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Idiots at work


Frankie Crisp

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To be honest, she already has a small cult following with a few of my mates and their colleagues, who get these stories on email on a regular basis. Some of them are convinced I'm making her up, but she is real. Very real. A few of them have suggested the idea of a book or blog, but at this moment I can't risk making something too public in case someone gets on to it who has been witness to any of the tales. Like I said though, despite the entertainment she brings to many, I may have to do what I've been delaying and get shut.

 

Once she's out the door, this shit is going global.

 

In the meantime though, we could make this a bit more fun:

 

1) Conversation starters. Think of a few topics which you feel may be the catalyst to another gem of a conversation. Don't bombard me with too many as I try not to engage in conversation too much so it would look obvious, but feel free to suggest something that may confuse her. No, that's too broad a category. Try to think of something she may think she knows about, but doesn't. Fuck. No. Still too broad. Oh sod it, thrown your suggestions this way and I'll see if I can crowbar some into everyday office chatter.

 

2) Any suggestions which generate some more nonsense, will be pitted off against each other and we can have a pre-Christmas vote as to which is best.

 

3) Whoever made the suggestion wins. They get a prize. A prize I am going to crack on with over the weekend.

 

This idea might die a death, but my friends, her time with us may be short so let's get as much entertainment as possible out of her.

 

I'm so entertained by her I might consider chipping in to keep her in your employment Waterboy. Please for everyone on the UKFF keep her for as long as humanly possible. It really is the highlight of a working day when your name pops up in this thread.

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Not an idiot I work with but still an Idiot.

 

Yesterday as I was early meeting a mate in pub for a few pints decided to have a look in one or two shops. BHS had a 20% off everything sale, I heard a guy arguing with his wife that because he had purchased something for

Edited by Mr Mojo Rising
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"...actually sent itself back in time to turn itself off because it will destroy the world"

 

He was being serious.

 

To be fair I saw an article on BBC News where some scientists were hypothesising that this was indeed the case.

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When I used to work at a hotel I had this really stupid Muslim who was about 17, he said that the Tsunami was caused by George Bush. Apparently George Bush got everyone in the army to bomb the Indian Oceans.

 

He also once claimed that you should never order the Pepsi from the chicken shops as they inject Aids into the cans.

Edited by AJSTYLES
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When I used to work at a hotel I had this really stupid Muslim who was about 17, he said that the Tsunami was caused by George Bush. Apparently George Bush got everyone in the army to bomb the Indian Oceans.

 

He also once claimed that you should never order the Pepsi from the chicken shops as they inject Aids into the cans.

 

What does it have to do with him being Muslim? He sounds like a regular crackpot conspiracy theorist.

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