The Hoff Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 I got the guy I hated fired on friday. Goodtimes. Â He was a cock. Â You can't just leave it there! Details! Â Lets just say this 24 year old man (f-ing child) who generallly tried to get the rest of my team in major shit came unstuck. He got caught blocking the men's urinals with toilet paper by a friend of mine. lets just say I had no problem dobbing him in. Â Glad I did too, cause i broke into his drawers (shh, don't tell anyone!) and found a shed load of work that he had blamed me for loosing/not doing. Â He had also been photocopying peoples passes, cutting out the heads and sticking them on stupid pictures like Ghostbusters or Ballet Dancers and passing them around to his mates to try and make fun of people. Â Little Bastard had it comming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator Frankie Crisp Posted November 19, 2009 Author Awards Moderator Share Posted November 19, 2009 (edited) Oh yes, we have more, as promised. These conversations took place over the course of a few days when she was trying to get a better deal on her car insurance and after the first one which ended in a tantrum, I started to make little notes, just knowing the potential on the horizon. Â I've had to fill in a few gaps, but this is as accurate as you're going to get from someone with a melted brain. Â Enjoy... Â Number 1 Â The following was a conversation she had with some poor bastard who she called when she'd already had a handful of expensive quotes, so I can only relay the bits I heard: Â "Hello I want a quote for insurance" ----- "Okay but I've had to do this loads and every time I have it's too expensive. Could you tell me what your cheapest insurance is? Then if it's cheap then I'll give you all the details but I'm not spending ages telling you all my info if it's going to come out dead expensive" ----- "Well you must be able to" ----- "So you'll only give me a price if I give you all that?" ----- "For God's sake, okay..." Â She then proceeded to rattle of the information which I've heard that many times, I now know off by heart, only to be quoted a ridiculous price, which prompted: Â "WELL THANKS FOR NOTHING" Â She then slammed the phone down. I had to leave the room. _____________________ Â Number 2 Â Another one I overheard was when she had a high quote and the person on the phone told her possible reasons for the increase: Â Â Edited November 19, 2009 by The Waterboy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kawaii Guy Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 I clicked on to type a story from work from the last 2 days, But following The Waterboy and his Female Pilkington is futile. Thank you good sir for finding this remarkable lady. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Chilly McFreeze Posted November 19, 2009 Paid Members Share Posted November 19, 2009 (edited) Waterboy, that was amazing. I've been reading these conversations aload to my girlfriend and she is can't get enough of them. The line about her car being made in 1957 had us in stiches! Edited November 19, 2009 by Chilly McFreeze Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_original Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 she'll need a car, to drive to the other end of her 70 foot long desk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Deaq Posted November 19, 2009 Paid Members Share Posted November 19, 2009 it's like she's fucking five! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator Frankie Crisp Posted November 19, 2009 Author Awards Moderator Share Posted November 19, 2009 it's like she's fucking five! Deaq, you absolute saint of a man. For months, a few of the lads in work have been trying to find a suitable name we can use when we're ripping the piss out her, but one which her mates won't get onto. From this day forth, she will be known as Jillian Russell. Â That, along with the FedEx arrow voodoo shit in the Off-Topic Questions thread, has made my bloody night! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam G Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 Waterboy, does she have an alibi? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Justice Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 That's what I was going to say. Â "With all due respect, your role doesn't justify a company car so it wouldn't be signed off by your boss" "You're my boss!" "I know." Â That was great btw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted November 20, 2009 Awards Moderator Share Posted November 20, 2009 Number 4 was my favourite. But brilliant stuff all round, once again, just the thing to lighten up my mind after a 15 hour work day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freaky Posted November 20, 2009 Share Posted November 20, 2009 As her boss, I hope you gave her a bollocking for sorting out her car insurance on work time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator Frankie Crisp Posted November 20, 2009 Author Awards Moderator Share Posted November 20, 2009 As her boss, I hope you gave her a bollocking for sorting out her car insurance on work time. To be fair to the girl, she did do most of it during her lunch hour and breaks, but I did have to pull her up a few times when it started to take the piss. I felt a tad hypocritical having to tell her to stop using work time for personal use, when moments later I was frantically making notes of the lunacy so I could post the cretin chronicles on here. Â Ah, the joys of management. Â Oh and for those who've asked, there's no chance of pictures or webcams. I wouldn't inflict her on you or anyone else I don't detest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted November 20, 2009 Share Posted November 20, 2009 In other words, you shagged a thick munter and have enough shame about it as it is. Keep 'em coming, Waterboy, these tales are great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Au Posted November 20, 2009 Paid Members Share Posted November 20, 2009 I've got to ask; what does she actually do?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harvey Dent Posted November 20, 2009 Share Posted November 20, 2009 What does she do? Entertain. That was brilliant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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