More Questions Than Answers.

[Keith Houchen]

My dad used to affect a posh accent and declare “I am going to the library” and fold his newspaper under his arm before heading upstairs for a shit. 

[Gus Mears]

My Dad always kept old issues of Viz magazine by the shitter. A+ reading material while on the throne.

[Fatty Facesitter]

I've got the VIZ Profanisaurus in our loo. A tour de force of anglo-saxon terminology. 

[Tommy!]

6 hours ago, Gus Mears said:

My Dad always kept old issues of Viz magazine by the shitter. A+ reading material while on the throne.

I do that, Viz & Private Eye.

 

Edited March 28, 2023 by Tommy!

[Carbomb]

3 hours ago, King Coconut said:

It was a Danny (La Rue) in the Coconut house.

COOOOCONUT HOOOUUUSE!!!

[air_raid]

Potentially broad topic.... 3 pages about poo.

So "on brand" it brings a tear to my eye.

[Gus Mears]

2 minutes ago, air_raid said:

So "on brand" it brings a tear to my eye.

Which eye?

[Carbomb]

6 minutes ago, Gus Mears said:

Which eye?

Depends how "tear" is pronounced

[Loki]

19 hours ago, Lion_of_the_Midlands said:

there was a single piss footprint in the middle of the room, not near the urinals, and when I say footprint I mean footprint, the toes were clearly outlined, just one and no other footprints in the room. 

Dragging us back to the topic, it's one of those things you see in public toilets that make you wonder what other people are doing.  Like when you go into a cubicle and someone has completely destroyed the bowl with shit.  I once saw one at an airport where they'd managed to spray faeces all the way up the walls to eye level.  I mean, even with explosive shit they would have had to have been in a handstand or something.

I know people tend to get tops off when they're drunk but to take your shoes off and THEN go for a piss... that really is odd.

[Gus Mears]

1 minute ago, Loki said:

 I once saw one at an airport where they'd managed to spray faeces all the way up the walls to eye level.  I mean, even with explosive shit they would have had to have been in a handstand or something.

Clearly should have shoved his hand up his arse and got it out that way instead.

[Tommy!]

They were wareing flip flops and ones slipped off.

Edited March 28, 2023 by Tommy!

[Butch2000]

6 hours ago, waters44 said:

“Strain the spuds” here in deepest Berkshire 

That’s chucking one out isn’t it? Not curling one out.

[Lion_of_the_Midlands]

3 hours ago, Tommy! said:

They were wareing flip flops and ones slipped off.

There was one footprint and no others and it was more than one step to the door unless it was a giant, and I'm pretty sure I'd have noticed a flip flop wearing giant in the pub 

[Jazzy G]

On 3/28/2023 at 1:01 PM, Fatty Facesitter said:

I've got the VIZ Profanisaurus in our loo. A tour de force of anglo-saxon terminology. 

The Profanisaurus is essential shitterature for when you're riding the porcelein bus to drop the kids off at the pool, especially if it's a bit of a life affirmer. 

Round our way we always used to say we were "going to see a man about a dog" or "draining the lizard". An honourable mention goes to "pointing Percy at the porcelein". 

Edited March 29, 2023 by jazzygeofferz

[Spud]

In polite company I always prefer to say “I’m going to empty my bottom.” I’m nothing but classy.