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Joke and Phrase Retirement Home


gmoney

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2 hours ago, gmoney said:

I didn't include stuff like this as it feels like something from a previous generation, and I genuinely haven't seen it in years.

You’re lucky. It still shows up often in replies to tweets. 

A lot of mine have been mentioned on here but I’ll throw them in with some others. It’s all words I’ve muted on twitter to cleanse the timeline. But new things pop up that annoy me. 

Anything that’s serving or giving. 

Any variation of cooking or cooked or let them cook.

Finna. Fresh hell. Hella. Y’all. Mid. All can fuck off.

Anything to do with giving someone their flowers. It was a twitter thing. Then I started seeing it on here and I wanted to downvote the fuck out of you. 

“Send tweet”

“Wrong answers only”

”My sweet summer child”

Everyday I feel more and more like Larry David. 

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Posts starting with "when". It started as "that feeling when" or "TFW" but now it just seems to be "when". Especially if it's a short video and it's being read aloud by one of the horrible AI robot voices, or if it's a brag: 

"When your daughter wins first place in the dance competition". 

"When your dog follows you around everywhere". 

 

Online discussion of football makes me want to claw my eyes out, particularly the comments on any given set of highlights. "Low Key" "High Key" and "Underrated" can all fuck off. 

"Player X is low key underrated" Bonus points if they are an almost universally acknowledged elite level player at one of the biggest clubs in the world on 400k per week. 

"2:42 is an underrated moment" 

"That touch from X is underrated" 

"Can we talk about how that pass for the second goal, high key underrated?"

"Why is nobody talking about 3:10." 

 

 

 

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7 minutes ago, JLM said:

Posts starting with "when". It started as "that feeling when" or "TFW" but now it just seems to be "when". Especially if it's a short video and it's being read aloud by one of the horrible AI robot voices, or if it's a brag: 

"When your daughter wins first place in the dance competition". 

"When your dog follows you around everywhere".

Similar to this, adding “not” at the start of a sentence when they’ve done the exact thing they’re saying they haven’t done.

For example, “not me falling down the stairs this morning” if they have fallen down the stairs that morning.

Edited by Slapnut
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I don't know if this is the right place for this, but I think it's  meant to be funny so I'm putting it here:

Adverts where they have adults speaking but the voice is a child's voice. That one with Jack out of Bread as a copper is the absolute worst. I actually eat less Haribo because of that advert. 

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Putting respect on peoples names. 

Doubly so when it's needlessly called for. 

A comment under a collection of Undertaker matches - in a thread full of wrestling fans - "Put some respect on his name!"

Like, no shit. 

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4 minutes ago, deathrey said:

I know this is not a joke but the 'GOAT' or 'GOATed' is so so over used that any old fucker can be GOATed for any old unremarkable thing 

Did you know LL Cool J coined that term. Blame Todd.

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Just now, SuperBacon said:

Did you know LL Cool J coined that term. Blame Todd.

I do know that. He did it 25 years. The world has caught up with him in the last 5 years and incorrectly used the word to death. 

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A song features on something recently popular and all the YouTube comments on the video for the song are “Stranger Things brought me here” etc.

Anything remotely decent being referred to as ‘Generational’

Steven Segal in Under Siege cooks not wrestling bookers, directors of football or film directors.

 

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