Loki Posted January 3, 2018 Share Posted January 3, 2018 Bobby Lashley (accompanied by Donald Trump) Batista in Double Denim And my pick for comeback of the year... Glacier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neil is brill Posted January 3, 2018 Share Posted January 3, 2018 Going for the same pick as I did last year. In a break from tradition, Big Boss Man enters at number 1 and is eliminated quickly by whoever the number 2 entrant is. The audience is in shock and awe, imagine the crowd reaction to Undertakers Wrestlemania streak ending and multiply it by 10000. Big Boss Man has lost the Royal Rumble for the first time. After 27 more entrants and the crowd absolutely shitting on everything that's happened during the match, we're down to the 30th entrant. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 BUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 2018 Royal Rumble: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonnybgoode82 Posted January 3, 2018 Share Posted January 3, 2018 The ring is filling up around number 12, the buzzer goes and it's Mark Henry complete with Sexual Chocolate garb but it's PG so it's Sharing Chocolate. He gets in the ring and brandishes a leftover tub of Celebrations from Christmas and starts to share them out with everyone in the ring before being dumped out by Baron Corbin, who is angry there's no Mars left. Finn Balor is cleaning house in his Demon get-up when the buzzer goes for entrant 23. The familiar strains of 'God of Thunder' start up and the KISS Demon begins making his way to the ring but this isn't Dale Torborg, nor the Ghost of Brian Adams, it's Gene Simmons himself. He gets in the ring, immediately squares up to Balor and issues him with a cease and desist order for the Demon gimmick - the referees ruling this eliminates the Irishman from the match. Gene begins to spitt blood, causing the trainers to come in the ring and rule he can't continue, so he spreads his wings and shoots up to the rafters. We're getting down to the nitty-gritty and numbers 26, 27 and 28 are Michael Knight, Bo and Luke Duke, they are cleaning house. People are flying out left, right and centre when three masked men storm the ring and eliminate them, unmasking to reveal Garth Knight, Coy and Vance Duke. WrestleMania main event books itself and gives us the biggest buyrate since the Resurrection. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members CleetusVanDamme Posted January 4, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted January 4, 2018 On 12/31/2012 at 4:47 PM, CleetusVanDamme said: #1 in the Rumble is Brodus Clay. Seeing as the ring is the empty, he decides it's an appropriate time to bust a groove, a decision that would cost him his career... *I'M THE GREATEST!... 1... 2... 123 HIT THAT!* The Cat sprints down to the ring, ducks Brodus' clothesline and Feliner kicks him over the top rope and straight out of the company. Cat grabs the mic and says "This has been a long time coming, HIT MY MUSIC!" *SOMEBODY CALL MY MAMA!* He spends the next hour cutting a rug and whooping 28 other rednecks to earn his WWE title match at Wrestlemania 29 30 31 32 33 34: The Great One vs The Greatest. And yes, I am going to pitch this same idea every year. 2017 marked a landmark year for The Greatest as he prepared for his WWE return. Going out to his car, getting his karate gi and whooping rednecks in Reality of Wrestling and Black Label Pro. He was at Wrestlemania last year probably finalizing a deal and posting teasing photos... And most importantly, training with and getting some assurances from another WCW legend that things are different for them in New York now... The proof is in the doll/pudding, WWE wouldn't put an hour long womens match and Brock Lesnar wrestling fucking Kane unless they had something extra special to balance that out. It's on! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Philjax Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 Kevin Spacey Rick (from 'and Morty' fame - via a portal) A Porg. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted January 4, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted January 4, 2018 Ken Boon, on his bike — rolls into the ring, puts up a good fight, but falls victim to a lungblower Super Calo — survives to the final four, because he's ace Ted Arcidi — enters at #30. Rather, doesn't enter, but goes to the apron and tips the ring over so the participants all fall out. Is declared champ for life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Lion_of_the_Midlands Posted January 4, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted January 4, 2018 He's a man who can clearly smell what The Rock has been cooking for all these years, but like any of his tackles you care to mention he is late on his attempt to take out The Peoples Champ. It's Carlton Palmer. Can he not knock it, you know he can't, but the two footed challenge on Kevin Owens is horrific an the outside referees are throwing up the injury sign. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon-Carr_92 Posted January 5, 2018 Share Posted January 5, 2018 We get a bit in. We have Bobby Fish and Kyle O'Reilly in the match by now and familiar music start. NORRIS COLE BAY BAY!!! Thanks 2014 PCW crowd for that outstanding thing. The first I saw that, I could not stop laughing. So it's the owner of The Kabin making his way to the ring as the crowd sing the Coronation Street theme. Both reDRagon members are in confusion as the Tron did say Cole at first. So it's a natural assumption it would be friend and rival Adam. So they get him on the ropes, only for Norris to duck, get out his copy of the Weatherfield Gazette, Kyle O'Reilly grabs it and takes a swing, but shades of NXT WarGames, he misses, it hits the ropes and bounces in his face dazing him. This gives Norris enough time to eliminate both from the match only for Adam to run in and throw him out after. Setting up a feud for a spot in the Andre Battle Royal at WrestleMania. A while later, the buzzer goes off with a familiar Italian aria as Miss WrestleMania makes her comeback. Santina Marella who was unable to enter the women's match earlier as they could only find her brother Santino's number as its been a while since she was with them. She is adamant that she isn't her brother in disguise when challenged. Stating that the next thing you know, you'll be telling her Mr America was Hulk Hogan. She hopes to continue the Streak of female wrestlers always scoring an elimination in the Rumble prior to the women's one happening. But climbing the ring ropes, she spots Kofi Kingston attempting his latest great escape, so she offers a hand, however he is in too tricky a predicament and she eventually loses her balance and goes out and takes Kofi with her. Last, but by no means least, No.30. Who could it be? Kenny Omega? Ricochet? Rey Mysterio who gets booed the moment his entrance hits for not being Daniel Bryan? Nope. We get Nacho. After years of contract discussions that went on more than a decade that even saw him have a profile on WWE.com briefly, the main character of the 2006 comedy about a monk-turned-wrestler finally makes his debut. He has Sister Encarnacion and Equeleto with him for support. Only for Ramses from the film to be discovered in the crowd, still furious about his loss back then. He tries to jump the barrier to confront him, but just like Rob Gronkowski at WrestleMania, he gets stooped by security who this time prevent the celebrity from getting involved, sadly for Nacho, this has distracted him long enough for Elias to throw him out. The following night on Raw, he gets challenged to a sing off. He makes sure to bring his double bass and Meat Loaf ruffled shirt to remind us of one of the funniest points of the film. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members air_raid Posted January 6, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted January 6, 2018 Three picks, you say? Fuck Balor Club, it's all about these lads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Jazzy G Posted January 7, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted January 7, 2018 First up is WWE's wellness guru, the epitome of clean living, it's Lex Luger Unfortunately he's not in the best of shape and soon finds himself in trouble with the Miztourage, but wait is help on the horizon? Just when things look like they're at their worst here comes STING! to make the save. Cole loses his shit and does his best Tony Schiovane impersonation. Oh wait, it's just Jeff Farmer as fake Sting. He helps the Miztourage in their humiliation of the Total Package, but then Luger's eyes widen with hope as: STING is here! Just not the one Luger was expecting. Needless to say Lex shows his true colours and turns heel on Sumner, siding with Farmer and the Miztourage to take him out of the match. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brailobadge Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 I'm going for Val Venus as number 20 and ends up winning the womens Royal Rumble through Attitude esq tom foolery. Also, my boringly perhaps Chris Jericho and The Honky Tonk Man for the men's. For the latter, Honky has a guitar-off with Elias, which results in the older timer being hit with the guitar. Who wants to walk with the Honky Tonk Man? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members PunkStep Posted January 7, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted January 7, 2018 I've already picked Jericho sucka Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator Onyx2 Posted January 7, 2018 Awards Moderator Share Posted January 7, 2018 Fink reads the rules and we're ready to go. "And the contestant who drew number one..." Over the Tanoy is a distinctly Northern voice. "Get yer dabbers and yer dibbers and yer dobbers and we're ready to go... It's Brian Potter!" Unfortunately Jerry St Clair left the brake off so Brian's entrance is more like this... Brian never manages to make it into the ring and is stretchered back. He joins esteemed talent like Randy Savage who never made it into the ring that year. The klaxon goes for number nine and... Pakistan's finest Max legs it in. Gives Balor a right-hander. Spinebuster to Seth Rollins. Code Red on Gallows. Big E gets a (wait for it)... PHOENIX SPLASH! Unfortunately he then spots Paddy going off to get chips without asking if he wants vinegar, so heaves himself over the top to go get his portion. Numbers 28 and 29 double-eliminate themselves Bulldog / Luger style. Whoever comes in net is the guaranteed winner. At number 30, clearly cribbing from Foley's 1998 Rumble... Bolton's chubby funster appears. Sadly he pulls out of the Rumble at the last minute for family reasons and no winner is crowned that year. He does however tape the show and flog it back to the Universe every other year in slightly different packaging. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members air_raid Posted January 9, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted January 9, 2018 On 07/01/2018 at 8:52 PM, Onyx2 said: He does however tape the show and flog it back to the Universe every other year in slightly different packaging. Arrows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simpo Posted January 10, 2018 Share Posted January 10, 2018 Howard Finkel is in the ring explaining the rules of the Rumble, but something seems slightly off.... "Now lets find out who drew number one! It's... me, Gene Parmesan, how you doing?" Yes, the low-quality, high-charisma private eye from Arrested Development has done it again, this time effortlessly? slipping into the guise of the Fink's cut price tux. The crowd goes wild, as it is suddenly apparent there are plenty of rich older ladies in attendance, including Lucille Bluth herself, who can't get enough of Gene's disguises and antics. The noise is only abated by the sound of "Wake Me Up, Before You Go-Go" hitting. Could it be? George Michael Bluth with a score to settle?? No! It's the less famous half of Wham, Andrew Ridgeley. Quite a mild mannered looking feller these days. But in his years out of the spotlight, he has clearly been training. Ridgeley goes apeshit on Parmesan, throwing him into a variety of suplexes and painful holds, much to the dismay and horror of old Lucille Bluth. "Ruthless" Andy Ridgeley refuses to throw the bedraggled, bashed-up detective out of the ring until others come in. It's quite the scene. Ridgeley dominates until the surprise return of Mini Vader, who wins. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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