Paid Members bAzTNM#1 Posted January 7, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted January 7, 2016 Â Â Everytime I open my door, he pops his head out and stands there staring until we move away. It's driving me mental. Â You sure someone's not propped a mirror up against the wall? Tremendous. Â Â I don't get it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slapnut Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 I lived next door to a bloke in Uni who would come around our house about once every two weeks and tell us he was going to report us for having a party the night before, when there was blatantly no party. Â Weirdly enough, the one time in the whole year when we did have a party he was nowhere to be seen. Â I think the most bizarre encounter I had with him was when he knocked our door and asked "which one of you bastards has thrown their tent in my back garden?". Â After about 5-10 minutes of him interrogating me and my housemates, he decided it must have been his own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
W35ty Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 Next door is a women who has to always talk on her mobile outside and she has to shout so i can hear her convo. Her front door is about 7 feet away from the other women who lives in front of us and they both sit outside under the porch that connects our houses smoking. The bitch does not stop giggling like a school girl and they both have the most annoying laughs. She has also developed a cough probably due to the smoking so sits outside coughing every 30 seconds. Before these 2 became friends the women opposite used to have really loud arguments with her boyfriend (she was pregnant and he never works). The things they used to say to each other was incredible. During one of them i noticed a girl standing at the side of the road on her mobile and 10 mins later the police arrived. That is how bad they were. Â My bedroom connects to the house behind me and i've never heard the 8/10 girl have sex which is a shame. Her parking is rubbish though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kidkris Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 Saw this thread and so many fantastic stories came to mind, I seem to have had the shit end of the stick when it comes to weird and wonderful neighbours. From the funny and kind will do anything to help you too the i'll be watching you sleep tonight wierdo's. Â One of my absolute favourites tho where a scottish couple that lived next door to me mum in darwen. These 2 were by far the worst of the worst they robbed houses, sold pretty much anything they could for any bit of money ( which included dyhydrocodine tablets that i used to buy off them cos i have the back of a 50 year old man). They really were shady characters but they made "friends" with my mum & every so often i would get a call off my mum upset saying that they had done something to fuck her over......Like it was a big suprise and my reaction would be "no.....They seem like such upstanding citizens" They always argued but when i say argued it sounded like at any moment someone or something could get thrown through a window. To be honest it was never a dull moment living next to them, As a side note they had a dog called jack 1 time i went round cos they asked me to look at there broken laptop (almost deffinatly stolen) and they were both eating dog food cos there benifits hadn't gone through yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Scott Malbranque Posted January 7, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted January 7, 2016 I’m sure I’m perceived as a weird neighbour, and after reading this thread, I’m now conscious of it. I always answer the door in either a vest that’s two sizes too small on me and ¾ length shorts even in the midst of the harshest winters, or a towel. It’s my house, and I’m not wearing socially acceptable clothing on the off chance some cunt knocks on the door asking for a fucking Oxo cube or a lump hammer. Or when I have the gaff to myself I get out my decks and start blaring house and trance music for an hour or two, which much have them gossiping among themselves that I’m going through a midlife crisis and am refusing to accept I’m in my mid thirties.Plus my car looks like a mobile skip. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members PunkStep Posted January 7, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted January 7, 2016 Or when I have the gaff to myself I get out my decks and start blaring house and trance music for an hour or two, which much have them gossiping among themselves that I’m going through a midlife crisis and am refusing to accept I’m in my mid thirties.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xO_oZ4Wa9E Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WyattSheepMask Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 You'll cut off the circulation if you keep wearing 3/4 length shorts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted January 7, 2016 Moderators Share Posted January 7, 2016 I’m sure I’m perceived as a weird neighbour, and after reading this thread, I’m now conscious of it. I always answer the door in either a vest that’s two sizes too small on me and ¾ length shorts even in the midst of the harshest winters, or a towel. It’s my house, and I’m not wearing socially acceptable clothing on the off chance some cunt knocks on the door asking for a fucking Oxo cube or a lump hammer. Or when I have the gaff to myself I get out my decks and start blaring house and trance music for an hour or two, which much have them gossiping among themselves that I’m going through a midlife crisis and am refusing to accept I’m in my mid thirties. Plus my car looks like a mobile skip. Oh shit. This is me, except the vest is only too small where my fat gut is, and I'm wearing a lungi, and the music is hip hop. (Also my car is tidy).  Also, unreleated except in that it's how I answered the door to them, but I had Jehovas Witnesses at the door today for the first time ever. A landmark moment for me! Sadly I just looked at them blankly, said I was working and about to take a call and they just handed me a leaflet and left. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matbro1984 Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 I work at home, and therefore my office attire tends to consist of any old shit that happens to be comfortable. Today, for example, I am pairing Batman pyjama bottoms with a one of those Street Fighter knitted Christmas jumpers that I got as a gift. I stopped giving a fuck years ago about what people thought when I answer the door.  What I'm saying is: On this street, I think I am that neighbour. At least for now.  The benchmark for my street was set 5 years ago by the bloke 2 doors up who converted his house into cannabis factory, one of his workers was electrocuted, and they dumped the body in a ditch a few miles away. Suffice to say he does not presently occupy that property... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members SpursRiot2012 Posted January 7, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted January 7, 2016 Re: shared ownership and council tenants. Â Yeah, I now live in a shared ownership place and am included on resident association emails and these people HATE the social housing people. I'm a council house brat so I don't judge, but people who own 40% of their home think they're so much better than social housing tenants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Surf Digby Posted January 7, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted January 7, 2016 Also, unreleated except in that it's how I answered the door to them, but I had Jehovas Witnesses at the door today for the first time ever. A landmark moment for me! Sadly I just looked at them blankly, said I was working and about to take a call and they just handed me a leaflet and left.Normally when JW's knock on my door, I take them up on their offer of talking about The Bible and ask them a lot of questions. Usually they just tell me to read Galatians (which is essentially a press release and answers nothing) and try to get away as fast as possible, however the other week there was one who was really open minded and we had a good chap. Her androgynous counterpart looked decidedly uncomfortable with the conversation though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Carbomb Posted January 7, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted January 7, 2016 My sister's method of getting rid of Jovos is very simple: she just yells back into the house "Daaaaaad! Infidels!" and my dad comes to talk to them. With his big moustache and Asian appearance, they generally don't tend to stick around Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Bettencourt Posted January 7, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted January 7, 2016 You realise you HAVE to shit on that car, right? Or stick a dildo on his bonnet like an ornament. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Monkee Posted January 7, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted January 7, 2016 Fucking hell, Monk, that's grim. Yeah, and he won big on the fucking lottery a few years after getting out of prison. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gbacon85 Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 Our neighbour is OK the majority of the time but he's a bit of a piss head and looks rough as arseholes most days. Â He's quiet in his house apart from when he comes home and slams the door shut and I mean fucking slam. All hours, he also, no matter what time, sits in his car stationary when he pulls up blaring the radio!!! Â Plus the missus caught him pissing in the garden at about 3am a while back. Â He's nothing though, I lived above a crack dealer in Feltham a few years ago. Bantz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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