Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted February 3, 2017 Author Paid Members Share Posted February 3, 2017 Ā I may have died and gone to heaven. Freshly cleaned bog in Cologne Station with no chod-shelf. I could have cried with happiness.A week in and I must say I'm loving the chod shelf. The UK should convert. My dad calls it the Merkel, but then I've actually seen him write "Nuttal for PM" on a comments section Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted February 10, 2017 Author Paid Members Share Posted February 10, 2017 We had a load of snow yesterday, and when I was walking from the bus to my office, I saw a young lad slip and just avoid falling on the corner. I was thinking "I bet his mates are laughing at him, looked a right flange," and then I went down like a tonne of bricks, smashed straight into the floor. Got up with a load of stomach pain, it faded away, but every time I cough it's like someone is lamping me one right in the belly. Contemplating going home, or to the doctor. Think I'll just go home, unless blood starts coming out of somewhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr.E Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Ā I may have died and gone to heaven. Freshly cleaned bog in Cologne Station with no chod-shelf. I could have cried with happiness. A week in and I must say I'm loving the chod shelf. The UK should convert. Ā Ā What the hell is a Chod Shelf? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted February 10, 2017 Author Paid Members Share Posted February 10, 2017 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr.E Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Do you have to sit facing the other way or something? I've honestly never seen a toilet of that design before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otto Dem Wanz Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 They're designed like that so you can examine your jobby for any irregularities, they're common across Europe (I used to have one in my flat in Barcelona) and no, you sit the same way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cobra_gordo Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 It's a bizarre experience the first time you use one as you turn around to watch your turd sliding off the shelf like a frogman going over the side of a boat backwards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Undefeated Steak Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 What if you have a bad case of diaharea on that thing? The splash back would be like something from the Guns of Navarone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr.E Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 As above, what happens if you have a particularly "large passing". It'd touch the bottom of that before it's come out!Ā Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Then your feet rise off the floor and it becomes a game of whether you can reach the ceiling before your log breaks off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted February 10, 2017 Author Paid Members Share Posted February 10, 2017 Further to my earlier mishap, I just went for a shit and it felt like someone crept up behind me and started furiously shivving me in the side. I imagine I'll pass an entire kidney sometime in the small hours of tomorrow. Adios, mundo cruel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Surf Digby Posted February 10, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted February 10, 2017 Further to my earlier mishap, I just went for a shit and it felt like someone crept up behind me and started furiously shivving me in the side. I imagine I'll pass an entire kidney sometime in the small hours of tomorrow. Adios, mundo cruel. Sprained abdominal perhaps? It is possible to bruise a kidney, and I'd imagine that's a long way short of being pleasant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members WWFChilli Posted February 10, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted February 10, 2017 Didn't get the Crystal Maze gig. Really wanted that. Ā In other news I did my first stand-up set in seven years last week. That went well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members gmoney Posted February 10, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted February 10, 2017 Who's set did you do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members WWFChilli Posted February 10, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted February 10, 2017 Dennis Leary's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts