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Carvery Rules


neil
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My trolling in the Euro thread reminded me of something I've long thought about...whats the rules at a carvery?

Now to me the carvery sits in a murky zone of confusion about whether its "all you can eat" (get ta fuck with that 'all you care to eat' nonsense) or some hybrid model (meat one time, veg all you can eat) or a strict one time run through the queue.

Now as an Englishman who also comes from a family who are strictly against asking questions, I dare not ask someone working there for clarification of the rules. Instead we'd sit there watching others having interactions like "he's gone up for more ain't he?", "yeah but only for veg and gravy" etc. It's fraught with anxiety due to the shame of being knocked back when going up for more meat. 

Even the Toby website itself is confusing, says on the main page "Enjoy an all-you-can-eat carvery", but then on the menu itself says "Feel free to go back for more vegetables.". This would align with the hybrid option, meat once, veg multi, but that seems like a stretch to call it "all you can eat". How comes trades descriptions haven't got involved? Contact your local MP. Brexit means clear carvery rules.

Now yeah, Toby and others offer the big boys/fat fuck/king size option, but sometimes that is a piss take depending on who is handing out the meat. If you're lucky a cheeky wink might get you an extra bit of lamb, but you can get absolutely robbed with these so-called "upgrades".

How do you navigate this perilous scenario? Any other carvery thoughts/top tips?

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Not a big meat eater but I love all the veg on a carvery swimming in gravy. The only thing I hate about the concept is waste. Fucking troggs filling XL plates to sickening levels only to leave half of it happens on every table, everytime we've ever been. So my only rule would be weighing in the waste and charging the greedy bastards by the gram.

Edited by tiger_rick
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2 minutes ago, neil said:

Now as an Englishman who also comes from a family who are strictly against asking questions, I dare not ask someone working there for clarification of the rules.

Reminds me of a date with my wife, before she was actually my wife.  Took the carvery option at the hotel restaurant (Waltham Abbey Marriott on a night when there were no shootings) and sat there with our drinks.  Turns out that neither of us knew what a carvery option actually involved, only a vague idea that it was a roast, so we sat there with our drinks until one of the waitresses took pity on us and explained that we had to go up and get it.  As hungry as we were we decided to carry on our "conversation" for a bit before we went up to somehow attempt to hide that we didn't know how carveries worked and all along we were just so engrossed with staring lovingly into each other's eyes.  The conversation largely consisted of "You go up first, you're the one who picked the carvery option."  "No, I'm giving it a few more minutes so that we don't look like mentals."

I'd say that the rule of thumb is that at a regular carvery there's one go on the meat unless explicitly stated.  You can go up for roasties, veg, and gravy until you can't breathe.

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Go up once and fill your plate. Go up twice and pretend it's your first time so you get more meat. A selection of hats and glasses assist with the scam. 

And put your peas in the Yorkshire pudding so they don't take up vital plate space. 

I also bring my own 12" plate. 

Edited by Steve Justice
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Are carverys running the same way with Covid restrictions? I don't know if this is any indication but at Toby Carvery when you go for the veggie option, the main comes from the kitchen and is waiting for you when you go up to the counter so you only get one (in theory, this is the same as the meat) but you can go up for as much veg and potatoes as you want.

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Since getting into World Buffets, the Carvery has lost it's lustre I'm afraid. Getting a plate of roast stuff, followed by a bit of curry and some Thai food is where its at.

The Toby Carvery in particular, the last time I went, seemed particularly down heel and shite. But to answer what you're supposed to do, I believe you can only go up once but you can try and fit as much as you can on your plate (tip: use the yorkshire pudding as a bowl).  

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3 minutes ago, deathrey said:

Are carverys running the same way with Covid restrictions?

I went to a Toby last week. After picking out the meat and veg that you want, you have to wait until a waiter comes to the counter, they pick your plate up, you then walk them back to where your sitting and they put your plate down for you. You’re not allowed to touch your plate until it’s on your table. This was on a Sunday evening, with it being packed and only two waiters doing so. Meaning it made it double busy when queuing for your food. 

gmoney is correct. World buffets are the way to go. 

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17 minutes ago, Keith Houchen said:

everything overcooked and bland

Just like mum used to make. 

Off topic, but this has stirred a memory. My nan used to make roast potatoes without boiling them first. They were rock hard. 

Although she did also make boiled potatoes too, but no salt or seasoning. Tasteless and bland as fuck. 

Dopey cunt. 

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1 minute ago, Steve Justice said:

Just like mum used to make. 

Off topic, but this has stirred a memory. My nan used to make roast potatoes without boiling them first. They were rock hard. 

Although she did also make boiled potatoes too, but no salt or seasoning. Tasteless and bland as fuck. 

Dopey cunt. 

Does this resentment stem from her not teaching you how to go toilet properly…?

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38 minutes ago, Steve Justice said:

Tired Back To School GIF by Originals

Who uses a toilet cistern as a desk?

anyway, this thread is showing sone awful takes. Firstly, Carverys are by and large, shit. If you’re one of those people who think Toby make the best Sunday roasts, I suggest getting some types from Onyx2 on making decent roast potatoes. 
 

World Buffets are equally shit because the quality of all the food is so poor. Sure, you can have whatever you like, but it all tastes like shit knock offs of real food. 
 

and then the biggest issue with these places, as mentioned above. Waste. So much waste or greed. I once went to a World Buffet and watched as one of the co-workers I was there with just empted the duck container on to their plate. Got some pancakes and then sat down. Ate about half the plate. Just absolutely wasteful and really fucks me off.

But yeah, they are cheap

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1 hour ago, Hannibal Scorch said:

World Buffets are equally shit because the quality of all the food is so poor. Sure, you can have whatever you like, but it all tastes like shit knock offs of real food. 

That depends on the quality of the world buffet. JRC Global Buffets are generally good, the one in Croydon in particular is great, has an excellent selection and is generally of a high standard, particularly the Chinese and Thai food. The also have a fair selection of meats cooked to order. 

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