Paid Members SiMania Posted January 20, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted January 20, 2016 Monkee, this is Ralphy. Ralphy, this is Monkee. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Professor Paul's Bin Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 Just want to say thanks to everyone who gave me some advice just after Christmas for the situation I was going through. I wasn't expecting a miracle or anything.. Possibly just a way to vent out some frustrations and feelings. Instead the advice really helped me and I am great full. It made me understand the situation more. I was expecting to be fully over it and the truth is you'll always look back at the time as a shitty time you've gone through. I just needed to stop beating myself up over it. Cheers guys! Â I've got the most clear head I've had for a long time. I've quit smoking, spoke to the ex in person to be civil, saw her new boyfriend out on a night on the ale - not letting it bother me and have began seeing someone again. So it's all going very well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GPW Kristian Zane Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 Â I tend to avoid posting in this thread but bugger it. I'm perpetually single. Most of the time I'm happy this way as I enjoy my own company and independence but then sometimes (as mentioned above) it'd be nice to have someone to sleep next to. Although I go out quite a bit with friends, I rarely go out to places where you'd normally meet people (i.e. bars and clubs) and although I'm on a couple of dating websites they're not really working for me (maybe my profile repels the opposite sex)... I find myself in the same situation. Dating sites don't seem to be working for me because once you get past the superficial element (I wouldn't consider myself particularly unattractive but I'm certainly no hunk and I don't seem to photograph well) it's hard for me to find someone who shares my interests. The pub/club scene isn't for me because (among other reasons) I'm too socially awkward/anxious to try and have a conversation with someone who hasn't initiated it themselves. Couple my anxiety with a real lack of self confidence and I'm just shit out of luck. Like you, I enjoy my own company but I've been spending too much time with myself and feel like I need to change things up. Essentially I don't want to try and force myself into finding someone, but just letting it happen naturally isn't gonna happen so I'm a bit lost. Â I hear you. I was in a relationship for over a year which ended before Christmas. Met her at work, really hit it off. Before that I was single for a very long time. Now I worry that was it, based on the things you have mentioned. I think it'll just be right place, right time for guys like us but don't give up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 Just want to say thanks to everyone who gave me some advice just after Christmas for the situation I was going through. I wasn't expecting a miracle or anything.. Possibly just a way to vent out some frustrations and feelings. Instead the advice really helped me and I am great full. It made me understand the situation more. I was expecting to be fully over it and the truth is you'll always look back at the time as a shitty time you've gone through. I just needed to stop beating myself up over it. Cheers guys! I've got the most clear head I've had for a long time. I've quit smoking, spoke to the ex in person to be civil, saw her new boyfriend out on a night on the ale - not letting it bother me and have began seeing someone again. So it's all going very well. Good stuff! That's nice to hear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted March 18, 2016 Share Posted March 18, 2016 I'm officially divorced. Seriously lads, if you're with someone, cherish them and respect them, don't act like a fucking arsehole or be an addict. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Duke Posted March 18, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted March 18, 2016 That's really, really pants to hear Houchen. This is probably a really dumb question, but how're you holding up? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted March 18, 2016 Share Posted March 18, 2016 Better now it's all done and dusted. Been waiting six weeks for it and now I feel like I can start to try and rebuild my life. Fell off the wagon a lot recently but actually feel a bit clearer now it's done. Still gutted, like, but feeling a twinge of hope Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King of Hamptons Posted March 19, 2016 Share Posted March 19, 2016 (edited) EditSorry to hear that Keith. Edited March 19, 2016 by King of Hamptons Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UK Kat Von D Posted March 19, 2016 Share Posted March 19, 2016 Sorry to hear that dude. It is so easy to fall off the wagon if that kind of thing is in your past, you've just got to focus the best you can on keeping a clear head. If you can manage to stay straight laced you will find yourself in a happier place a lot sooner. Self medicating only prolongs issues Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stunner Posted March 20, 2016 Share Posted March 20, 2016 (edited) Remember my previous posts about the girl I fell for who had the boyfriend, told me she wanted me, but then changed her mind? Â In short, eleven months later and she still won't give up. And I'm unable to move on because life hasn't been too friendly to me since. And I have absolutely no idea where this is all heading! Edited March 20, 2016 by Stunner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hallicks Posted March 20, 2016 Share Posted March 20, 2016 (edited) I know it's tough, but maybe you need to make it clear to her that you don't want to hear from her because it's too hard for you. I don't think you can go back to being just friends. There's too many feelings involved that are out there, and you need that closure. Even though, from everything you've said, of course she'd be better off sacking off the original fella and getting with you. But people are stupid, and you have to believe you'll end up with someone who actually cares about you and not just keeping you hanging on with the faint whiff of possibility. Â The hardest thing is to cut that cord, but once you've done it, you can start learning to be happy by yourself again. Edited March 20, 2016 by hallicks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Kaz Hayashi Posted March 21, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted March 21, 2016 Hi all, Â Just wanted to give people in here the heads up, World Mental Health week focus on a different topic every year, regarding advice and awareness sharing. Â This year the focus is relationships. Â It's obvious that a number of people on here have gone through the mill and some are find it very difficult to deal with and function. Saying that, you're obviously at a point where you want to communicate, hence the posts in this thread, which is great. Â Anyway, just wanted to bring it to your attention, it could be somewhat useful for anyone currently feeling shit. Â https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/campaigns/mental-health-awareness-week Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted March 21, 2016 Paid Members Share Posted March 21, 2016 (edited) Right. After having spent the last four months in my new residence of bumblefuck Wiltshire, where the men are men and the women are men too, I have decided to sign up to an internet dating site. Anyone had success with these? Any advice on which one to go for and what to do? Does everyone find the intro questions as cringe-inducing as me? Â I'm not doing Tinder. It's basically selling your knob like they do prime cattle at the Bath and West Show. I'll whack on some Hai-Karate, big up the Bryll Cream and head down the local Yate's Wine Lodge if I want that. Edited March 21, 2016 by Gus Mears Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Briefcase Posted March 21, 2016 Share Posted March 21, 2016 I know it's tough, but maybe you need to make it clear to her that you don't want to hear from her because it's too hard for you. I don't think you can go back to being just friends. There's too many feelings involved that are out there, and you need that closure. Even though, from everything you've said, of course she'd be better off sacking off the original fella and getting with you. But people are stupid, and you have to believe you'll end up with someone who actually cares about you and not just keeping you hanging on with the faint whiff of possibility.  The hardest thing is to cut that cord, but once you've done it, you can start learning to be happy by yourself again.  I would go with this advice. I've been in a similar position and even though part of me still to this day will always have fondness about that person I do feel better for moving on and letting go, its best to cut ties altogether and pick yourself up from there and start fresh than to keep clinging on for hope hoping/wishing something can happen whilst always worrying or stressing over things out of your control.  It's not worth it for your health, be the one in control and walk away knowing that you did all you could but also that it was you who did so on your own accord and not her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Undefeated Steak Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 I'm not doing Tinder. It's basically selling your knob like they do prime cattle at the Bath and West Show. I'll whack on some Hai-Karate, big up the Bryll Cream and head down the local Yate's Wine Lodge if I want that. Â Â That's your tagline sorted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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