Dr. Alan Grant’s Royal Rumble Adventures

[Mr_Danger]

I really enjoyed that. I liked the old school lay out with the long arse entrance way and extended floor seating.  I dipped in and out of the women’s rumble. I did stop to ask my lady how old she thinks Charlotte Flair is, 58. Wrestlers age like warm milk. 
 

Arsed with the tag match, could have been a Smackdown main event. All the good wrestling in the world wouldn’t get me invested in these guys and I used to be a massive Alex Shelley mark waiting with baited breath for him to join the big leagues and become the new Chris Jericho (shut up). What a shit job they’ve done at showcasing the personality and charisma of the Machine Guns. This is not the Alex Shelley who said it stings when I stop when taking a piss in TNA.

Cracking ladder match. I liked the running Cody’s face right in to the camera lens. Has that been done a lot? Feels like one of those things Kevin Dunn would have cried about. The Alabama slam through the ladder and subsequent bump looked great. Cody lauding it over him a bit at the end. 
 

Excellent men’s Rumble I thought. I had £2.50 on each of Cena and Paul. Still wondering how neither didn’t come in. Loved the winner choice though. However they book his main event and who against it won’t matter, it’s the monstrous entrance and the feels at the end that will count. As if they’ve been calling him main event for a year and it’s actually lead to him being a main eventer.

Look, I know we all hate Seth etc but I actually think he’s a good wrestler capable of exciting matches. I also think when he’s not a cackling buffoon and he somewhat resembles a serious man he is 100x more watchable. I think Roman brings that out in him. I think Punk brings that out in him. I haven’t got a clue where they go with it but that’s the good thing about the result.

Fuck knows what they do with Big Patch John as well. Evil corporate Cody vs Good corporate John for the soul of the corporation?

[TheScarlettChad]

Just now, Hannibal Scorch said:

25 years ago, The Rock cut a promo saying there were two wrestlers who might cause The Rock an issue during the Royal Rumble match. One was Crash Holly, the other was Headbanger Mosh.

I fell asleep. And was woke up by Michael Cole saying Jay Uso had won the Royal Rumble and thought they finally did it. 

Has there been a less deserving winner of a Royal Rumble? Now I haven’t watched the match yet (I was watching collision on the TV and had the Rumble on my phone), but thought the Women’s Rumble was ok. Some weird spots where the women didn’t know how to pad for time, but whatever. Charlotte winning was almost inevitable so, yeah. 
 

Can’t believe they made MCMG vs DIY a 2/3 falls match. It was fine, crowd didn’t care and the finish sucked.

As much as the build has been enjoyable, I didn’t think Cody/KO was all that. It felt really weirdly paced although the finish was obviously quite the spectacle. Shame I think the feuds done, but nice way to close it.

im actually looking forward to watching the men’s Rumble later, even knowing the result. But there is no way I’ll ever be convince that Jay Uso winning the Rumble and main eventing WrestleMania is the right decision. I don’t care how many t-shirts he sells, or how many people yeet, he is a below average wrestler with a massively over gimmick who just had a stinker of a world title match a week ago, and ha/d one of the worst Mania matches in recent times a year ago. 

Jey is over like rover, He deserves it for that if nothing else. The match won't be great but he's over, Gunther will carry him to a decent match

[Devon Malcolm]

1 minute ago, Hannibal Scorch said:

Has there been a less deserving winner of a Royal Rumble?

Has everyone lost their minds this morning? You have seen the reactions he gets, haven't you? He might be mostly rubbish in the ring but Jey Uso has worked tirelessly for years to get to this point. Of course he deserves it. He's got massively over and has stayed so.

[SuperBacon]

9 minutes ago, Devon Malcolm said:

I'm an older fan and so is Bacon, we know who he is.

That's cos we're cool innit? Although my youngest did shudder when I said "ooooh was he wearing Yeezys?" and then didn't reply. -100 aura points or whatever.

[Hannibal Scorch]

1 minute ago, Mr_Danger said:

I did stop to ask my lady how old she thinks Charlotte Flair is, 58. Wrestlers age like warm milk. 

Did you not see Trish Stratus enter?

Just now, TheScarlettChad said:

Jey is over like rover, He deserves it for that if nothing else. The match won't be great but he's over, Gunther will carry him to a decent match

Well he didn’t 7 days ago.

[Devon Malcolm]

I need a bacon butty and some PowerWash Simulator, I'm going mad.

[Statto]

6 minutes ago, I Bent My Wookie said:

With Charlotte's win, does anyone else think as me and my mate did last night that it's a chance for her to come back to put over Stratton as the new heir to the throne at WrestleMania? I didn't realise until we looked it up, but at near 40 with a career threatening knee injury she's just returned from that has a habit of coming back for many people, it wouldn't be unexpected if this was her last stint as a full time performer if she was wanting to go down the route of having kids with Andrade and taking a more relaxed schedule after that. 

That thought crossed my mind as well - that was a big old brace on that knee, and her movement didn't seem entirely free to me. Obviously she's still a damn sight more athletic than me & it's only her first match back but there seemed a slight limp/hobble to me at times. 

Clearly she can still do stuff, but I'd be interested to see if she does a lot of rope running anymore. Not that you can't work around that for many years to come, of course. 

[Mr_Danger]

3 minutes ago, Hannibal Scorch said:

Did you not see Trish Stratus enter?

Well he didn’t 7 days ago.

Fair comment and the women definitely have a leg up on the fellas in this regard. I guess those Flair genes will get you even without the 50 year binge sessions.

[wordsfromlee]

1 minute ago, Mr_Danger said:

Fair comment and the women definitely have a leg up on the fellas in this regard. I guess those Flair genes will get you even without the 50 year binge sessions.

That, and all the awful plastic surgery she's had done.

I knew she was winning the rumble as soon as she came out as she was the only one who had pyro during her entrance.

[Hannibal Scorch]

4 minutes ago, Devon Malcolm said:

Has everyone lost their minds this morning? You have seen the reactions he gets, haven't you? He might be mostly rubbish in the ring but Jey Uso has worked tirelessly for years to get to this point. Of course he deserves it. He's got massively over and has stayed so.

 

Just now, Devon Malcolm said:

I need a bacon butty and some PowerWash Simulator, I'm going mad.

I think you are chief. Unless you’re finally ready to accept that Marvel Films are the gold standard in movies because they worked from the humble beginnings of Iron Man to become one of the biggest Box Office releases of all time with Avengers Endgame. Because they mostly maybe CGI extravaganzas, but they worked tirelessly to make those films more popular with the masses and stayed so.

[Devon Malcolm]

1 minute ago, Hannibal Scorch said:

I think you are chief. Unless you’re finally ready to accept that Marvel Films are the gold standard in movies because they worked from the humble beginnings of Iron Man to become one of the biggest Box Office releases of all time with Avengers Endgame. Because they mostly maybe CGI extravaganzas, but they worked tirelessly to make those films more popular with the masses and stayed so.

Oh god, I really hoped you weren't going to be daft enough to say this - and you were daft enough to say this. I'm just not gonna do this, I can't, I have to grow up one day.

3 minutes ago, wordsfromlee said:

That, and all the awful plastic surgery she's had done.

For fuck's sake.

[TheScarlettChad]

Jey Uso is like an MCU movie, not as good as others but there's something about him that keeps the crowds coming back for more

 

 

[Mr_Danger]

6 minutes ago, wordsfromlee said:

That, and all the awful plastic surgery she's had done.

I knew she was winning the rumble as soon as she came out as she was the only one who had pyro during her entrance.

If only the pervert was still around to pass on his surgeons details…

[wordsfromlee]

14 minutes ago, Devon Malcolm said:

For fuck's sake.

What have I said wrong now?

[TheScarlettChad]

Just now, wordsfromlee said:

What have I said wrong now?

I mean, did you need to bring up plastic surgery? its not really relevent.