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Posted

Entries are now closed! 

And in case anyone is wondering, I am going pretty well in the poker. I am currently 16th out of 41 remaining. 

I will be back in action tomorrow at 4pm with around £25,000 going to first place. Let's fucking go!

  • Awards Moderator
Posted
7 hours ago, Glenryck Pilchards said:

Entries are now closed! 

And in case anyone is wondering, I am going pretty well in the poker. I am currently 16th out of 41 remaining. 

I will be back in action tomorrow at 4pm with around £25,000 going to first place. Let's fucking go!

Winner of the Rumble lottery gets 30%?

Posted

How do all, well that was depressing watching that tripe twice... For the benefit of my sanity, I have taken the times of elimination and number of eliminations from the 2026 Royal Rumble Wikipedia page. Any gripes please contact Jimmy Wales. 

Here are the points for the Women's Rumble.

Entrant No Wrestler Total
1 Charlotte 58
2 Bliss 10
3 James 0
4 Jax 5
5 Nile 5
6 Vice 5
7 LeRae 0
8 Grace 30
9 Lynch 4
10 Ruca 69
11 Perez 20
12 Dupri 5
13 Nattie 4
14 Morgan 102
15 Legend 40
16 Zelina 0
17 Rodriguez 55
18 Green 5
19 Giulia 4
20 Sky 14
21 Asuka 10
22 Ripley 32
23 Bayley 10
24 Jayne 14
25 Nikki 29
26 Valkirya 14
27 Jordan -25
28 Sane 14
29 Brie 29
30 Stratton 39

 

The best combination was 1,10,14,15,17, which no one picked. A quick rundown of the scores, there was only one Superstar who got a House on Fire Bonus, which was Jordynne Grace who dumped three rivals in the space of 60 seconds to rack up a bonus 18 points. 

There were far too many tag teams and stable partners, which I simply cannot be arsed to explain. There was a 5 point bonus for the NXT members of Sol Ruca, Lola Vice, Jacy Jayne, and Kelani Jordan. While the Bella twins picked up a 15 point bonus each due to their Hall of Fame rings. Yes, technically Brie was last seen in an AEW ring at Wembley, but that does not fucking count. 

No one was Bushwhacker Luke'd in this Rumble, but Kelani Jordan attempted to skin the cat and was eliminated in doing so, meaning she was the only competitor to get negative points. 

And here are the standings for the Women's UKFF Lottery:

 

Username Women Total
gaz2050 209
Retro Red 195
RedTwoster 190
I bent my Wookie 185
gmoney 177
rollthedice 176
Lion of the Midlands 157
SpykeDudlei1 156
The Scarlett Chad 153
Olly1984 141
The King of Old School 133
thevestofdeanambrose 127
air raid 121
TibBo 121
Supremo 120
Stinky Dad 118
Flips 113
NavigatorFan 106
Caveman lynn 101
DazzM 99
Callum1993 97
Harvey Dent 97
Tim Healys Chutney Spoon 97
Bradyisgod22 92
hbk4life 91
reychampion 89
Freddie hartland 89
JLM 85
DavidB6937 81
HarmonicGenerator 81
SpearCode 78
The Ratt 78
Mr Showtime 76
Superbacon 75
boshealecta 73
Kamran 69
Wretch 68
Glenryck Pilchards 68
CTXRussomark 65
mim731 64
BarryOVega 63
Fog Dude 56
Sheffbag 53
MVP Rulz  53
Shane O Mac V2 37
Abe Knuckleball Scwartz 24
TildeGuy! 24
Vegeta 19
Harry Wiseau 10

 

At the top of the tree is @gaz2050 who was the only player to break the 200-point barrier with 209 points. The minor medals are awarded to the crimson twosome of @Retro Red and @RedTwoster who picked up 195 points and 190 points respectively 

@Harry Wiseau picked up the dreaded wooden spoon with a paltry 10 points. 

On to the Men's Rumble, the best combination was 1,8,20,26,30, which no one had.  Here is how this degenerate awarded the points: 

Entrant No Wrestler Total
1 Femi 79
2 Breakker -5
3 Sikoa 0
4 Mysterio 15
5 Rusev -10
6 Cardona -10
7 Priest 0
8 Evans 40
9 Mr Iguana 10
10 Williams 14
11 Rhodes -3
12 El Grande Kaiser 0
13 El Grande Gable 19
14 Keys 35
15 Theory 24
16 Reed 32
17 Dragunov 0
18 La Parka 10
19 Lee 0
20 Paul 65
21 Knight 24
22 Lesnar 12
23 Miz 0
24 Fenix 0
25 Uso 12
26 Reigns 86
27 Fatu 4
28 Penta 0
29 Orton  29
30 Gunther 58

 

Oba Femi was the breakout star of this Rumble, who gained 18 points for being alone in the ring on three separate occasions. I believe this is the first time since I have been doing the UKFF Lottery that either No1 or No2 has been eliminated within 60 seconds, so Femi picked up 6 points for a House on Fire Bonus, while Bron Breakker got Bushwhacker Luke'd for a -10 score.

Luckily for the No2 pickers, Breakker got 5 points thanks to his membership in The Vision to get 5 points.  The three other members Logan Paul, Austin Theory and Bronson Reed all picked up 20 points for being in the ring at the same time. Brock Lesnar is not an offical member and did not get this award. 

As well as Breakker, Rusev and Matt Cardona got dumped within 60 seconds to lose ten points. I gave Oba Femi 5 points for NXT despite Wiki saying he is a free agent. Rey Mysterio got 15 points due to his HOF ring, while the artist formerly known as Powerhouse Hobbs got 25 points for last appearing in AEW. 

Other scorers of the House on Fire bonus were Roman Reigns, Royce Keys, and Trick Williams who got six points, while LA Knight got 12 points. El Grande Americano Gable got 15 points for eliminating EGA Kaiser by skinning the cat and stood on the apron afterwards. Logan Paul also successfully skinned the cat to pick up 15 points.

I am afraid there is some bad news for No11 pickers (myself included), despite picking up 32 points for eliminations and time bonuses, Cody Rhodes ended up with a negative score due to a disastrous elimination. The American Nightmare got -30 points for being eliminated while skinning the cat, but also got -5 points for being eliminated by Drew McIntyre, which I am sure ICE would consider a 'foreign object'. Jacob Fatu tossed Rhodes over the ropes, so I gave him the elimination points by proxy. 

With that being said, here are the standings of the UKFF Lottery Men's Rumble: 

Username Men Total
hbk4life 209
Supremo 204
gmoney 201
The King of Old School 191
rollthedice 185
Fog Dude 183
I bent my Wookie 176
Stinky Dad 170
Retro Red 159
SpearCode 145
SpykeDudlei1 143
Abe Knuckleball Scwartz 142
air raid 137
Callum1993 128
HarmonicGenerator 128
Olly1984 127
gaz2050 121
Freddie hartland 121
Caveman lynn 120
Shane O Mac V2 119
Flips 117
DavidB6937 114
JLM 111
The Scarlett Chad 107
Lion of the Midlands 105
reychampion 98
MVP Rulz  98
Harvey Dent 92
Vegeta 87
mim731 81
The Ratt 79
NavigatorFan 77
Sheffbag 72
RedTwoster 70
BarryOVega 69
TibBo 68
Mr Showtime 67
boshealecta 64
Bradyisgod22 63
Kamran 62
CTXRussomark 60
Tim Healys Chutney Spoon 56
Superbacon 55
TildeGuy! 43
DazzM 24
thevestofdeanambrose 20
Glenryck Pilchards 16
Harry Wiseau 15
Wretch -1

 

For the second time in their life, @hbk4life has won the Men's Rumble with 209 points. Remarkably they won the 2018's Mens Rumble Lottery, which is either astonishing luck, or can read WWE creative like a book. They narrowly edged out the 2019 overall champion @Supremo into second place with 204 points, while @gmoney takes the bronze medal. 

@Wretch unfortunately picks up the wooden spoon, which spared my blushes, but not as much as Harry Wiseau, who would have collected a clean sweep of cooking utensils. Wretch scored the only negative score in the game with a Brodie Jr. And a quick shout-out to @Abe_Knuckleball_Schwartz, as despite the unusual tactic of only picking four numbers, they managed to finish 12th with 142 points

And finally the overall points: 

Username Total
gmoney 378
rollthedice 361
I bent my Wookie 361
Retro Red 354
gaz2050 330
Supremo 324
The King of Old School 324
hbk4life 300
SpykeDudlei1 299
Stinky Dad 288
Olly1984 268
Lion of the Midlands 262
The Scarlett Chad 260
RedTwoster 260
air raid 258
Fog Dude 239
Flips 230
Callum1993 225
SpearCode 223
Caveman lynn 221
Freddie hartland 210
HarmonicGenerator 209
JLM 196
DavidB6937 195
Harvey Dent 189
TibBo 189
reychampion 187
NavigatorFan 183
Abe Knuckleball Scwartz 166
The Ratt 157
Shane O Mac V2 156
Bradyisgod22 155
Tim Healys Chutney Spoon 153
MVP Rulz  151
thevestofdeanambrose 147
mim731 145
Mr Showtime 143
boshealecta 137
BarryOVega 132
Kamran 131
Superbacon 130
Sheffbag 125
CTXRussomark 125
DazzM 123
Vegeta 106
Glenryck Pilchards 84
TildeGuy! 67
Wretch 67
Harry Wiseau 25

 

The winner by a landslide is GMoney, with a massive 378 points. Second place is shared by 2020 Men's Rumble winner @rollthedice and @I Bent My Wookie with 361 points. Poor Harry Wiseau gets a second wooden spoon.

Congratulations to our winners who have been etched on to the Hall of Fame, Christ I feel old looking back at that.

 

Hall of Fame

2011 Lancastrino

2012 Chilli Dog

2013 Vince Russo

2014 Silky Kisser

2015 Seph

2016 JohnCarr92 and The Four Horsemen

2017 Otto Dem Wanz

2018 Men's: HBK4Life

2018 Women's: BradyisGod22 

2018 Overall: Grecian

2018 Greatest Royal Rumble: Wrasslin

2019 Men's: Cobra_Gordo

2019: Women's: Alex Wright Mark

2019 Overall: Supremo

2020 Men's: rollthedice

2020 Women's: Callum1993

2020 Overall: Harry Wiseau

2021: Women: PSF

2021: Men: WeeAl

2021: Overall: PSF

2022: Women: reychampion

2022: Men: boshealecta

2022 Overall: boshealecta

2023 Women: MC_Death

2023 Men: MC_Death

2023 Overall: MC_Death

2024 Women: Fatty Facesitter

2024 Men: TildeGuy~!

2024 Overall: Fatty Facesitter

2025 Women: Onyx2

2025 Men: Tim Healy's Chutney Spoon

2025 Overall: CTX Russomark

2026 Women: gaz2050

2026 Men: hbk4life

2026 Overall: gmoney

 

Oh and in case you were wondering, I managed to get into the money at the poker tournament, then this happened...

 

Tits...

Posted

Good work, Glenryck, and well done to the winners!

Every year I pick the exact same terrible numbers on purpose, but I thought this year my luck was in, early in the women's rumble.

"Yaaaas Nia Jax! She'll chuck out tonnes of them!"
"Jordynne Grace! She's set for a great showing, they've been teasing her against the champ!"
"Beckyyyyyyy Lynch yes I'M GOING TO WIN this damn lottery!"

I think most of you would be happy with those characters, but by the time my actual top pick came out, Rhea Ripley at 22, I knew it was already over. The Royal Rumble is rubbish.

Posted

From king of the world in 2020 to relegation Ronnie in six short years, I had a shocker. Thanks for running it every year @Glenryck Pilchards I'll take some time to have a cry and tend to my wounds but I'll be back all guns blazing in 2027 to reclaim the crown that was once mine, all mine!

 

Congratulations @gmoney I was only 353 points off you, so close.

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