Paid Members stumobir Posted July 4, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted July 4, 2016 Needing a wee bit of advice lads, if you'd be so kind. I have a drink problem but not in the sense that I drink too much, I actually very rarely drink these days because of the kind of drunk I am but on the rare occasion I do drink I always drink far too much. Â Anyway, I started a new job about 2 months ago and it seems pretty good so far but I've had to turn down two big nights out and other smaller invitations for a "couple of pints" already and I'm worried I'm starting to alienate myself from what seems like a good crowd. I'd love to be able to go out for a drink with everyone but whenever I get drunk I get massively inappropriate, normally quite confrontational and just generally make a massive arse of myself. It's not in my head either, I've been told by mates and family I'm not a good drunk and it's why I limit it to only drinking with the people that will put me in my place. Â I wish I could go out and only have a couple but I've never been able to do that and like others in her, I know that a couple of pints will end up being a dozen chased with half a dozen rums and I'll be on the blower looking for a Henry quicker than they can finish their dry roasted. Â I already know that the only sensible answer to this is keep avoiding the drink but the longer it goes the weirder I look, and my manager keeps going on about getting in some games this season and going out on the piss, I'm feigning enthusiasm but at some point I'm going to have to either go or come clean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deathrey Posted July 4, 2016 Share Posted July 4, 2016 Would going out and not drinking be possible? I don't drink and haven't in almost 13 years now, the main reason I stopped was because I was a terrible drunk and I became very abusive and self destructive, one drink was never an option so I just stopped drinking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members stumobir Posted July 4, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted July 4, 2016 It's probably what I'm going to have to do but it still opens the floodgates for the awkward conversations about why I don't drink. I'd like to think I could get to a point where I can go out and only have a few, I just don't think it's wise to practices in front of my bosses... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted July 4, 2016 Share Posted July 4, 2016 Do you drive? That's usually my get out clause, making out I'm either picking someone up later or have an early start so need to stay sober. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members SpursRiot2012 Posted July 4, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted July 4, 2016 It's a fucking sad indictment of the culture we live in that we think we'll be looked at like weirdos from not drinking Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MungoChutney Posted July 4, 2016 Share Posted July 4, 2016 I used to drink with my workmates quite regularly but between changes in the sector and having a family now I only ever go out for a couple of drinks or a meal with my colleagues. Some of them find that hard to understand because I used to be the one lining up the shots and encouraging others. Now, I'm much more reserved and controlled but there's a couple of the team left from the good/bad old days who will always try to talk me in to doing a shot or drinking 2 pint steins with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seanz25 Posted July 4, 2016 Share Posted July 4, 2016 Alternative option is to just lie and say your on antibiotics for something, that mean you can't drink. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted July 4, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted July 4, 2016 Yeah, I had to stop drinking for a while when I got put on brain medicine to stop the mental. Just said it was antibiotics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deathrey Posted July 4, 2016 Share Posted July 4, 2016 (edited) Because I'm brown people always assume it's a religious/cultural thing with me so I'm lucky I guess, I have a scapegoat. Though I have to balance that with wanting to shout at them for stereotyping, most the time I just agree and stay quiet though, it's easier Edited July 4, 2016 by deathrey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patiirc Posted July 4, 2016 Share Posted July 4, 2016 I've had the strangest relationship with drink for about the last 12 years or so. I come from a big family of drinkers, indeed my Aunt is full blown but currently on the wagon. However succession of jobs where the booze culture was part and parcel of daily life to the point that most of the office would be wankered of an afternonon and a series of personal disasters including my then fiancee getting nearly dead in a car crash and years of crippling illness, means that me and drink have a very weird and warped view. Â I can drink for fun and drink to relax. I do not need it to unwind and indeed can go ages 'dry'. However, there is the underlying throw back from when my back was to shit where I drank because it messes up pain receptors and nerve impulses, meaning there is less actual pain. I was by no means atypical during that stint, indeed out of my group in pain therapy I was the one who relied on substances to reduce the pain the least. However I cannot seem to rid that mindset! It's fucking annoying and I do get called a lush or functioning alky at times because I am a heavy drinker in my down time. Drink never does and never will affect my work or normal life I wont drink drive and I sure as hell wont drink for the sake of it. However as I'm getting older I appreciate what those closest are saying and wondering if I should seek some guidance or counselling for it. I am definitely open to ideas Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Duke Posted July 4, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted July 4, 2016 I don't drink at all. A large part of the reason for that is that my dad is an abusive drinker abd would get smashed every night to the extent that he couldn't stand. That warped my perception of drink, and to be honest made life really hard for my mum and me. Â I mention this not for sympathy, but because when i see you lot really wrestling with the drink,making sure it doesn't have any power over you, or even screwing up and knowing it was a screw up, I'm really encouraged. I wish my dad wrestled and worked at hus issues on this like you guys are, and its really encouraging to see you chaps working at it. Â I can't fully understand what you're dealing with, but I just wanted to let you know I'm rooting for you, and Im confident you can get it under control. I hope that's of some encouragement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Undefeated Steak Posted July 8, 2016 Author Share Posted July 8, 2016 Thanks for that Duke, means a lot. I mentioned the new job I've started a few posts back. Since I started, I've had three nights where I've drank. Â The first was a couple of bottles of Old Mout with a friend, and I went home straight after. The second was one pint after work, and I went home straight after. Last night, I had two cans of Dark Fruit Strongbow (easy lads, we're not in here to judge), and went home straight after. Â I'm not getting ahead of myself thinking I've cracked it or have control, or even getting confident. But each time, the reason I've headed home is because of the job, knowing I need to be up at 6. The job's so cushty that I'm considering putting other plans on hold for the forseeable future and it seems to be giving me a legitimate reason to stop at a couple of cans. Â I've mentioned a few times that I've felt like going entirely tee total is what I've wanted, but in the end it always seems to do more harm than good. I'll go a few months without touching a drop and the eventual inevitable fall off the wagon is always 10x worse for it. Â Being able to control the booze and have a couple of harmless pints once or twice a week is the holy grail for a lot of us. That there's no decisive answer to the issue is what makes it all the more difficult. Â I will reply to some of your posts when I'm next on the laptop but I'm shite at typing on my phone. Â Stay safe guys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted July 9, 2016 Share Posted July 9, 2016 (edited) wrong thread. Sorry Edited July 9, 2016 by Keith Houchen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted December 28, 2016 Share Posted December 28, 2016 Another year, another referral to alcohol support. Falling back into bad, destructive ways and want to nip it in the bud before I fuck up another relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperBacon Posted December 28, 2016 Share Posted December 28, 2016 Another year, another referral to alcohol support. Falling back into bad, destructive ways and want to nip it in the bud before I fuck up another relationship. It's so tough this time of year isn't it. I haven't drunk since 2009. But everything this time is geared around drinking, meeting up for drinks etc. Being on my own has been tough. I bought 4 beers on a whim Christmas Eve. They're still in the fridge and I feel stupid for buying them now. Â I have just tried to stay active and distracted as much as possible. I have smoked an unhealthy amount over the last 3 days though. Â Stay strong mate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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