Keith Houchen Posted March 28, 2023 Share Posted March 28, 2023 My dad used to affect a posh accent and declare “I am going to the library” and fold his newspaper under his arm before heading upstairs for a shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted March 28, 2023 Paid Members Share Posted March 28, 2023 My Dad always kept old issues of Viz magazine by the shitter. A+ reading material while on the throne. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Fatty Facesitter Posted March 28, 2023 Paid Members Share Posted March 28, 2023 I've got the VIZ Profanisaurus in our loo. A tour de force of anglo-saxon terminology. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Tommy! Posted March 28, 2023 Paid Members Share Posted March 28, 2023 (edited) 6 hours ago, Gus Mears said: My Dad always kept old issues of Viz magazine by the shitter. A+ reading material while on the throne. I do that, Viz & Private Eye. Edited March 28, 2023 by Tommy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Carbomb Posted March 28, 2023 Paid Members Share Posted March 28, 2023 3 hours ago, King Coconut said: It was a Danny (La Rue) in the Coconut house. COOOOCONUT HOOOUUUSE!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members air_raid Posted March 28, 2023 Paid Members Share Posted March 28, 2023 Potentially broad topic.... 3 pages about poo. So "on brand" it brings a tear to my eye. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted March 28, 2023 Paid Members Share Posted March 28, 2023 2 minutes ago, air_raid said: So "on brand" it brings a tear to my eye. Which eye? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Carbomb Posted March 28, 2023 Paid Members Share Posted March 28, 2023 6 minutes ago, Gus Mears said: Which eye? Depends how "tear" is pronounced Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Posted March 28, 2023 Share Posted March 28, 2023 19 hours ago, Lion_of_the_Midlands said: there was a single piss footprint in the middle of the room, not near the urinals, and when I say footprint I mean footprint, the toes were clearly outlined, just one and no other footprints in the room. Dragging us back to the topic, it's one of those things you see in public toilets that make you wonder what other people are doing. Like when you go into a cubicle and someone has completely destroyed the bowl with shit. I once saw one at an airport where they'd managed to spray faeces all the way up the walls to eye level. I mean, even with explosive shit they would have had to have been in a handstand or something. I know people tend to get tops off when they're drunk but to take your shoes off and THEN go for a piss... that really is odd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted March 28, 2023 Paid Members Share Posted March 28, 2023 1 minute ago, Loki said: I once saw one at an airport where they'd managed to spray faeces all the way up the walls to eye level. I mean, even with explosive shit they would have had to have been in a handstand or something. Clearly should have shoved his hand up his arse and got it out that way instead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Tommy! Posted March 28, 2023 Paid Members Share Posted March 28, 2023 (edited) They were wareing flip flops and ones slipped off. Edited March 28, 2023 by Tommy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butch2000 Posted March 28, 2023 Share Posted March 28, 2023 6 hours ago, waters44 said: “Strain the spuds” here in deepest Berkshire That’s chucking one out isn’t it? Not curling one out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Lion_of_the_Midlands Posted March 28, 2023 Author Paid Members Share Posted March 28, 2023 3 hours ago, Tommy! said: They were wareing flip flops and ones slipped off. There was one footprint and no others and it was more than one step to the door unless it was a giant, and I'm pretty sure I'd have noticed a flip flop wearing giant in the pub Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Jazzy G Posted March 29, 2023 Paid Members Share Posted March 29, 2023 (edited) On 3/28/2023 at 1:01 PM, Fatty Facesitter said: I've got the VIZ Profanisaurus in our loo. A tour de force of anglo-saxon terminology. The Profanisaurus is essential shitterature for when you're riding the porcelein bus to drop the kids off at the pool, especially if it's a bit of a life affirmer. Round our way we always used to say we were "going to see a man about a dog" or "draining the lizard". An honourable mention goes to "pointing Percy at the porcelein". Edited March 29, 2023 by jazzygeofferz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spud Posted March 29, 2023 Share Posted March 29, 2023 In polite company I always prefer to say “I’m going to empty my bottom.” I’m nothing but classy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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