Australia is clearly younger and in far, far better shape than the actress who plays the showering detective, but they don't really make an effort to convince you that it's the same person anyway. It might as well jusy flash up "and now, here's titties!" on screen before it. She doesn't get attacked in the shower or anything. She just showers and then climbs out and dries off and then we move on. Amazing.

 

A true CEX movie and one that I'd recommend if you love appalling acting and schlocky horror. The final fight scene sees our hero dressed with pads and helmet and there is a cricket bat duel between him and the villain. If you're not sold on this yet then we ain't friends.

 

Stay tuned for forthcoming reviews of the Amanda Bynes classic "What a Girl wants" and the aforementioned "Serving Sara".

 

My highly suggestible dolt of a flatmate downloaded this film after reading this review, and we watched it the other night whilst cricket-fever was still riding high. It may have been one of the only good decisions he has ever made.

 

I can now vouch for this film's hilarity. My favourite things not mentioned in the review that I found particularly brilliant:

 

- the completely unnecessary Soprano's-opening-scene-cum-24 style editing bit as they travel to the safehouse. I was just waiting for a starwipe to finish it off.

- a segment where a terrified victim runs full pelt away from the killer, whilst the killer slowly stalks him in an evil manner, yet never actually gets any further away from the guy.

- the whole scene where the guy who was getting his haircut was standing in the room but didn't know what to do. This is actually the longest scene in film history where absolutely nothing happens, and the dude having to maintain his "scared" acting for this long whilst nothing happened apart from some spooky music was tremendous.

 

[JLM]

 

I totally forgot about that bit. I love it when a film shows you how easy it is to totally balls up something we'd normally take for granted. 99% of horror films have a scene exactly like that. Some do it reallly well and make you genuinely unsettled, most do it adequately and maybe have a "jump" moment in there to prop it up, but as you say, IKHMRYSLS manages to have one that is entirely void of tension and totally uneventful.

 

Also, yeah, the bondage gear guy should have escaped SO easily. He didn't even trip over a bunch of times like most people in these scenarios. He just bolted at a fairly brisk pace whilst the killer did his best Michael Myers stroll. Very silly indeed. I liked that he decided to meet up for a kinky S&M session in a secluded location when a deranged killer was known to be stalking them too. He truly loves the danger.

 

Glad you guys enjoyed it. I seriously can't express my love for CEX enough. I had absolutely no knowledge of the film's existence and would undoubtedly have lived out the rest of my days without seeing it if not for the seedy pit of cut price delights that is Computer Exchange.

 

How about that cup scene though? Why put it on? WHYYY???

Edited August 26, 2009 by JLM

[Dynamite Duane]

Got Never Back Down and Big Stan to watch before we lose Sky Movies on Thursday. Anyone else seen Never Back Down yet?

Saw Never Back Down last night, was pretty good. No recognisable MMA fighters in it but a better film than No Surrender. The hero is better hero and better characterisation. A bit of modern take on Karate Kid but as it says on the Sky EPG about it, it's Fight Club meets The OC which is about right.

[Chest Rockwell]

There is absolutely no good reason why you would put the cup on.. But that was indicative of the general pussy-ness of the victims - I swear the first 5 people he killed didn't even take a swing at him! Come on! You know you're gonna die; don't go out like that.... The first person who attacked him was the faggy hairdresser! (Speaking of which, it seems that the killer went around with the pair of scissors lodged in his neck for a lot longer than was necessary; I did like the way he just taped up the stab wound and got on with it though. Real man's man!)

 

The S&M guy did appear to love it. He didn't even start running away until after the killer had playfully whipped him a little with the leather whip.

 

Also, the cops protecting them are bad Po-lice. Awful choice of safehouse; didn't even notice when 3-4 people went missing and never came back, and; took an awful long time to even bother to look at the security camera monitors that they made a point of telling us are top of the line CCTV.

 

I don't have a CEX near me, but I've got your reviews, so keep this garbage trickling downstream! I think one of my happiest (bad-film-watching) times was when I was working in Croydon and Beanos were selling off their whole VHS collection at cut prices; I bought and watched so much crap.

[KFR42]

Saw inglourious Basterds last night. Brilliant film. It did go on a bit, but I really enjoyed the typical Tarentino over the top style of it, especially the ending. Also, good to hear Samuel L Mutha Fuckin Jackson's voice as the narrator.

[Carbomb]

Glad you guys enjoyed it. I seriously can't express my love for CEX enough. I had absolutely no knowledge of the film's existence and would undoubtedly have lived out the rest of my days without seeing it if not for the seedy pit of cut price delights that is Computer Exchange.

 

Oh, fuck yeah. I picked up some really shit films from there that I've never regretted buying, like Digital Man (starring Adam Baldwin - a cross between Terminator and Predator, almost), Hell Swarm (schlocky insect alien infestation/invasion) and Evolution, which isn't, in itself, a CEX movie, but you can see why it'd belong there. I saw in CEX once a Korean movie called The Gun (I think it was called) - a thriller where a North Korean cop has his gun stolen by a murderer, and he has to get it back before the guy kills any more people. Wish I'd bought it back then, because I can't find it for love nor money now, not even on teh Intarweb.

[Keith Houchen]

and Evolution, which isn't, in itself, a CEX movie, but you can see why it'd belong there.

The David Duchovney, Julianne Moore and black fella one?