Post of the Year 2010 Now Online

[CuckedByMenry]

I really liked this one from the "If you could book any angle ever" thread:

 

Mine happens now in TNA, Upset at being on a losing streak and getting buried Christopher Daniels asks Eric Bischoff for 2 weeks off, Bisch grants his request, later in the show we see Daniels talking to So Cal Val, he tells her he's got 2 weeks off, what are you going to do she asks, Well says Daniels, I've always wanted to go to Egypt...

 

The next week on Impact we see Daniels in Egypt looking at the sights (pyramids and shit) and he sees a mysterious scarab in the sand, he picks it up and his eyes glow (this storyline is so awesome).

 

Next week we see a vignette of Daniels in the airport arriving back in America but he's dressed in robes with an Egyptian beard cover thing on, he's being rude and dismissive to everyone also he's talking in ancient Egyptian (this is sick)

 

Next week on Impact we see Daniels Talking to Eric Bischoff in his office, he's in robes and he's being aggressive, listen Daniels Bischoff says, Daniels slaps him and shouts Teth Amon! (this is his new name) and walks out.

After Daniels walks out Bischoff looks furious and says to Hulk Hogan (who just walked in) Hulk if Daniels thinks he can treat me like that he's got another thing coming, I'm going to put him in a handicap match tonight against Matt Morgan and Hernandez!

 

The match is the main event and Daniels comes out to some Egyptian sounding music wearing a gold robe and headdress and carrying a snake staff he is announced as Teth Amon and beats Morgan and Hernandez cleanly, he then goes on a massive winning streak, great eh?

That's brilliant.

[Quentin]

I've always had a soft spot for Matt Hardy, but that may be be fuelled by my underlying pity for him. If news broke tomorrow that he'd topped himself, the only thing which would surprise people is that he didn't manage to make a mess of it. He's like that lad in school who walks around the playground at lunchtime on his own, muttering to the pigeons. That kid who would have his packed lunch with the supply teacher. He probably played a door in the Christmas play. You can picture him in twenty years time, all bitter and twisted about never getting that big break despite the fact that he is devoid of personality. He'll also have hair like Gerry Francis. Despite starting this post by saying I had a soft spot for him, I now hate him. He's shit at everything. I bet he has B.O. too.

 

 

 

Wonder what the sun's headline would be if he was posting on here?

 

Bulger Killer Was Chris Benoit Fan.

 

We can reveal today that sick Jamie Bulger killer Jon Venables was a fan of child-killer Chris Benoit. While Jamie's family still have to suffer with their loss, Jon Venables spent his days and nights posting on Benoit-worship site 'The UKFF'.

 

The internet forum, which has a BNP-inspired logo, spends most of it's time:

 

- Talking about the killers 'workrate'

- Telling SICK jokes about cancer-stricken angel JADE GOODY

- MOCKING poor STEPHEN GATELY

- HARRASSING wrestling promoters like STEPHEN GAUNTLEY

- TEASING the handicapped mentalists on their board like MAB and 'VICTOR C'

 

One insider, who goes by the violent name of 'Carbomb' said 'it's sick. They constantly tease people and praise Chris Benoit, despite the fact he violently murdered kids, just like Jon Venables. I worry about immigrants. I think anyone who murders kids like poor sweet Jamie Bulger and poor little Daniel Benoit should be killed.'

 

 

I second both of these... if that is even possible to do.

 

And choosing between them will be heartbreaking because they are both awesome and have me giggling like a nutter over here.

[NEWM]

I know I've already voted for one this month, but that Waterboy one is another tough one to beat. Absolutely superb.

[King Pitcos]

I'm torn between that Waterboy one and this one from Richie Freebird/Ian_Hitmanhart.

 

Stupid gimmicks like this make a laughing stock out of our sport.

I think people take an evil clown far more seriously than people that call oily men pretending to fight "our sport".

[Loki]

Sylvia Tidy-Harris

She's missing out on some serious money by not taking the role as the perfect spokeswoman for anal bleaching.

 

Quality.

[BionicRedneck]

There are several contenders in the last couple of pages of the Relationships thread.

[The Icon]

How much will it cost the South Africa police to marshal the Scotland fans this summer?

 

And with that pathetic comeback, i'll rest my case.

 

It's going to be a bastard when you do qualify again. FIFA have no idea where their copy of Flower Of Scotland is stored. All they know is it's in a dusty box somewhere with a Yugoslavian flag and Gary Glitter's invitation to perform at the opening ceremony in 2002.

 

ZING!

[martyngnr]

How much will it cost the South Africa police to marshal the Scotland fans this summer?

 

And with that pathetic comeback, i'll rest my case.

 

It's going to be a bastard when you do qualify again. FIFA have no idea where their copy of Flower Of Scotland is stored. All they know is it's in a dusty box somewhere with a Yugoslavian flag and Gary Glitter's invitation to perform at the opening ceremony in 2002.

 

ZING!

I'll second this one.

[FLips]

WHYYYYYY??????!

 

I laughed out loud at this. Not because of how it came about, just his reaction to it.

[David]

How much will it cost the South Africa police to marshal the Scotland fans this summer?

 

And with that pathetic comeback, i'll rest my case.

 

It's going to be a bastard when you do qualify again. FIFA have no idea where their copy of Flower Of Scotland is stored. All they know is it's in a dusty box somewhere with a Yugoslavian flag and Gary Glitter's invitation to perform at the opening ceremony in 2002.

I'll go with this one as well!

[The King Of Swing]

Dont know if it has been mentioned but the following gets my vote.

 

Anyone who actually considers this watchable, and even slightly credible, has no place posting on this forum.

 

Anyone who insists on being such a preachy fucking mong has no place posting in this thread.

 

The truth hurts ? Give me a counter argument, rather than just calling me a mong for declaring what is essentially offensive to fans of professional wrestling for 20 years, like me.

 

Or just fuck off.

 

You take it all too seriously. If you can't see an entertaining side to this video, don't watch it again, but don't get on your ludicrous high horse and start patronising the people that do. People like you are the reason why decent people choose not to attend countless local shows around the country, bcause they know they will encounter some humourless arse with a chip on his shoulder and Lance Storm's jizz on his chin.

 

So in a nutshell, you, and everything you are is killing wrestling from the ground up. I hope you're really proud of yourself. You've ruined it for all of us.

 

Bless you NEWM

[Gwailofilms]

I just got a chuckle out of this in the main questions thread:-

 

Why does Undertaker wear eye-liner?

 

For the same reason he wears leather trousers and make-up: it gives him a cheap thrill that I can't morally explain to you until you're a little older.

[The Cum Doctor]

Why cant shit ever go right for British wrestling

 

Because every wrestler, and every promoter is a bitter little bitch who is desperate to be a star and will fuck over every other wrestler, and every other promotion if it means they can main event one in exchange. You have shows like 101, where people feed stories to people on here and try and bury the show before anything even happens and then give away booking as well. Then you have stuff like this show, which from what I overheard someone talking about on the phone at the 101 show, has had all talent pulled by Alex Shane for an FWA convention and show. Maybe because he fell out with Danny and G, maybe because he's soft enough to consider The Olympia HIS venue, and if Danny booked it without his consent he's gone in a huff about it.

 

It's amazing that everyone says there's no money to be made in BritWres. But if people put half the effort in to working together, that they put in to trying to ruin each others companies and 'careers' the UK scene would be blossoming. Really, people can shit all over a company like 101 because their imports didn't show up. But no one complained that it was the imports fault, instead it was 101's fault and then they're quick to call the show shit and say the company is bad. Now everyone who was tempted to go but didn't cause the imports didn't show, are going to see all the complaints and think that BritWres is crap. So why then go to DPW, RDW or others in similar areas. 101 was a big show, and was slated for their BritWres show, so surely a show that prides itself on the BritWres aspect and wont have a big show feeling is going to be shit, and they'll decide that before even going to it.

 

Anyway, enough babble: Pope vs Burridge I think is a bad choice. Good for Burridge, but I don't like it. Think a lot of Pope will have to be sacrificed in order to make sure Burridge remains protected as one of 1PW's big names. But given that we don't know who is available for the show, Burridge may be the best they had, and it certainly won't be a bad match by any means.

 

I have to nominate this. Amazing.

[Carbomb]

Wait, everyone thinks Dillkid is on the level now? I thought his whole '14 year old with the interests and knowledge of a 30 year old' thing was a work.

If it is, it's a nice companion gimmick to Lumber Jack's '30 year old with the mental capacity of a 14 year old.'

[Tom Fun]

First time i have nominated someone. But it has to be this from Stug Rivers, in the what would you do to change impact thread:

 

 

Get a new commentary team. I've never liked Taz as a commentator; I just can't buy hearing someone - who was famous for being angry, dangerous and oblivious to smiling - chuckling with Mike Tenay and jointly being way too caught up in what they're talking about. Granted it's part of their job to do so, but it's far too much resembles acting shocked at a surprise party you already knew about. As for Tenay, sweet Jesus. It's like if AIDS had a sound.

 

The bold part had me in stiches for a while.