Moderators PowerButchi Posted November 20, 2009 Moderators Share Posted November 20, 2009 National Insurance contributions should fuck her up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members DEF Posted November 20, 2009 Paid Members Share Posted November 20, 2009 To be honest, she already has a small cult following with a few of my mates and their colleagues, who get these stories on email on a regular basis. Some of them are convinced I'm making her up, but she is real. Very real. A few of them have suggested the idea of a book or blog, but at this moment I can't risk making something too public in case someone gets on to it who has been witness to any of the tales. Like I said though, despite the entertainment she brings to many, I may have to do what I've been delaying and get shut. Once she's out the door, this shit is going global.  In the meantime though, we could make this a bit more fun:  1) Conversation starters. Think of a few topics which you feel may be the catalyst to another gem of a conversation. Don't bombard me with too many as I try not to engage in conversation too much so it would look obvious, but feel free to suggest something that may confuse her. No, that's too broad a category. Try to think of something she may think she knows about, but doesn't. Fuck. No. Still too broad. Oh sod it, thrown your suggestions this way and I'll see if I can crowbar some into everyday office chatter.  2) Any suggestions which generate some more nonsense, will be pitted off against each other and we can have a pre-Christmas vote as to which is best.  3) Whoever made the suggestion wins. They get a prize. A prize I am going to crack on with over the weekend.  This idea might die a death, but my friends, her time with us may be short so let's get as much entertainment as possible out of her.  I'm so entertained by her I might consider chipping in to keep her in your employment Waterboy. Please for everyone on the UKFF keep her for as long as humanly possible. It really is the highlight of a working day when your name pops up in this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiamTheGreat Posted November 20, 2009 Share Posted November 20, 2009 ask her about the troubles in Northan Ireland. For some reason I think whatever her opinion is is going to be gold Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator Frankie Crisp Posted November 23, 2009 Author Awards Moderator Share Posted November 23, 2009 (edited) Sigh. Â One of the lads here knows someone who Edited November 23, 2009 by The Waterboy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Carbomb Posted November 23, 2009 Paid Members Share Posted November 23, 2009 I've joined the Waterboy Bandwagon - I now click on this thread every time I see your name on the "Last Post" bit. Â I was not disappointed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 I've joined the Waterboy Bandwagon - I now click on this thread every time I see your name on the "Last Post" bit. Â I was not disappointed. Yep, save me a seat on that wagon too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Monkee Posted November 23, 2009 Paid Members Share Posted November 23, 2009 (edited) When's your Christmas party? Can we all turn up just to meet her? I'll be purely coincidental that we're all there of course... Â Â \/ PS I'll bring Santa. \/ Edited November 23, 2009 by Monkee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Me Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 Careful, she probably thinks Santa's another name for the Devil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Mojo Rising Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 (edited) Not an idiot I work with but still an Idiot. Â Yesterday as I was early meeting a mate in pub for a few pints decided to have a look in one or two shops. BHS had a 20% off everything sale, I heard a guy arguing with his wife that because he had purchased something for Edited November 23, 2009 by Mr Mojo Rising Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steveo2007 Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 Sigh. One of the lads here knows someone who Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members tiger_rick Posted November 23, 2009 Paid Members Share Posted November 23, 2009 Half my office got made redundant today. Probably the worst day of my life. Then I remember that I paid for the Xmas party in full on my credit card. Fucking idiot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members SpursRiot2012 Posted November 23, 2009 Paid Members Share Posted November 23, 2009 "...actually sent itself back in time to turn itself off because it will destroy the world"Â He was being serious. Â To be fair I saw an article on BBC News where some scientists were hypothesising that this was indeed the case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tequila_Boy Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 (edited) Waterboy, before Jan 1st please put all your posts in this thread into one post or limk so it makes post of the year easier Edited November 23, 2009 by Tequila_Boy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJSTYLES Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 (edited) When I used to work at a hotel I had this really stupid Muslim who was about 17, he said that the Tsunami was caused by George Bush. Apparently George Bush got everyone in the army to bomb the Indian Oceans. Â He also once claimed that you should never order the Pepsi from the chicken shops as they inject Aids into the cans. Edited November 26, 2009 by AJSTYLES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Carbomb Posted November 26, 2009 Paid Members Share Posted November 26, 2009 When I used to work at a hotel I had this really stupid Muslim who was about 17, he said that the Tsunami was caused by George Bush. Apparently George Bush got everyone in the army to bomb the Indian Oceans. Â He also once claimed that you should never order the Pepsi from the chicken shops as they inject Aids into the cans. Â What does it have to do with him being Muslim? He sounds like a regular crackpot conspiracy theorist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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