Work

[Mr_Danger]

4 hours ago, Slapnut said:

I'm having a real hard time with work at the moment. I'm pretty burnt out from the monotony of the work, the quiet periods, and the unnecessarily long office hours with absolutely no flexibility. But most importantly, I'm completely done being in a very small office surrounded by immature dickheads who can't shut the fuck up for longer than a minute.

This basically summarises a 5 minute conversation that happened yesterday between two colleagues, one in his late twenties and the other in his early thirties:

"What would you do if you just shit yourself in work?"

"Hahaha I'd just go 'awww noo eew'"

"Hahahaha just shit yourself, go on"

"No haha"

"67"

"Hahahaha oh no I've 67'd myself"

"Oh no I've shit and cum everywhere"

There's been a tonne of mistakes from our team recently and we've been asked if there's anything we can think of that could be contributing to so many in a short space of time. I hate to be this person, but I told my manager that I'm getting particularly distracted by certain people constantly fucking about all day and this could also be a factor in other people's mistakes. He's aware, he literally sits in the same room as us, but obviously fuck all has been done about it.

I don't know if I'm just being a miserable and unreasonable wanker but it just makes me absolutely hate work. I've never wanted to actually leave a job purely due to colleagues (management aside), but this could be the first.

Maybe get them to watch Nathan Barley and they might have a rare moment of self realisation like all those people who realised The Boys was making fun of them and quickly changed their opinion on the show a few years ago.

[TheBurningRed]

I work in a team of 8. But it’s two in the day, two in the night. There’s only two people I never work with. I mentioned before about the annoying woman who doesn’t shut up. We stopped talking for a few blissful months when we fell out but now she’s back talking to me. She is one of the worst for gossip and talking shit about everyone here. The other is a 62 year old man. I made a complaint about him recently. I’m sat behind him on a shift and I can see he’s zoomed in on me on the camera. Watching.

I work with actual idiots and arseholes. I had a meeting with my manager regarding the guy misusing the cctv. It was only supposed to be a 10 minute meeting but it turned into that plus an hour. I told her this is the most toxic place I’ve ever worked and that I dread having to come in. I said I’ve felt like throwing sickies just to avoid having to work with these people. And that the idiocy and toxicity is why I’m looking elsewhere. I’ve never known a work place so bad. She was very shocked and thought this was a great team. I did point out how she’s never here and that’s why things have gotten bad. But even when she’s here, everyone’s on their best behaviour so she won’t see the toxic behaviour.

I’ve had to speak to my GP and the mental health team because I got into such a bad way, I was hoping something would happen to me, an injury or illness, so that I could be signed off. You would’ve thought that would’ve got me signed off but no. I’m not at a point where I’m willing to take a pay cut from this well paid job just to be happier again. 

Edited April 14 by TheBurningRed

[SuperBacon]

Keep fighting the good fight TW brother @TheBurningRed

[Mr_Danger]

@TheBurningRed as an expert on the art of the sick note finesse I will say that doctors aren’t usually forthcoming with signing you off work. I’ve had a great doctor who would insist on it and signed me off for a month straight off whilst others I’ve had to broach the subject myself and they will do a week at a time. Don’t be afraid to tell them what you need. You feel like you are cheating the system sometimes  but they don’t see it like that especially when you get to the stage where you’re wishing harm upon yourself.

[davertfnewman]

On the subject of abhorrent work colleagues, at my first regular job when I was nineteen there was a lad a bit younger who seemed to revel in how disgusting he could be and would regularly irritate me, not that I gave him any indication of it. However, when he made the comment that no woman could really be sexually assaulted "because you can squeeze your legs together tight enough if you try" I had to go and tell the shift manager that either he moved him or me out of the room because I wasn't listening to that any more. He was moved permanently at the beginning of the next shift.

[Browser Brady]

Had a lad i worked with briefly during a summer job go full “Tony from Fr Ted” on two women who would talk loudly and constantly all day about absolute bollocks. The volume would rise between them until they were actually shouting at each other but having a conversation at same time.

Pretty much the same as this…. it was glorious !!! 

 

I think it was my 3’rd day on the job. 

[NeverYield]

Some of the absolute fuckwits I've worked alongside on building sites over the years take the crown for bad work colleagues imo

Thankfully I'm no longer on the big sites and only do domestic work now

[Briefcase]

17 hours ago, Mr_Danger said:

@TheBurningRed as an expert on the art of the sick note finesse I will say that doctors aren’t usually forthcoming with signing you off work. I’ve had a great doctor who would insist on it and signed me off for a month straight off whilst others I’ve had to broach the subject myself and they will do a week at a time. Don’t be afraid to tell them what you need. You feel like you are cheating the system sometimes  but they don’t see it like that especially when you get to the stage where you’re wishing harm upon yourself.

It sounds bad because this should never happen but when I needed time off work (at the time I felt very stressed/low etc and also needed to support someone I lived with) I just pretended I did my back in and I got signed off for a month, one of my ex bosses (who was a good mentor to me who worked within the company) said to me I was better getting signed off for a bad back rather than mental health as the company then can't play the 'If he has mental health issues is he capable' card. Obviously as said that should never ever happen but felt like I had no choice at the time and didn't owe them anything.

Also helped at the time that I was looking for an internal transfer having recently moved and lived 2 hours away from my workplace so wasn't able to drive long commutes with my 'bad back'. Helped speed up the process of moving closer to home albeit indirectly and my Area manager at the time who was covering the role was great and even offered to let me work from home and do shorter days for another month when I returned to work (without any fit to work notes), pretty much doing parts of his job when he was on holiday and when he had a busy month in November/December.

By the time that was done, I went back for 1 day then was off for 2 weeks over Christmas then had an internal transfer in the new year. 

[Mr_Danger]

37 minutes ago, Briefcase said:

It sounds bad because this should never happen but when I needed time off work (at the time I felt very stressed/low etc and also needed to support someone I lived with) I just pretended I did my back in and I got signed off for a month, one of my ex bosses (who was a good mentor to me who worked within the company) said to me I was better getting signed off for a bad back rather than mental health as the company then can't play the 'If he has mental health issues is he capable' card.

I’m not for one second suggesting that employers don’t think like this because some obviously do and in your case it was based on advice from an ex boss so they probably did in your employment but you’d be absolutely quids in if they tried to act on that in the majority of jobs. There’s also the protection of the disabilities act when you have time off work with recognised disabilities such as mental health issues etc.  
 

I work in a company where there are bosses who are actually stupid enough to openly discriminate when it comes to mental and physical disabilities  and they almost always end up paying people off when they’ve been sacked. Nearly everyone I work with leaves with some form of pay off. Absolute shambles of a company.

[Rossman]

Sat in the lunch room at work a couple of days back. Talking about Married at First Sight. Woman next to me said "I've seen one of the therapists (she meant relationship experts) on something else." I asked her which one. She said "the darkie fella." Sitting opposite the only person of colour in the company. The woman has not got a clue. 

Same woman got nose to nose, effing and jeffing with someone else in her department. Had to be dragged out of the building by the HR manager to calm her down. Somehow still kept her job. 

[lars85]

On 4/14/2026 at 7:02 PM, Mr_Danger said:

Maybe get them to watch Nathan Barley and they might have a rare moment of self realisation like all those people who realised The Boys was making fun of them and quickly changed their opinion on the show a few years ago.

Challenge them to a game of Cock, Muff, Bumhole. Loser leaves the company.

[BomberPat]

in amongst the ongoing shitshow of restructuring and potential job losses, the last email offering voluntary severance had a link to a page on our intranet, about managing organisational change, and how HR makes decisions around redundancy etc.

One of my colleagues noticed that under the heading of "redundancy avoidance measures", there's the phrase "Redeployment and training including to other parts of Imperial College". I don't work at Imperial College. Whoever wrote this has just copied and pasted the text from a different institution.

[deathrey]

Or used Chat GPT which is something our Assistant Director admitted to doing (we are a huge national organisation)

Edited April 22 by deathrey

[Statto]

Ah, the joys of working in education. I don't miss it one bit. 

Not quite as glaring as Pat's example, but one of my former colleagues informed me that the Principal now does as weekly "video newsletter" type thing. It usually runs to about 7 or 8 minutes max, and they know from the stats that only about half the staff bother to click the link and only a fraction of those get more than a couple of minutes into it.

Towards the end of last academic year, he put out a particularly epic 20+ minute long version, most of which was spent in a fillibustering eulogy of a retiring colleague. It was only 18 minutes in that he dropped in "Oh yeah, by the way... we're potless and we're going to make a bunch of you redundant. Sorry about that."

Way to bury the lead.

[BomberPat]

the principal at the college I worked at before my current place was an absolute all-timer for dropping bad news in a meeting on the last day of term and then fucking off. Just an even worse version of the "wait until 4pm on Friday to send the shitty email" approach. 

We're due a town hall meeting at 1pm today, with all professional services staff, where they will try and explain the restructure and job losses. The meeting was rescheduled from Monday to Wednesday, and now to today, and with less than three hours to go we still haven't been sent an invite. Our team weren't even sent the original email telling us it was happening in the first place, it was just sent to our boss, who forwarded it on to the rest of us. I spoke to colleagues from other departments in the pub last night who don't even know that the meeting's happening, and are still completely in the dark about what's happening and whether or not their jobs are at risk. This place has been a shitshow in a lot of ways, but I've never known the basic standards of communication to fall apart as badly as this.

On a more amusing side of things, yesterday we finally got signage outside of our office. I have never remotely cared about this, and it seems completely pointless, but fine. Some people care about this sort of thing. My boss' office, next door to ours, lists his name, the job title "Faculty Operations Director", and then the department underneath is listed as "School Operations". Maybe have another go around at that one, sign guy.