Post of the Year 2023

[SuperBacon]

10 minutes ago, Glenryck Pilchards said:

I finally got time to try the fabled battered donner butty at the Silver Cod on Saturday. I headed into Norton near Middlesbrough, which is only famous for casting the original Big Ben bell and did such a shit job with it that it cracked within weeks of installation at Parliament. En route to the third-best chippy in Norton (there are four), the heavens opened with an almighty thunderstorm and I wondered if this was the food gods warning me not to get this delicacy. 

 

I waited for the rain to ease and one of the counter staff sneaked out for a tab before I braved the weather and headed inside the chippy. The same member of staff asked what I would like and I asked for the battered donner butty. A wry smile came on her face and she grabbed a pre-margarined fadgie, loaded the bun with donner meat, and squirted garlic sauce on top before handing it over to the fry master. 

The fry master worked their magic covering the bun in batter and dipped it into the fryer for over five minutes. He brought the monstrosity to the counter and cut the butty in half, allowing the steam to escape violently like Mount Etna. the counter staff then wrapped it in four layers of paper. I took the food and headed to Norton Green, mainly because there was a defibrillator located there, but also it was the fabled site where I separated a fight between my dog Murray and an owl who were scrapping over a discarded kebab which felt apt.  I removed the first layer of paper and immediately I thought I was going to be in trouble. 

 

The grease that accumulated on the paper already left me in shock, and I carefully unwrapped the rest of the ticking time bomb. I unsheathed the bastard and look at the size of the thing! I did not have a trusty UKFF fork with me, so I put a biro next to it for scale. 

 

 

And here is the cross-section of this mighty beast. 

 

 

On closer inspection, they added some chips to the bun, which I was guessing to regulate the heat for this big ball of cholesterol. I took my first bite and the immediate taste was grease. I did not pick up any spice from the donner meat or any tang from the garlic sauce. Parts of the donner meat escaped in the frying process and it was like a weird pork scratching/beef jerky hybrid which was one of the few highlights of this meal. 

I struggled through the first half and regretted not picking up a drink from the chippy as a cream soda or a shandy Bass would have been a much-needed palate cleanser. I grabbed the second half and I finally picked up some taste of the garlic mayo, but only in slight pockets of the myriad of lard. I managed three-quarters of the second half and I had to concede defeat. 

In summary, this was fucking awful and I would not recommend it. I felt lousy for the following 24 hours and once it worked its way through my system..... well, lets leave that for the shitting thread for another time. 

Tremendous work from Mr Pilchards. He will die so we don't have to.

[Keith Houchen]

It’s probably an AEW Spoiler so I won’t link it, but on page 5 on the latest PPV thread, @The Curious Orange has unleashed a worldie 

[SuperBacon]

10 minutes ago, CavemanLynn said:

The Expendables franchise lost me early doors when they booked Stallone (ie Rocky, renowned for boxing) and Jean Claude Van Damme (ie all the kickboxing, all the time) in a knife fight. At that point, I knew the whole thing was the mates wanking over their own self images instead of having fun with their combined on-screen personas and satisfying all those "who'd win in a fight between" playground debates. I don't care who'd win in a fight between Oscar-baiting muscleman Stallone vs smug cigar-chomping politico Schwarzenegger; show me unhinged black ops huntsman Rambo vs an unstoppable shotgun toting killing machine. Not once did Lundgren wield a medieval war sword. Not once did the Stath end up shirtless and covered in oil. Just a bunch of blokes in identical Boss Man fatigues standing there shooting stuff. Zero stars.

Excellently succinct breakdown of those utterly shit films.

Edited October 6, 2023 by SuperBacon

[Gus Mears]

3 hours ago, herbie747 said:

Why does Gauntley even want to be a promoter? He's shit at it and it's ruined his life. I'd understand if he was trying to go back and relive past successes but he was never a success at it. He lost everything the first time around. 

The guy had a successful business with 1UP Games before he started 1PW and since then it's just been a nightmare. Why go back 15 years to that stage of your life just to repeat it all again? The lies, the non-payments, the excuses, avoiding people, the "payment plans" to pay wrestlers, the tax issues, company director issues & these recurring transfers of ownerships, the bankruptcy, solicitor fees, personal insolvency, embarrassing yourself publically, people laughing at you, not to mention the constant stress it must be on him - that can't be healthy.

The wrestling industry has changed drastically since he was last involved in 2006/2007 - and he wasn't even good at it back then. Just knock it on the head, man. 

Herbie striking at the heart of the Tragedy of Gauntley here. The opening sentence made me cackle.

[SuperBacon]

On 10/8/2023 at 11:54 PM, wandshogun09 said:

Back in NYC. Back at MSG. 

PPV MAIN CARD
Jon Jones©️vs Stipe Miocic - Heavyweight Title

Jiri Prochazka vs Alex Pereira - Vacant Light Heavyweight Title 

Jessica Andrade vs Mackenzie Dern 

Matt Schnell vs Stephen Erceg 

Tabatha Ricci vs Loopy Godinez 

ESPN PRELIMS 
Matt Frevola vs Benoit Saint-Denis 

Pat Sabatini vs Diego Lopes 

Jared Gordon vs Mark Madsen 

Jamall Emmers vs Dennis Buzukja 

ESPN+/FIGHT PASS PRELIMS 
Kyung Ho Kang vs John Castaneda 

Mateusz Rebecki vs Nurullo Aliev 

Nazim Sadykhov vs Viacheslav Borshchev 

Joshua Van vs Kevin Borjas 

 

First off, don’t worry about the bout order. Pay it no mind. The running order hasn’t been made official yet and I doubt it’ll stay this way. This is just how Marcel Dorff has it at the moment but I’ll edit as and when. What a card though. It’s not one of those cards that’s stacked from top to bottom but that main and co-main is insane. And there’s just enough on the undercard to give it some depth as well. Plenty to like about this card. Apologies in advance, this is gonna be a long scroll…

 

 

Jon Jones vs Stipe Miocic then. For all the marbles. The big one. Although not as big as it would’ve been if it happened 3 or 4 years ago when it should’ve. This fight in 2018-20 would’ve been absolutely fucking mega, wouldn’t it? Not that it’s not still a big fight now but that’s when it would’ve meant the most. I hate to be negative about this fight because I’m still up for it and I’m still glad it’s happening. But there’s just an overall feeling that this is just a case of both guys cashing out. I’m fully expecting both to retire after this so it’s not even leading anywhere after, the next generation aren’t gonna get the opportunity to get ‘the rub’ and whoever wins this fight is most likely just gonna vacate the belt and the next champ is gonna suffer from not taking the title from the previous champ. They’ll be ‘the man’, but they won’t have beat ‘the man’. Oh well. Let’s just enjoy the ride.

Heavyweight Jon Jones finally made his debut back in March. After 3 years on the sidelines and after about a decade of teasing a move up to Heavyweight. Seriously. If you wanna do the digging, the articles are out there. The man was talking about moving up back when Cain Velasquez was champion, for fuck’s sake! Think about how long ago the Cain era feels and all the shit that’s happened between then and now. That’s how long Jones dragged this bollocks out. All credit due to him. For all his faults, and there are many as we know, he was a great Light Heavyweight champion. He ruled over that 205 division for almost a full decade. The most dominant champ in the division’s history by far. Beat the likes of Shogun, Rampage, Machida, Evans, Teixeira, Gustafsson, Cormier along the way. But before his 3 year sabbatical started in 2020, it was looking like he was slowing down and the prime was coming to an end. A comfortable but lacklustre points win over Anthony Smith followed by a couple of surprisingly close decisions over Thiago Santos and Dominick Reyes had people wondering if his reign was on its last legs. The fact that Santos and Reyes declined rapidly following those fights means those performances from Jones aged even worse as well. A combination of Jones now being in his 30s, talk of him becoming complacent and disinterested at 205 and, of course, his chaotic and turbulent lifestyle outside the cage was all starting to suggest the wheels were about to come off his run on top.

Then he fucked off. For years. He was always tweeting and deleting. Always throwing his two penneth in on what was going on in the MMA world. Always teasing fights and talking a big game about comebacks and how he was bulking up for his long awaited move to Heavyweight. But after a while, I think everyone just stopped believing him. It had gone on for so long he became the boy who cried wolf. In the meantime the UFC had moved on without him.

Francis Ngannou was now King of the Heavyweight castle. He’d knocked out Stipe Miocic in their rematch at UFC 260 in March 2021. A hugely impressive performance, especially given how one-sided the first fight was in Stipe’s favour. Ngannou had clearly worked his arse off and made the necessary adjustments since 2018 and it paid off big for him. Ngannou then became tangled up in a dispute behind the scenes with Dana White/UFC management over his contract, fighter pay and conditions. He wound up defending the belt the following January against Ciryl Gane, came in with an injured knee and won on points. From there he sat out the rest of 2022, still at odds with UFC brass, and his contract expired at the end of the year. In January it was announced that Ngannou and the UFC were unable to come to terms, they’d parted ways and Ngannou had been stripped of the UFC title. The very same day…

This got announced. After 3 years on the shelf, Jon Jones would finally return, at Heavyweight, and face Ciryl Gane for the vacant belt. Of course, Dana spun it as Ngannou shitting himself of Jones and running but Jones was the one who stayed away for 3 years then suddenly resurfaced the second Ngannou was no longer under contract. Very convenient. Jones was also accusing Ngannou of ducking him, calling him a “pussy” and all that. But during his 3 years off, he’d been at loggerheads with the UFC himself over the same issues Ngannou had. And again, if anyone was ducking anyone, check the date on this tweet from Jones…

Quack quack 🦆 

That was literally 2 DAYS after Ngannou ironed out Stipe to become Heavyweight champ. Not saying Jones was terrified but the timing of it is funny. He suddenly got into a contract dispute with the UFC just 48 hours after Big Francis got the strap. Yet Ngannou’s a bitch if you listen to Jones, Dana or the legions of UFC arselickers on social media. Anyway, yeah, Jones finally got back in the Octagon at UFC 285 in March. Going in I really had doubts about Jones’ return. 1) I was sceptical he’d even make it to fight night just because he’s Jon Jones and a habitual fuck up. 2) He hadn’t looked good in his last couple of fights at 205. 3) Those fights were 3 years ago so he might be rusty. 4) He was going up in weight after such a layoff and didn’t exactly look in the best of physical shape. And 5) I honestly thought Gane could pose a lot of problems for him style-wise. Granted, the grappling was always gonna be a big gaping hole but I really thought that Gane could mostly keep it on the feet and give Jones hell. As long as he didn’t do anything stupid or reckless. Well…

Gane fucked up big time. Looking back I kind of feel foolish for picking Gane but there were so many questions and unknowns about Jones coming off that layoff and going up in weight. He was always gonna have a massive advantage if he could grab hold of Gane and force any kind of grappling situation. But Gane just made it so much easier for him but lunging wildly at him with no setup. And Jones just ducked his punch, snatched the neck and throttled him. Whole thing lasted about 2 minutes and, frankly, as much as I find Gane likeable it was embarrassing from him. Not that there’s shame in losing to Jon Jones but the way it happened, he basically served his neck up on a plate.

You couldn’t move for the silly GOAT talk after the fight. Everywhere I looked, I kept seeing opinion pieces about how this proved Jones was the GOAT and there wasn’t even a debate to be had anymore. Absolute bullshit. He is great. I can’t stand the prick but I’ll never deny he’s one of the best ever. But to act like there’s no discussion now when the likes of Georges St Pierre and Demetrious Johnson exist is just ridiculous. And those guys don’t have PED controversies staining their legacies either. People throw the ‘GOAT’ thing around way too loosely these days. Also find it funny how all the talk after Jones vs Gane was basically 50% ‘Gane is terrible’ and 50% ‘Jones is the GOAT’. If Gane’s so shite then why did this win cement beyond a shadow of a doubt that Jones is the best to ever do it? Surely if Gane is so shite then this win isn’t even that impressive. Which is it? Like I said, he’s undoubtedly one of the best ever. But the best? Nah. Not having it. If he’d moved up when he first said he would and beat Cain, beat prime Stipe and beat Ngannou then, yeah, he’d be a lock. But he didn’t, did he? He went life and death with Santos and Reyes at 205, sat out for years, waited for Stipe to get old, waited for Ngannou to leave, then came back and choked a Kickboxer with weak grappling. If that’s your GOAT that’s up to you. But to quote the real GOAT, “I’m not impressed with his performance”.

In the meantime, Ngannou signed with the PFL and him and Jones actually came face to face at a PFL show in June…

Sadly, I suspect that’s as close as we’re ever getting to that fight happening 😥 A fucking travesty but what can you do? Ngannou did what was right for him. People can say he ducked this and that but it’s easy to say that now. Back in December when his contract expired, there was no sign of Stipe returning to do the rubber match and Jones seemed no closer to returning than he did the previous 3 years. There wasn’t much for Ngannou to hang around for anyway and that’s before you even factor in his issues with Dana and co behind the scenes. He got out, got a deal he was happy with in PFL and even negotiated higher purses for his future opponents. What a lad! Who does that? While Dana bootlickers were laughing, taking the piss and claiming Francis “fumbled the bag”, Ngannou was inking the biggest fight and payday of his life…

He’s fighting Tyson Fury in Saudi Arabia on October 28th. So by the time this card goes down, Fury vs Ngannou will be in the history books. Ngannou will have already received his beating and the big fat cheque to go with it. He’s not gonna win. We all know that. But I love that he’s got the fight. Boxing was his first love and to get to share the ring with probably the best Heavyweight of this generation, on such a big stage, must be a dream come true for the big man. A proper bucket list thing. If you know Ngannou’s story and where he came from, you’d have to be a heartless cunt to not feel happy for him. It’s the stuff of Hollywood. About as rags to riches as it gets.

But 2 weeks later in the UFC, Jones heads to Madison Square Garden to face this bastard…

Stipe Miocic is back!

For my money, Stipe’s probably the Heavyweight GOAT. It’s either him or Fedor. It’s easy to forget because he’s been off the grid for a couple of years but I don’t think anyone’s got quite as strong a resume as Stipe in the history of the division. Wins over Daniel Cormier x2, Francis Ngannou, Junior Dos Santos, Alistair Overeem, Fabricio Werdum, Andrei Arlovski, Mark Hunt, Gabriel Gonzaga, Roy Nelson etc. He had those losses to Cormier and JDS but avenged both. The only real glaring blemish is the KO loss to Stefan Struve back in 2012. That looks ludicrous now knowing what Stipe would go on to do. What a run he had though. I don’t think any of those wins quite equal Fedor’s dominant wins over prime Nogueira and Cro Cop but Stipe had a series of quality wins there that’s gonna be hard to beat. Fedor’s my man but I might actually lean towards Stipe as the best Heavyweight ever. It’s close. Regardless, Stipe was a hell of a champion. He’s been on a milk carton since that Ngannou loss in 2021 though. And now he’s 41 years old. I don’t know. I just don’t know what we’re getting here. I honestly think Stipe was pretty much content to call it a day before Jones came back. He hadn’t publicly announced his retirement or made anything official but he seemed in no hurry to make a comeback and, at 41, I just don’t think he’d have fancied it. His legacy is set, Ngannou was leaving, he’d hit 40, and I don’t think he’d have been arsed about hanging around to fight the next generation of HWs like Aspinall, Pavlovich and so on. But Jones’ return opened up the door for one last big fight for him. One last big payday. Something worth returning for.

Stipe was in attendance when Jones came back and beat Gane in March. Jones called him out after and, as you can see from Stipe’s face there, he couldn’t have looked less fussed about it 🤣 nothing phases him. I’ve got no doubt he’ll be motivated and he’ll train hard for this fight. He’s a pro and it’s a legacy fight. While little seems to bother Stipe, he obviously won’t have been happy with how that last Ngannou fight ended. It wasn’t the note he’d have wanted to end his career on. A win over Jon Jones here, and regaining the title in the process, would be some way to finish up.

“This fight means everything. I think this is what it’s all about. It’s what the fans wanted to see. It’s a fight he wanted, a fight I wanted. Two of the best going at it, nothing gets better than that.”

“I think my speed, my angles and my punching power will give him problems. I hit a lot harder than people think. I think I have a great IQ. I always change it up and when something happens, I’ll figure a way out. I feel strong, I feel good. You get some bumps and bruises along the way but it’s training camp. Honestly, I feel great. My head’s right where I need to be.” - Stipe Miocic

Saying all the right things but I just don’t know. It feels like a case of too little, too late. I’m about 95% sure they’re both retiring after this one. So it does make you wonder if Stipe’s coming back solely for the payday. For what it’s worth, Jones has been training with Gordon Ryan recently and is predicting a first round submission. Could be just mind games to throw Stipe off the scent but I wouldn’t be surprised if he tries to go more the grappling route here. Regardless, Gordon Ryan posted this, which seems to confirm this will be Jones’ last fight as well.

There’s been speculation that he’d be fucking off after this for a while. He’d been quoted recently as basically admitting he’s not interested in sticking around and facing the up and coming Heavyweights after this. And now the way Ryan’s worded that post makes it seem like it’s definite that this is it.

As for the fight itself, there’s a reason Jones waited so long and now he’s suddenly up for it. Stipe’s coming off a KO loss, a 2 year layoff and he’s 41 years old. You can see why Jones has chosen now to seize his opportunity. I’d love nothing more than for it to blow up in his face spectacularly and Stipe chins him. But I just don’t know what to expect. Out of either of them really. Everywhere I read online, the consensus seems to be that Stipe’s washed up and Jones is just gonna steamroll him. But while I can see why people might think that, we never got to see enough of Jones in his comeback either for me to have massive confidence in him. It lasted 2 minutes and Gane made a huge mistake that Jones was able to capitalise on. He faced no resistance, was put under no pressure, we never saw his chin tested at Heavyweight, we never saw his conditioning tested, there was really nothing to get a read on. The questions we had about Heavyweight Jones going into that Gane fight are the same questions we still have now. None of them were answered.

And who’s to say Stipe is shot? Yeah, he’s 41 and coming off a long stretch on the bench. I’m under no illusions, he’s not gonna be as sharp as he was in his prime here. I get it. But it was one bad loss and it was against an absolute beast in Ngannou. I remember in the immediate aftermath of that fight, a lot of people were looking forward to the trilogy decider and I don’t remember people writing off Stipe’s chances of coming back and going 2-1. No-one was saying he was finished back then. So layoff aside, who knows? It’s a complete mystery. I don’t know what he’s been doing in his time away. If he’s kept himself in good nick and kept a foot in the gym, he could very well surprise people. At the very least, he’s surely gonna put up a better fight than Gane did, isn’t he? And that’s where it gets interesting. I’m still not convinced Jones is ‘back’ based on the 2 easy minutes against Gane. I didn’t see enough to be as confident as most MMA fans seem to be. So if old Stipe can push him a bit, make it ugly, rough him up and tag him, we’ll see how Jones responds to that. It’s interesting in its own way but Jones vs Miocic in 2023 is interesting for completely different reasons than Jones vs Miocic in, say, 2019 would’ve been. It’s not got the same buzz. But look at this post, I’ve still wrote a fucking book on it so there’s plenty of talking points.

So yeah. This is most likely the last time we’ll be seeing either of these two step foot in the Octagon. I know you never say never in combat sports. If the right fight comes along, for the right money, as Millionaire Ted said “everyone’s got a price”. But unless there’s a loophole where Francis Ngannou can somehow come back to the UFC, I don’t see another fight that will bring either of these two back in there again. I’ve been saying for a while, I think whatever happens here, we’ll go into 2024 with the Heavyweight title vacant and I expect we’ll see Tom Aspinall and Sergei Pavlovich battle it out to crown a new champ in the first half of next year. But this is proper end of an era stuff. Their title reigns at Heavyweight and Light Heavyweight respectively kind of ran parallel. When Stipe was finishing JDS and Reem, Jones was stopping Gus and DC. They were at the peak of their powers at about the same time but in different weight classes. So it’s a shame that when they’re finally meeting, it’s a few years past that. But better late than never. I’d rather it happen now than not at all.

 

Jiri Prochazka vs Alex Pereira is a hell of a co-main. If the matchmakers had contacted me personally (why would they?) and asked me who these guys should fight next, this is the fight I’d have chosen. It’s one of those matchups where you just can’t picture anything other than pure chaos and violence. It feels like the only two ways this can go is either a quick and brutal knockout, or it’s an all-out war until someone drops. It’s sad to say but this is pretty much the only fight you can make in the Light Heavyweight division that I’m genuinely buzzing for. Considering 205 used to be seen as the glamour division where the biggest fights happened, it’s a bit depressing to see how far things have plummeted. Gone are the days of Chuck Liddell, Tito Ortiz, Randy Couture, Wanderlei Silva, Rampage Jackson, Shogun Rua and so on. LHW has been a total shitshow for some time now, and the title picture has been one big fat clusterfuck for about 18 months. Try to follow this shite…

The title had been a hot potato ever since Jon Jones relinquished the thing back in 2020. In September that year, Jan Blachowicz knocked out Dominick Reyes to win the vacant strap and become the new champ. After one defence against Israel Adesanya, Blachowicz got subbed by Glover Teixeira in Abu Dhabi and lost the belt. From there, Glover lost the title in his first defence against Jiri Prochazka at UFC 275 in Singapore…

This is where it really started getting messy. Jiri vs Glover was a classic. My FOTY last year. A crazy, back and forth war full of twists and turns and drama. I haven’t watched it back but I remember thinking Glover was well on his way to winning the decision, then Jiri pulled out the sub deep into the 5th round. Wild end to a tremendous fight and, while no-one was sure how long it would last, I think everyone was looking forward to seeing what a Jiri Prochazka title run would look like. The fight with Glover was so good that they booked the immediate rematch for UFC 282 in December. They had a tough act to follow and I doubt they could’ve topped that nutty first fight but, still, there wasn’t a better fight to make at that time than the rematch. I don’t remember much complaining about the booking anyway. Then it happened…

Jiri suffered a shoulder injury and, not only had to pull out of the rematch with Glover, the injury was thought so severe and the layoff was expected to be so long that Jiri opted to just vacate the title.

“This is the worst shoulder injury the doctors have seen in UFC history. It’s really fucking bad. His shoulder is very, very bad. He’s going to have serious surgery which will require extensive rehab.” - Dana White

With the UFC short on options and scrambling, and Glover refusing to face a short notice replacement, the matchmakers went with Jan Blachowicz vs Magomed Ankalaev as the new battle to crown a champion.

Quite a comedown but they didn’t have a whole lot of choices. To say the reception for Jan vs Ank was lukewarm at best is an understatement. No-one really gave a bollocks. Especially as a PPV main event. And it didn’t help that the fight turned out to be a bit of a dud on the night. I mean, it wasn’t terrible but it wasn’t much good either. And to top it off, the fight ended in a draw.

So the whole point of the main event, to crown a new champ, went up in smoke. The night ended and we still had no Light Heavyweight champion!

So you’d think they’d just book the rematch, right? Wrong. Apparently Dana hated the fight so much that he decided to shun these two and book a completely new fight to crown a new champion. At the following month’s PPV, UFC 283 in Brazil in January, it would be Glover Teixeira vs Jamahal Hill.

Jamahal Hill won a clear decision. Glover retired after. At 43 years old, it wasn’t a surprise. Hill put a beating on Glover and the judges scored it 50-44 across the board. So no controversy this time. No draw. We finally had a champion! I said it at the time and I’ll say it again, this just felt a bit weird to me. Credit where it’s due, Hill did what he had to do and it was a strong performance. But it felt like Hill had been very fortunate and benefited from circumstances more than anything. Glover seemed to have one foot out the door coming in and it was only for the fact Jiri got injured, Blachowicz vs Ankalaev ended in a draw and that Dana hated the fight that Hill even got the shot. But whatever. He jumped on the opportunity and made it count. Finally, the Light Heavyweight division had a champ again. But not for long…

You couldn’t fucking script it. It seemed like all signs were pointing towards Hill vs a returning Jiri and we’d finally clear up the mess of who the actual, legitimate champion at 205 was. Then that happened. Just seems like Jones put a curse on the division when he left. It wasn’t all doom and gloom in July though. One bright spot for 205 came in the form of Alex Pereira moving up to LHW.

The life and soul there. Loving life. Of course, his run at Middleweight and history with Israel Adesanya is a story that’s been talked about to death. No need to go over old ground. But when Izzy finally got that elusive win over him at UFC 287 in April, it was just a matter of time until Pereira moved up. Especially because Adesanya weirdly shut down any talk of a rematch. There was nothing for Pereira to stay at 185 for. He’d already won the belt, he’d traded wins and losses with Izzy and, honestly, I don’t know how in the fuck he made 185 as long as he did anyway. That weight cut must’ve been a bastard. Pereira’s huge. So I was happy to see him make the move to 205. Much healthier for him and, at 36, the weight cut is only gonna get harder. Sack it off. He had a successful 205 debut in July, beating Jan Blachowicz on points in a decent but not spectacular performance. It wasn’t a great fight but there were positive signs there if you’re a Pereira fan. He looked strong and durable at 205 and he was in with a big tough, lump. Didn’t get the finish but a win’s a win. The phrase ‘styles make fights’ is done to death but I think it fits here. Jan was never gonna be an easy matchup for Pereira to shine in but with the right opponent…

And he’s back!

Jiri Prochazka makes his long awaited Octagon return after nearly 18 months out. Hopefully the injury hasn’t fucked him up too much. You just never know though, especially with something like a shoulder injury. I know it’s not the same thing but my brother fucked his shoulder up in his teens, had surgery but it’s never been the same again. Obviously he’s not a pro fighter but he’s in a physical job and has had issues over the years. So I can only imagine the toll training camps and fighting will have on an injury like that. You know he’s gonna be up for it mentally though. He’s a unique character and seems to be wired a bit different, even by mad bastard pro fighter standards. He’ll go for it. And you know Pereira’s gonna be right there with him.

Fuck knows what happens here. Hopefully we get a champion out of it at least! Feels like they’re just gonna collide and they’re both so dangerous that anything can happen. Really could just be a case of whoever lands first. It’s not like either are defensive marvels either. That combination of both of them being lethal on the offence and a bit vulnerable on the defence is a recipe for a real edge of the seat battle. Can’t wait for this. They could’ve easily headlined a PPV with this and I can honestly say I’m more excited about this fight than the main event. Not a clue how it plays out but I can’t wait to find out. My first thought was to lean towards Pereira cracking him and closing the show. The fact that Jiri can get reckless and routinely puts himself in harm’s way to land his own shit, I can just picture Pereira catching him coming in with that horrible left hook. But Pereira’s got a habit of getting clipped himself, doesn’t really move his head and Jiri’s awkwardness could well throw him off. Probably slightly favouring Pereira but I’m about 50/50 on this. Genuinely one of my most anticipated fights of the year!

 

Jessica Andrade vs Mackenzie Dern is a solid fight in the Strawweight division. Don’t really know what to expect but I don’t think the ingredients are there for a bad fight. Andrade’s never boring and Dern has been quite entertaining to watch herself in recent fights. Tough matchup for Andrade because she’s in a right slump at the moment. Probably could’ve done with a couple of steps back and an easier fight but I wouldn’t be surprised if she asked for this. She’s game as fuck and doesn’t seem the type to want easier fights. I think it would’ve been wise here though. She’s coming off 3 straight losses now, and was finished in all of them. Erin Blanchfield submitted her in February, Yan Xiaonan knocked her out in 2 minutes in May, then Tatiana Suarez subbed her in August. It’s been a rough year for her. She’s been a favourite of mine for years. Never a dull moment, fights her arse off, former champ etc. But she’s got some work to do to claw things back now. Dern could be catching her at just the right time…

She beat Angela Hill on points in their Apex headliner back in May. I remember it being a much more enjoyable fight to watch than I expected going in and also recall thinking it was probably Dern’s overall best performance yet in the UFC. Everyone knows Dern is gonna have the grappling advantage over pretty much anyone she faces but she beat Hill up on the feet as well, which was a bit of a surprise. Can’t read too much into it because Hill isn’t amazing and she’s probably on the way out now. But it was good stuff from Dern. You know the score as well. Don’t be surprised if Dern gets fast tracked into the title picture with a win here. You know the higher ups at UFC HQ want her in the mix. And I can’t deny, I can see the appeal of her as a challenger for Zhang Weili down the line. Fun matchups to make but she’s gotta get past Andrade here. On recent form, I suspect she will but we’ll see.

 

Matt Schnell vs Stephen Erceg might be decent. Can’t really go far wrong with the Flyweights and Schnell’s usually in entertaining fights. He’s had an up and down run of results recently, 16-7-0-1 overall, 1-2-0-1 in his last 4. He got knocked out by Matheus Nicolau in his last fight in December so he’s had a bit of a break and is trying to rebound here. His fight before that though, was his batshit scrap against Su Mudaerji last July…

Legitimately one of my favourite fights of 2022. It didn’t get brought up much in the FOTY talk and it wasn’t the best fight of the year. But it was one of them for sure. If you missed it, get it watched. Schnell got the win, choking Mudaerji unconscious and leaving him in a pool of his own blood. He had to walk through fire to get that W though. Shame he lost his next fight and wasn’t able to build on that momentum. Not too familiar with Erceg. He made his UFC debut in June, beating David Dvorak by decision on short notice. I vaguely remember him looking good. He’s Australian, 28 years old, 10-1 with 7 finishes and basically looks like Kenny Florian and Ryan Hall somehow had a kid together.

 

Tabatha Ricci vs Loopy Godinez should be fun. Neither are gonna trouble the title picture but I like this matchup a lot actually. Ricci is Brazilian, 28 years old, has a 9-1 record and is currently on a 4 fight win streak. The only loss was against Manon Fiorot in a fight Ricci took on short notice and was stupidly outsized in. She comes into this fight off a points win over Gillian Robertson in June. As for Loopy, she’s Mexican, 30 years old and 11-3…

She battered and submitted Elise Reed in a POTN winning showing on the Mexican Independence Day card in September. She looked like a monster but she’s so inconsistent you just never know how she’s gonna look from one fight to the next. This was definitely one of her better performances but then again Reed isn’t much cop. I like Loopy though. Hoping she can start stringing the wins together and finally start building some proper momentum now.

 

Matt Frevola vs Benoit Saint-Denis is ***WAND’S ONE TO WATCH*** on this bad boy. It’s not my favourite fight on the card but I’ve bummed Jiri-Pereira enough and I wanted to highlight this. Even on a card like this, it’s a fight that stands out to me. If you’ve been watching these two recently you know why I’m shining the spotlight on this fight. Should be a killer fight. And the crowd is gonna be mega hot for it with Frevola being a New Yorker. Be interesting to see how Saint-Denis handles what I expect to be a hostile crowd here actually. Coming off the massive support he got in Paris last time, this’ll be a complete role reversal for him facing Frevola in New York. An ‘away game’, if you will.

Julio Cesar Frevola! 🥊 

I’ve became a big fan of the ‘Steamrolla’ over the years. He’s a Serra-Longo fighter with a record of 11-3-1 with 7 of his wins coming inside the distance. He actually fought on DWCS way back in 2017 but I don’t remember him getting on my radar until he fought Lando Vannata in a corker in the UFC later. He hit a rough patch a couple of years ago when he lost to Arman Tsarukyan (in what I recall being another belter) and then got sparked by Terrance McKinney in 7 bastard seconds! It sounds mad but I honestly think the UFC gave up on him after that and were trying to get rid of him. The fact that, coming off a 7 second KO loss, they then immediately matched him up with Genaro Valdez who at the time was 10-0 with 10 finishes, tells you all you need to know. Frevola wasn’t having it though. Him and Valdez had a bonkers 3 minute shootout and Frevola chinned him. He followed that up by decking another dangerous KO artist in a round in Ottman Azaitar. Then in his last fight…

He knocked out Drew Dober, again in a round, at UFC 288 in May. It was as fun as a Frevola vs Dober fight sounds on paper. Fantastic stuff. Dober has a fucking paving slab of a jaw on him as well, so for Frevola to stop him was a big statement. What a career turnaround. To go from getting walloped in 7 seconds to coming back and scoring 3 straight first round KOs is nuts. It’s been great to see. He’s got another tough fight ahead of him here though…

Benoit Saint-Denis has really emerged over the last year or so as a really exciting fighter and also a guy worth keeping an eye on as an up and comer in the Lightweight division. He came into the UFC undefeated a couple of years ago but got battered by Elizeu Zaleski Dos Santos in his debut and I think a lot of people kind of wrote him off after that. It was a bad beating, to the point the referee actually got pulled from his duties the rest of the night for not stopping it. Saint-Denis has bounced back big time though. He’s gone 4-0 with 4 finishes since then. He’s really shone on the two Paris cards so far. The support of the French crowds seemed to bring something extra out of him and he’s fought like a man possessed on both. He completely derailed the hype train of Ismael Bonfim in July, battering and submitting him in a round. Then on September’s Paris show he crushed Thiago Moises and got the TKO. Got a really good feeling about this. Going off the last few performances from Saint-Denis and the run Frevola’s currently on, this should be a real banger.

 

Pat Sabatini vs Diego Lopes is a must watch just for Lopes. In just 2 fights in the UFC, he’s already a ‘can’t miss’ fighter for me. Sabatini’s a tricky test on paper though. He’s not always the most exciting fighter to watch but he’s effective and he’s not an easy guy to beat. He’s 18-4 with 13 finishes and, besides the surprising quick loss to Damon Jackson last year, he’s won 7 of his last 8 fights. He’s coming into this fight off a submission win over Lucas Almeida in June. Like I said though, Lopes is your reason to tune in for this one.

He’s 28 years old and has a record of 22-6 with 20 of his wins being finishes. He made his UFC debut in May, jumping in on short notice against undefeated Movsar Evloev. He lost a decision but instantly won over a lot of fans. First of all, the balls on him even taking that fight on late notice! Evloev’s a hard enough fight with a full camp, to go in without full prep just shows how much Lopes believes in himself. And Evloev is a real good fighter but not necessarily known for being in entertaining fights just because he usually just dominates his opponents and grinds out wins. But Lopes went out there and dragged an incredible fight out of him. It was about as good a performance as you can have in defeat. He really made Evloev earn the win and was constantly threatening from all angles. He came back after a full camp in August and made short work of Gavin Tucker, armbarring him in about 90 seconds. Looking forward to seeing him back in there.

 

Jared Gordon vs Mark Madsen is whatever. Not a bad fight but I’m not really feeling it. Nice to see Gordon get to fight in his backyard NYC though. Even nearly a year later, I can’t help but feel bad for him after he got blatantly robbed against Paddy Pimblett. Even despite it officially going down as a loss, he got more fan support following that than he’s ever had at any other point in his career. But he hasn’t been able to capitalise on it. His fight with Bobby Green in April ended on a clash of heads and he had some concussion issues after that which stopped him fighting for a bit. Hopefully he’s OK now. Can’t play around with that shit. I’d like to see him get the win here. Winning at MSG would be a special moment for him. Plus, Madsen’s going nowhere. It sounds really harsh saying that considering he’s coming off his first ever loss and is 12-1 overall. But he’s also 39 years old. He got in late and hasn’t been the most active anyway. He’s got that wrestling background but, I don’t know. He got subbed by Grant Dawson last time and it’ll be a whole year of inactivity by the time he gets in there for this fight. This seems like a fairly evenly matched fight on paper but it’s not really grabbing me.

 

Jamall Emmers vs Dennis Buzukja. Not bad. I’ve only seen a few Emmers fights but I think he’s one of those guys who’s a little bit better than his record suggests. He’s 19-7 and has alternated between wins and losses over the last few years. He lost a split decision against Jack Jenkins in his last fight in June but I’ve got a hazy recollection of thinking he should’ve got the decision that night. Then you dig a bit deeper into his record and you’ll see he took Giga Chikadze to a split back in 2020 and actually beat Cory Sandhagen on a LFA card in 2017. As for Buzukja…

He’s gonna have the crowd on his side here. He’s another Serra-Longo guy out of NY, 26 years old with a record of 11-3 and 5 finishes. He fought on DWCS and finally made his UFC debut back in August. It wasn’t ideal, he stepped in on short notice and lost a decision to Sean Woodson. I remember it being fairly clear for Woodson as well but we’ll see how Buzukja looks here off a full training camp.

 

Kyung Ho Kang vs John Castaneda is just filling a slot really but I could see it being enjoyable enough to watch. Kang’s 36 now, has been on the roster 10 years and none of it really sticks in the memory but, to be fair, I remember him looking good last time out in June, dropping and choking Cristian Quinonez in 2 minutes. Only took him a decade but it was a cracking performance. Castaneda is 20-6 and coming off a points win over Muin Gafurov in what I remember being a good little fast paced scrap in June. He’s also got UFC wins over Miles Johns and Eddie Wineland and went the distance with Nathaniel Wood in his UFC debut.

 

Mateusz Rebecki vs Nurullo Aliev genuinely might be the sleeper on this card. I haven’t really seen enough of either to be confident in that but it’s a really nice bit of matchmaking and definitely a fight worth checking out the prelims for. Rebecki is Polish and has a really decent record of 18-1 with 15 finishes. To be honest, I remember him boring the shite out of me in his UFC debut, smothering Nick Fiore to a decision. But in fairness, looking at his finish ratio, that probably wasn’t a fair reflection or typical of him. Maybe some ‘Octagon jitters’ for his debut because he looked ace in his next fight in June and absolutely wrecked Loik Radzhabov with leg kicks to set up the KO. Aliev’s from Tajikistan, 23 years old and undefeated at 9-0 and he beat Rafael Alves in his UFC debut back in February.

 

Nazim Sadykhov vs Viacheslav Borshchev is another standout fight on the undercard to me. Sadykhov’s another New York based Ray Longo fighter, 9-1 with 7 finishes and it’s so far, so good for him in the UFC. He got a doctor stoppage over Evan Elder in his debut in February in a really exciting hidden/ forgotten gem. Then followed that up by submitting Terrance McKinney in July. He takes on ‘Slava Claus’…

Big fan. That’s him waffling Maheshate Hayisaer in his last fight in May. He’s a one-trick pony for sure. It’s been made apparent that he’s got pretty much zero grappling. That got exposed in his losses to Marc Diakiese and Mike Davis last year. Those fights just laid out the blueprint to beat Slav. Yet Maheshate still decided to try his luck in the striking and paid the price. Slav’s a problem on the feet. He showed it in his DWCS fight against Chris Duncan and stopped Dakota Bush with a nasty body shot in his UFC debut. If Sadykhov is smart, he could potentially make this very easy if he’s got even a half decent ground game. For my own entertainment purposes though, I hope he chooses to bang it out on the feet.

 

Joshua Van vs Kevin Borjas understandably isn’t gonna get much attention on a card like this but if Van’s performance in his UFC debut is how he typically fights, he’s gonna be worth a watch. He’s only 21 years old and he’s 8-1 with 7 finishes. I’d never heard of him before his debut but he got the call to step in on short notice against Zhalgas Zhumagulov in June after Zhalgas had a couple of opponents pull out on him. Everyone was on the Zhalgas bandwagon going in but Van gave zero fucks.

He gave Zhalgas a bit of a hiding as I recall, en route to a split decision win. Not sure how the one judge scored it for Zhalgas. I thought Van won clear cut myself. Was a cracking fight though and the pace Van put on Zhalgas was crazy. If you didn’t know better, you’d swear Van was the one who had the full camp going in. Borjas makes his debut here. He’s from Peru and he’s 9-1 with 8 knockouts. That’s literally all there is on Sherdog about him. They don’t even have his age and height listed! 

 

And…breathe. If you read all that have a gold star or something.

That’s 295.

Amazing write up by @wandshogun09

I absolutely hate MMA, so goes to show how good they are.

I often wander in to there for the boxing and the thought and time that goes into his write ups, means I always take the time to read them. Wonderful. 

I live but to serve you my liege.

[Keith Houchen]

10 minutes ago, Zaheer said:

Random but somewhat fun fact.

 

Brian Cage's new AEW theme was produced by a UKFFer...me !

 

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CzI8ddMNzW7/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

This is cool as fuck. Good on you, Z-Man!!

[Zaheer]

23 hours ago, Keith Houchen said:

This is cool as fuck. Good on you, Z-Man!!

Being added into the post of the year thread after reading this forum for 20+ years might surpass the accolade of getting my song on AEW...

Edited November 3, 2023 by Zaheer

[Devon Malcolm]

Not one post in particular but Richie's reviews of the Carnage Cup in the Deathmatch thread have been a really entertaining read, even as someone who hates them.

 

[Arch Stanton]

I thought the same thing! I've less than zero interest in the subject matter but it's actually quite nice to see him back and the reviews are funny and well written. It's just what you want from On Topic.

[SuperBacon]

This shouldn't be hidden away.

On 11/18/2023 at 7:29 PM, Snitsky's back acne said:

I work with a guy who once flat-shared with a fella who started a website called 'StuffInMyDick.com' (could possibly have been on tumblr)
Apparently the dude had a very elastic foreskin and would take monetised requests from people to put stuff in his foreskin, photo it and then send them the photo.
Or he would do it live via video feed if the price was right. 
I am told he was able to get an entire (old school) Wagon Wheel in there, such was the stretchiness of his old chap's hood.
If I remember rightly he once got an entire bunch of grapes and a roll of Sellotape in there too (although not at the same time)
According to my colleague the guy was a real hit with the ladies. One female fan apparently flew from Germany to have sex with the StuffInMyDick.com guy.

I often wonder how people discover they can do these sort of things.

 

A fucking wagon wheel!

[gmoney]

11 hours ago, LaGoosh said:

That's all well and good but what did that bloke shove up his arse?

This is better, from the same thread. 

[Snitsky's back acne]

2 hours ago, SuperBacon said:

This shouldn't be hidden away.

A fucking wagon wheel!

Old school too. None of your new fangled tiny Wagon Wheels, we are talking the OG Wagon Wheel in the dick. 

[tiger_rick]

11 hours ago, Snitsky's back acne said:

Old school too. None of your new fangled tiny Wagon Wheels, we are talking the OG Wagon Wheel in the dick. 

Wagon Wheels are the same size they've always been, our foreskins have just got smaller.

[Chris B]

11 minutes ago, tiger_rick said:

Wagon Wheels are the same size they've always been, our foreskins have just got smaller.

Larger, surely? The point is that now, I can some people could easily fit four or five of the current-size ones in there.

[SuperBacon]

What an incredibly UKFF conversation.